July 25, 2006

Isn't it ironic?

"BOSTON, Massachusetts (AP) -- The lesbian couple whose lawsuit led to legal same-sex marriage in Massachusetts have announced they have separated."

(Further down the article states the couple has not filed for divorce. But still.)

First of all, I'm not married, and never have been. Second, the thought of same-sex marriages doesn't bother me. Hell, if some neighbor of mine wanted to marry his dog, I'd let him.

Personally, I'm dying to know the reasons for the separation. I bet I know the underlying cause: They married for love.

Now, don't get me wrong--there's nothing wrong with that. But it shouldn't be the only reason. I want to know if they put as much effort into planning their marriage as much as they planned for (or fought for) their wedding.

Pretty snarky of me, I admit. But I know of too many people who've spent tons of hours planning every detail of their wedding, saying it's consuming every spare minute they have. I, for one, believe them, and I wonder how they're planning on merging their bank accounts, or discussing the assets they'll soon be buying in both of their names. I'm sure they talked about kids, sometime after spending several hours picking out the right shade of blue for their napkins, but did they talked about retirement?

Did Julie and Hillary? Yeah, all this speculation is pretty unfair of me, considering all I know about their separation is what I read in a news article on the internet. After all, it's entirely possible they've separated because they can't stand the sight of each other anymore.

Posted by: Victor at 06:36 PM | Comments (17) | Add Comment
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July 24, 2006

I'm sure it seemed like a good idea at the time.

Actions Have Consequences

(Yeah, when ya got nuthin' just throw up some YouTube videos. Note some of these are a bit gory, but man oh Manischewitz, do I ever love watching evolution in action.)

Posted by: Victor at 01:07 PM | Comments (1) | Add Comment
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June 15, 2006

Lindsay Stalker E-Mail Of The Day

The lack of humor out there never ceases to amaze me. Here's the latest Lindsay Logan related email sent to me by one of the teeming rabble. The subject line is " HI..... F U!!!"

Whay dont you get it? uuuuu you have, or had her email,so?
leave the girl alone, dont you have other things to do in youre fucking
life
exept for hunting down celebrities? i guess not! plz tray to learn that
they
are still ordinarry peaps, she just lucky to have that opportunity and job!
and she certanly strugles with for her best more then you do to
yourself!
GET A LIFE MAN, I MEEN CMON ,HAVE SOME RESPECT!
The irony of this dude telling me to get a life is just precious.

Let me clue you in on something Mr. Jariv Voroshilov. Anyone who would spend even five seconds writing the e-mail you wrote to me is by definition a loser. That's a scientific fact. Look it up.

Plus anyone who does a google search for "Lindsay Logan's email" is a stalker as well as a loser. That would be you. Seek help.

Posted by: annika at 06:43 PM | Comments (4) | Add Comment
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December 18, 2005

Disgusting Scammer Lady

Last night at the grocery store i got into the wrong line. It was the express lane and i had only seven items.* i got in that line because the lady ahead of me looked like she had finished getting rung up, so i thought i was good to go.

i was wrong, because she was about to move into phase two of her $6 scheme.

The first thing i noticed was her voice, because she sounded so much like Roseanne Barr, that i truly thought it might have been her. She had bright cinnamon colored hair, cut in a bob, which temporarily obscured her facial features. When she turned in my direction momentarily, i realized it couldn't have been Roseanne, unless Roseanne had recently been involved in a horrible accident.

The lady's teeth were a disaster. Every other one was missing, and the remaining teeth were pointed in every direction except proper. She looked like a mako shark, it was quite an array.

The checker and in fact all of the grocery store personnel were beyond professional throughout the whole ordeal. i was really impressed by them. The controversy that developed involved a reciept that the lady wanted to apply to her purchase. The slip of paper apparently indicated a credit left over from a previous gift card purchase.

The lady said that she threw away the actual gift card after her last visit, even though it still had $6 on it, because a manager had told her she didn't need the card. This mysterious manager said that the receipt could be used instead of the card.

The checker explained that you actually had to have the gift card, and that he couldn't accept the receipt. The lady then began a string of expletives. If a manager said she could do it, she should be entitled to do it.

Of course the lady couldn't identify the particular manager, who apparently wasn't working that night. She also refused to go speak to any other managers unless they came over to her, while she held up the checkout line.

This was the key part of the scam. She needed to create an inconvenience to the other customers so the store employees would just give her the $6 so she could go away. After all, it was only $6, and look at all those people waiting.

Anyways, they opened another aisle and let me check out, so i never found out if the store caved-in to her demands or not. i hope they didn't.
_______________

* Pumpkin pie, Reddi-Whip, Kerns Pineapple-Mango juice, hot dog buns, six Anjou pears in a bag, vanilla ice cream, salsa

Posted by: annika at 03:05 PM | Comments (3) | Add Comment
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July 15, 2004

Don't Let Anybody Fool You

Downtown Sac-town has just as many weirdos as any other self respecting city. Take for instance Homo Sapiens Fountainus-walkus. He's out there now, tramping around with his backpack, walking in the fountain and fouling the water with his disgusting feet.

Posted by: annika at 03:45 PM | Comments (1) | Add Comment
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April 24, 2004

Arion ater jacqchirac

Arion ater jacqchirac, a recently discovered pest, belongs to the family of spineless inverterbrates* which includes the garden slug. A voracious eater, it consumes indiscriminately and without gratitude. It secretes a disgusting oily slime that both lubricates its body and coats the path upon which it slithers.

chiracslug.jpg

Its tiny vestigial shell is of no use in protecting A. jacqchirac, which is why it begs shamelessly for other animals to protect its weak ass whenever it feels threatened. These particular mollusks smell bad, yet think themselves handsome. They talk tough, but inevitably cower when challenged. If you come across one, try sprinkling a little salt in its path and watch the creature squirm in pain and frustration as it tries to find a way around the simple obstacle. They move slowly and never in the right direction.


* An invertebrate is an animal without a vertebral column, or spine. Literally, it's a creature without a backbone.

Posted by: annika at 01:11 PM | Comments (2) | Add Comment
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February 09, 2004

Annoying New Subspecies Discovered

Homo Sapiens Gigantostalkersaurus Rex. King of the giant stalking lizards.

Dude, you're huge. Dude, i can smell your b.o. Dude, your farts fucking linger twenty minutes after you leave the room.

Dude, stop bothering me while i'm trying to work. Dude, if you stand by my cubicle and want to "just say hi," and i refuse to make eye contact, and i keep typing while you talk about total bullshit, which i don't care about, that means i'm busy. There's a good chance that it also means i don't like you.

No, i don't like you like you either.

Dude, i know Valentine's day is coming up. Don't even think about it. If you slither anywhere near me on that day, i'll hurt you.


More: The thing that really creeps me out about Gigantostalkersaurus Rex, now that i think of it, is a little story he told me when he first started working here. This was back when everybody was being polite to the new temp, before he earned his nickname Norman. As in Norman Bates.

i had the misfortune of standing at the copier waiting for Norman to finish with a copy job one morning and we got on the subject of hiking. i like to hike. Seems Norman also likes to hike. i told him about a recent excursion i'd made up north of S.F., and how beautiful the country was up there.

That's when he shared the fact that he likes to go hiking alone. He also shared how much he loves frogs. At that moment i thought to myself: how interesting, because you resemble a frog so terribly much.

One time, when Norman was hiking in the hills all by himself he spied a muddy waterhole populated by a couple of his favorite ribbity friends. He was so happy to see them, he told me, that he "tore off all his clothes and jumped right in the mud with the frogs!"

i shit you not. The freak actually said that to me. i still can't figure out why anyone would admit that, but he did.

At that moment i decided to illuminate the "Warning, Weirdo Alert" siren in my head and take evasive manuevers. Picking up my own copy job, i made some excuse about needing to check my phone messages or something and retreated the fuck outta there.

That was about three months ago. i've been avoiding him ever since, but unfortunately he seems to think i'm playing hard to get.

Blech! Blech!

Posted by: annika at 12:09 PM | Comments (15) | Add Comment
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