November 26, 2007

wwmrd?

WWMRD.jpg

The new bumper sticker for people who can't go five friggin' minutes without pimpin' their third place guy.

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May 04, 2007

Annika's Journal Farewell Tour: Part VI, The Agitprop

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These are the sidebar agitprops I created during the course of this blog's run.

Number one was my first attempt, using a picture of Kerry doing the "raise the roof" gesture. Pretty self-explanatory.

Number two was a little more sophisticated, and the first time I did the whole top and bottom bar thingie. I like the long face distortion, which is useful anytime one wants to depict the french-looking candidate.

Number three was created soon after Byrd gave his freakish meandering oration against the Authorization for the Use of Force. I'm particularly fond of the vampirish pallor of his skin, which was created by manipulating the hue and brightness settings in photoshop. Great pose too. The caption is a subtle hint at his Klan history. Grand Wizard becomes Grand Poobah.

Number four is Nancy Pelosi at her most strident. For effect I manipulated the size of her eyes and mouth. Not enough to look photoshopped, but just enough to be weird.

Number five is connected to my infamous EJ for Sec Gen post, which got such wide exposure thanks to a mention by Jeff Jarvis on the Ron Reagan show. I totally lucked out when I found that picture of EJ with the blue hair wig. It was perfect.

And number six utilizes the gif animation function, which has given me hours of fun since I discovered how to do it back in January of '05. For those who don't know the references, this was based on the promotional photograph of Kiki Couric, which had been photoshopped by CBS to make her look younger and thinner. Tiffany is a reference to CBS's old nickname, "the tiffany network." I can't deny that I was also inspired by Violet from the old Willie Wonka movie.

So much for the agitprop. Someday, when the time is right, I'm planning to make a "Hillary: the female Nixon" sticker and plaster it all over California. Watch for it.

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January 20, 2007

Paid Advertisement

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I know Mark Steyn says our population is aging, but this is ridiculous.

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November 07, 2006

A Silver Lining?

The silver lining is that maybe I can make some money off of this.

Introducing . . . the first post-defeat t-shirt and bumper sticker!

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October 27, 2006

Hardball Hardon

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Chris Matthews has been obsessing over the chick from the Ford ad all week. I think he's smitten. He keeps calling her "sexy, sexy, naked, naked, very alluring, sexy, naked," etc.

But she just isn't that hot. Seriously, I don't even think Casca would go after her. Well, maybe after a few Bacardi and Cokes, I don't know.

More: In Australia, there is a conservative politician running for a seat in a district named, coincidentally, Forde. Her name is Hajnal Ban and she is something.

via AWH

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October 10, 2006

Fantasy Musical Team-Ups That'll Never Happen

Picture this: Barbra Streisand reprising her most famous role as Dolly Levi, and introducing George W. Bush as Horace Vandergelder! That's brilliant casting, and it would be box office gold. Gold I tell ya!

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Alas, I'm afraid it would never happen. I don't think the president could handle the vocal parts.

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September 22, 2006

More Mohammadonna Art

A contributor who wishes to remain anonymous sent me this artwork, inspired by my recent Mohammadonna post. I love it.

Madonna_cresent_copy.JPG

This is great. If anybody else wants to make some Mohammadonna shit, send it to me or give me a link. I'll post it.

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September 16, 2006

Two Wild And Crazy Guys

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[It's the leisure suit. The guy's fashion sense hasn't changed since his embassy storming days.]

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September 04, 2006

Countdown To Kiki

The horror...

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VIOLET: Dessert? Here it comes. Blueberry pie and cream!
It's the most marvelous blueberry pie that I've ever tasted!

CHARLIE: Look at her face!

MR. BEAUREGARDE: Holy Toledo, what's happening to your face?

VIOLET: Cool it, Dad! Lemme finish.

MR. BEAUREGARDE: Yeah, but your face is turning blue!
Violet, you're turning violet, Violet!

VIOLET: What are you talking about?

WONKA: I told you I hadn't got it quite right yet.

MR. BEAUREGARDE: You can say that again. Look what it's
done to my kid!

WONKA: It always goes wrong when we come to the dessert.
Always.

MR. BEAUREGARDE: Violet, what are you doing now?!? You're
blowing up!

VIOLET: I feel funny.

GRANDPA JOE: I'm not surprised.

VIOLET: What's happening?

MR. BEAUREGARDE: You're blowing up like a balloon!

WONKA: Like a blueberry.

MR. BEAUREGARDE: Somebody do something! Call a doctor!

MRS. TEEVEE: Stick her with a pin.

CHARLIE: She'll pop!

WONKA: It happens every time! They all become blueberries.

MR. BEAUREGARDE: You've really done it this time, haven't
you, Wonka. I'll break you for this.

WONKA: Oh, well, I'll get it right in the end.

VIOLET: Help! Help!

(Wonka plays the pipe whistle.)

MR. BEAUREGARDE: We've got to let the air out of her, quick!

WONKA: There's no air in there.

MR. BEAUREGARDE: Hmm?

WONKA: That's juice.

MR. BEAUREGARDE: Juice?!?

WONKA: (to an Oompa Loompa) Would you roll the young lady
down to the juicing room at once, please.

MR. BEAUREGARDE: What for?

WONKA: For squeezing. She has to be squeezed immediately
before she explodes.

MR. BEAUREGARDE: Explodes?!?

WONKA: It's a fairly simple operation.

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June 11, 2006

From The Secret Video Files

A recent conversation between Randi Rhodes and Jerry Springer, dealing with subjects of a more personal nature.

Rhodes & Springer

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March 25, 2006

Page Two Of Dick Cheney's List

That list of items that Vice President Dick Cheney requires when he visits a hotel is kind of interesting. But not nearly as interesting as what was on page two of the list, which was not given to The Smoking Gun.

However, the crack team of investigators here at annika's journal has obtained the top secret second page of Dick Cheney's list, which can now be revealed exclusively for you.

more...

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February 21, 2006

Still More Behind The Scenes At Fox News

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Hey, this is easier to do than a hot tub post.

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February 20, 2006

More Behind The Scenes At Fox News

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Previous Dhue blogging installments: here and here.

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February 11, 2006

If St. Cindy Can Do It, Why Shouldn't I?

You heard that Cindy Sheehan was selling herself over the internet? The ad got pulled by eBay, possibly because the product may produce involuntary stomach spasms.

However, with this auction, no such problems are likely:

auction.jpg

As to any other disclaimers, I disclaim them.

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December 11, 2005

Speaking Of Endorsements

Here's proof that the smackdown Howard Dean received last week is doing some good:

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So go easy on Howie, not only is he working hard to elect the next Republican Congress and President, he's a friend of annika's journal.

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September 25, 2005

Celine Dion Visits The Hot Tub Friends

Guess who dropped in on the Hot Tub Friends' latest party? It's mega-star Celine Dion!

Let's listen in, shall we?


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July 02, 2005

The Freaking Idiot's Guide To The Supreme Court

You ever listen to those early morning CSPAN call-in shows? What a bunch of freaking idiots.

It's like this:

Hello? Is this CSPAN?

Well, I liked that Sander Day O'Conner 'cuz she seemed like she was fair and all. And I think Bush needs to pick someone who's not all for the corporate America with all the Halliburton things and stuff.

Or the angry idiots:
She was just another right wing fascist who selected Bush and wants to roll back Medicare and Social Security with all his fascist crony corporate America and Halliburton things and stuff.
etc.

The right wing callers are no better:

Bush needs to pick somebody who's a mainstream American, like someone who hates them despicable homosexual things and stuff.
i often wonder why so many neanderthals are watching CSPAN instead of, say, Jerry Springer re-runs or those used car dealer infomercials they show on like eight stations every Saturday morning? i think it's because they have trouble figuring out the remote control and just get stuck on the channel.

In my attempt to remedy the ignorance of these people, i've prepared a pocket guide to the Supreme Court for any such CSPAN watchers who may have made it over to my blog and read this far down the page.

My handy pocket guide contains a picture of each Supreme Court justice, their name, and then a short bio. You can print it out if you'd like and refer to it whenever you want to express an opinion out loud about the Supreme Court. more...

Posted by: annika at 08:25 AM | Comments (15) | Add Comment
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June 26, 2005

Tom's Lost It

Somebody give the man some Prozac.

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More at Wizbang.

[Also, i linked to Beth. Because she said i could.]

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June 13, 2005

Stick It

Now that the election is long over, isn't it time to do something about that faded "W" sticker on the ass of your car?

Annoy your liberal friends and neighbors anew with this baby.

Posted by: annika at 10:58 AM | Comments (14) | Add Comment
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May 05, 2005

Paula Hits The Road With The Hot Tub Friends... Again

This time she's on a mission.

Paula's car


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