June 18, 2008

Finals Thought

Kobe's not Jordan? Maybe. I think a more correct statement is Odom's not Pippen. Look, the Lakers are a Phil Jackson team: a bunch of role players with one star but no big man. The Bulls were a Phil Jackson team with two stars and decent, not great, big men. Put Bynum in there, move Gasol to forward where he belongs, and then it's all on Odom. Next year there's a good chance we'll see the same two teams in the Finals. There's nothing wrong with Kobe's game, but the Laker's future depends on whether Odom decides to adopt a Pippen like work ethic or whether he remains content being the same old Odom. Because against these Celtics, one superstar ain't enough.

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June 06, 2008

Paul Pierce? Call Him John Locke

Last night's game wasn't played in the Garden. It was played on the Island. That's the only way to explain how a guy can be wheeled off the court with a season ending injury, only to return a minute and forty-five seconds later miraculously healed. Not just healed, but better, stronger, faster, and more accurate from behind the arc.

Give me a freakin' break.

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May 31, 2008

I'm From The Future, I Came Here In A Time Machine You Invented, And I Need Your Help To Get Back To The Year 1985

Pat Riley's Brylcreem. The Chief's scowl. Danny Ainge pouting. Coop's knee highs. Kareem's goggles. Rambis's Clark Kents. Walton lying on the sideline. Bird vs. Magic (all the way back to '79) Maxwell's choking taunt. Magic's no-looks to Worthy. The Sky Hook was unstoppable. The Garden's heat, its bumpy parquet. McHale's clothesline foul. The Fabulous Forum. Leprechauns. Chick-isms. Big Game James. DJ's freckles. Jack courtside. K.C. Jones ridin' that train. Randy Newman blaring. Boston and L.A. are in the Finals and it's almost the 80's again.

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April 27, 2007

There Must Be Some Mistake

It's simply not possible for a guy to hit fourteen home runs when the season is only 20 games old — and his team still be in last place?!?!

And how is it A-Rod only has 8 walks? Where's the respect?

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March 17, 2007

March Madness

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Is it me, or does Greg Oden look like he's about a thousand years old?

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March 08, 2007

"Wooo, Dropped Wide Open..."

Sundance and Jared are such nice guys, and Sabrina was my favorite.

So like everybody, I guess, I'm floored by the upsets on American Idol tonight.

But Cal beat UCLA, hooooyah!!!

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March 05, 2007

Hansbrough's Nose Is Broke

We all went to bed last night thinking Tyler Hansbrough's nose was bloody but unbroken. However, x-rays today confirm a non-displaced hairline fracture, which is surely painful but not as bad as it could have been.

I've watched the replay of the flagrant foul several times and it's really hard to decide what to think. Looking at the camera angle from behind the basket, Henderson's elbow easily looks intentional, and flagrant. From that viewpoint the way he twists his body appears unnecessary, unless he were trying to throw the elbow. It also looks almost like he's got a closed fist too. But when I look at the replay with the camera angle from the left of the key, it looks totally accidental. From that angle, Henderson's hand is open, and it does appear that his mid-air twist was an attempt to maintain his balance as he came down from his jump.

What do you think?

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January 20, 2007

Alternate Bronco Bombers

The real Bronco Bomber, for you aviation enthusiasts. Apparently, not a reliable piece of equipment.

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Or, if you prefer, here's the most famous Bronco, bombing.



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January 11, 2007

Blech-am Is Coming To America

Resist the Beckham hype!

Soccer is like communism. All true Americans shun and despise it. Now, MLS has managed to pluck has-been soccer megastar David Beckham in their latest attempt to force feed soccer to US sports fans.

Well let me be the first to say I won't stand for it. Americans gave the world baseball, football and basketball, and this is how the rest of the world repays us? With eurotrash David and Victoria Beckham?

Just say no to the hype that is sure to surround Beckham's Coming to America tour. I'm already feeling nauseated by the inevitable oh-so-serious Nike ads featuring Beckham bicycle kicking a soccer ball at supersonic speed through the back of a net fifty miles away — in grainy black and white with a techno soundtrack. Puleeeze, spare me. Soccer will always remain just notch between chess and tetherball on the excitometer, no matter how many spice girls you dress it up with.

Just say no to the Beckham hype!

Soccerus est communismus!

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January 08, 2007

BCS Halftime Update

In the battle of strength vs. strength, Florida's defense is beating Ohio State's offense, like a freakin' drum.

I thought it would be a low scoring game. It's halftime and they've already gone over the over.

I actually like that Tressel went for it on 4th from their own 29, but they should have converted.

I thought FL's kicker sucked. Who's that dude?

I don't think the game is over though. If it was the NFL, yes. But this is college, and that's what I love about NCAAF. Anything can happen. (Such as sucky Florida whooping OSU, I guess.)

The OSU band is playing "My Heart Will Go On?!" Ouch, the irony!

Third Quarter Update:
FL's on the 2 yard line. That's it, I'm done. This game's too boring to sit through the rest. OSU did not show up tonight. Congrats to Florida. I guess the BCS worked, though I still would rather have seen SC play for the title.

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January 06, 2007

Playoff Picks, We Try Again

Okay, I think it's safe to say everyone was surprised by the Colts' defense today.

On to game two: Dallas at Seattle.

Both teams are well coached, yet have stumbled lately.

Romo has played poorly in his last couple of games, but Seattle's secondary may be vulnerable from injuries sustained last weekend.

Hasselbeck throws more interceptions, but Romo fumbles more.

Tough game to pick, but I'm going with the superior quarterback, at least on paper, Tony Romo. Plus, he makes great ribs.

Seattle is the favorite and the spreads range from one to three points. Take the three points, bet Dallas, and laugh at the suckers later. This time for real.

Update: My advice to Tony Romo is this: from now on, be wary of any lady cops named Einhorn.

Update 2: My final record for the year, with 16 games, is 8-6-2. The two pushes tell you exactly how good I am!

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Playoff Picks

The first game today is KC at Indy. The favorite is Indy, by 7 points. Interesting twists include the following:

Indy's run defense is ranked last.

KC's RB Larry Johnson is the league's second best rusher, and having a career year.

Dungy and Edwards are great friends, but Dungy will be looking to avenge Indy's 41-0 loss to Edwards the last time they met in the playoffs.

Manning needs to prove he can win in the playoffs.

I think Indy will win, but LJ and the Colts crappy defense make it too tempting not to take KC plus the 7 points. Go with KC+7 and laugh at the suckers later.

Result: Indianapolis kills the Chiefs, 23 to 8. I lose.

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January 02, 2007

NFL Season Wrap-Up

The Louisville Parrots are beating the Lake Forest uhhh Whittakers. I should continue to watch, but I am hungry. What should I eat? El Pollo Loco is close, but so is In-n-Out.

Okay, the NFL regular season is over and my MNF pick record was 7-5-2, which is not bad. That's a .571 winning percentage, which would get me in the playoffs if I was a football team. I made predictions in 14 games, but I really should pick two more to make it a 16 game season. I don't know where I lost track of those two games.

To make it totally fair, I will predict the next two upcoming games, which happen to be KC-Indy and Dallas-Seattle.

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December 21, 2006

MNF Pick: Makeup Games

Since I had two unscheduled bye weeks lately (I was too lazy and/or forgot to post by game time) I've chosen two sure winners as makeup games.

The first is tonight's matchup between NFC North rivals Minnesota and Green Bay, both 6 and 8. Brett Favre's middle name has been "interception" every time I pick Green Bay, it seems. But the key facts are these: 1) Minnesota is starting a rookie QB at Lambeau Field; 2) Favre is 40 and 5 at Lambeau when the temperature is below 35, as it will be tonight; and 3) this could be Favre's last home game in his career. Green Bay is favored by 3½ points and I say they will cover.

The next sure thing is Saturday night's game between AFC West rivals Kansas City and Oakland. The Raiders have given up on football this year. They have zero pride. I've never seen a professional sports team that cared less about anything. Plus, Al Davis wants that high draft pick so he can squander it yet again. Just lose, baby. Oakland is only a 6½ point underdog, but the opening line was 3½. I'd be surprised if even 3 people took Oakland with only three points. They'll lose by at least two touchdowns. This should be a slaughter and KC will beat the spread easily.

Parlay these two and laugh at the suckers later.

Update: Fuckin Favre, did it to me again!

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December 04, 2006

MNF Pick, Week XIII

This week is a pretty even matchup, Carolina Panthers at Philadelphia Eagles. Based solely on records, I should bet Carolina, especially with the Eagles having lost Donovan McNabb for the season. But I'm going to go with Philadelphia to cover the three point spread.

One reason is that Philly is at home. If they can get the crowd into the game with some early plays, I think Delhomme will have a tough time of it. Jake throws his share of interceptions, and turnovers are always key in a close matchup.

The loss of Donovan McNabb hurts the Eagles, but Jeff Garcia isn't the worst backup QB in the world. He's actually rated higher than Delhomme at this point in the season. I'm not terribly confident about my pick, and most experts are going with Carolina, but there you have it.

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December 02, 2006

Who Gets To Go To Glendale, The Sequel

It's Michigan.

Eric McNeal's deflection and catch were unbelievable. What quick hands.

Musberger said it, "that's why they play the game." USC, heavily favored by as much as 13 points, was upset at the Rose Bowl tonight by arch rival UCLA. And now we'll never get an answer to the Shelly vs. Casca debate.

But instead, we all get a rematch between Ohio State and their arch rival Michigan, undisputably the second best college football team this year. I wanted to see OSU vs. USC, but now I, and the rest of America want the Big 10 rematch.

And I don't want to hear anything about Florida or that strength of schedule bullshit they were peddling on tv tonight. You all saw the Florida Arkansas game. I ask you, did that sloppy Gator team look like they could do anything but cower and hide against either of the Big 10's best? I want to see a game in January, not a blowout.

Update: Hey wait a minute. Cal beat UCLA by two touchdowns. We should go to the Rose Bowl!

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November 27, 2006

MNF Week XII

Quickly. Green Bay at Seattle. Green Bay sucks hard. Ten point underdogs. I followed a pattern last time, which proved true. However, if I follow it again, the chart would tell me that GB wins, and I lose if I bet for GB. They being 10 point underdogs, the pattern breaks down. It's illogical because it tells me I must bet against GB in order to win, but there's no way I can win by betting against them if they win as underdogs. Understand? Therefore, I will assume that the pattern of WLWLWL for GB's last six MNF appearances will be broken tonight (a logical assumption, since they suck hard, see above), and take Seattle minus the points, and see what happens.

Update: A push! Ha-ha, a muthafucken PUSH!

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November 19, 2006

Who Gets To Go To Glendale

I'm very disappointed that the Bears will not be going to the Rose Bowl. A few close calls going the other way, and they might have beaten USC, but it was not to be. Despite Cal's explosive offense, and a defense that kept them in the contest until late, USC clearly has the better all around game.

I also watched the slugfest between Ohio State and Michigan, one of the best games of this college football season. Michigan stayed in range, but they never could get over the top. And afterwards, the announcers debated whether there should be a rematch in Glendale for the National Championship.

Some good arguments can be made for Michigan being the second best team in the country, but I don't want to see a rematch. I saw no fear yesterday on the part of the Buckeyes. I honestly think the team that plays OSU should be a team that makes them a little bit scared. I don't know if USC is that team, but if they beat ND and UCLA, I want to see that matchup.

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November 13, 2006

MNF Pick, Week X

Tonight we have Tampa Bay at Carolina. Tampa Bay's record is 2 and 6. Carolina is 4 and 4. Ho-hum. I don't even plan to watch the game. I got a lot of DVR to catch up on.

The Panthers are heavy favorites, at 10 points across the board. Ninety-three percent of Yahoo! Pick'em users think Carolina will win. As always, the question is will they cover.

Note this information from ESPN's preview:

Carolina has held a fourth-quarter lead in seven games, and lost three of them. Overall, the Panthers have been outscored 104-42 in second halves and 77-30 in fourth quarters.

Said Smith after the loss to Dallas, "When we get up 14 points, sometimes we act like it's a hundred points."

This game is a great opportunity for the Bucs to improve their record. I'm still waiting to see last year's defense emerge. Tampa Bay has been a horrible first half team, and Carolina is a horrible second half team. I think it evens out, with Carolina winning, but not covering the spread. Last time these two teams met, seven weeks ago, Carolina won by two points.

Therefore, take Tampa Bay plus the ten points.

Update: Thanks Ronde. Way to cover your man. Grrrr.

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November 06, 2006

MNF Pick, Week IX

Tonight's game pits sucky Seattle against sucky Oakland. The big question at Qwest Field is who will be suckier. NFC champ Seattle at least has a good excuse: they're missing two great players, Shaun Alexander and Matt Hasselbeck. Bad as Seattle has been playing, they're still number one in the NFC West. Oakland used to be a sure thing on Monday Night, but if they lose this week it will be their fifth consecutive MNF loss. Oakland is currently on a two game winning streak, but it's been four years since they've won three in a row. Plus Art Shell is completely hapless as a coach.

Let's look at Oakland's last two games. They beat the Cardinals, a semi-pro team from somewhere around Phoenix. And last week they managed to beat a sloppy Steelers team, despite moving the ball only 98 yards the whole game! The Raiders' third-string QB, Andrew Walter has thrown nine interceptions and been sacked 28 times since he took over for Aaron Brooks. Last week he threw for 51 yards. This is not only one of the worst Raider teams ever, it's probably one of the worst NFL teams ever.

So, the Seahawks are going to win, but will they cover? They're favored by 7½. I think the smart money is going with Seattle to cover the spread, and that's what I recommend too.

Result: No surprise, the Raiders not only suck, they don't care that they suck. I however, am now 6 and 3!

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