May 15, 2005

My Final Silly Texas Bill Update

The Texas anti-cheerleader bill is dead.

The measure was approved in the Texas House on May 3, with supportive lawmakers waving pompoms as the bill moved to the Senate's Education Committee, where the cheering abruptly stopped.

'We will not be hearing it,' committee chairwoman Sen. Florence Shapiro said Friday.

'We have some very important work to do in the next two weeks, and that's not one of them,' said Shapiro, R-Plano.

Rather than being a 'mandate from the state,' she said, the problem of students performing suggestive acts should be addressed by parents and school districts.

Isn't that what i'd been saying all along? Sheesh. What a waste of legislative time. That's the type of thing they do in the California legislature, but at least the boondogglers out here work full-time at it.

Hat tip to gcotharn, who is now atop the leader board in my fantasy league. Guess who's at the bottom?

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May 04, 2005

Silly Texas Bill Update

Back in March i alerted you to the silly Texas bill that seeks to outlaw suggestive cheerleading routines. As a former high school cheerleader this is an issue close to my own heart, although i will admit the routines have gotten racier in the ten years since i used to shake it on the track. But i'm still a libertarian on this issue.

i'm sure there's a heck of a lot more urgent problems that they could be worrying about in Texas than sexed-up cheerleaders or even this lowlife? Both are symptoms of bad parenting - a failure to teach kids the meaning of "respect" - but not a reason for the state to crack down on freedom of expression.

The committee's revised bill was weakened somewhat, removing the former draconian punishment of suspending the team for the rest of the school year and the punitive reduction in the offending school district's funding.

Instead, the revised bill gives the school district the authority to "take appropriate action against the performance group and the group's sponsor, as determined by the district." Pretty vague, but of course the whole law is hopelessly vague, in my opinion.

Speaking against the bill at the March 29th hearing were two ACLU representatives (see trolls? i can agree with the ACLU sometimes), including eighteen year old high school senior Margeaux Goodfleisch (that's got to be a stage name, right?), who made this quite reasonable point:

I agree that sexually suggestive performances are inappropriate for school events and school-sponsored competitions, but exactly what is a sexually suggestive performance? It could be someoneÂ’s opinion that any time a group of young, attractive girls dance, itÂ’s sexually suggestive. If you put on paper those moves we specifically cannot do, we would be more than happy to comply.
Well, you had to know that the legislature wasn't going to do that. Too much work and too easy to get around. A law like this has to be written vaguely or not at all. And the vagueness is what makes it so ridiculous.

Texas House Bill 1476 was voted out of committee by a vote of six to nothing, with three committee members absent. Today the Texas House of Representatives approved the bill by a vote of 85-55 with three present but not voting. Next, it goes to the Texas Senate for consideration.


See also: Grits For Breakfast with props for Margeaux.

Yet more: Blogger Jason Plotkin was apparently in the chamber for the debate and recorded these fun snippets:

What was funny is how they also had the song 'shake, shake, shake, shake, shake your booty' in the background at one point, I'm assuming, someone in the gallery played it.

. . .

'This is a ridiculous bill. I don't know how it got to the floor,' said Rep. Senfronia Thompson, D-Houston in a Chronicle article. 'We don't have any business mandating anything. We are spending time on "2-3-4, we can't shake it anymore." It's an embarrassment.'

. . .

Rep. Carter Casteel, R-New Braunfels, who agree legislators should not be legislating morality or telling people what to do, but she voted for the bill.

. . .

'When I was 15, anything a cheerleader did was interesting to me. When I was 17, I knew better' said [Rep. Rene Oliveria (D-Brownsville)]. Oliveria brought up how President George W. Bush, Governor Rick Perry and Senator Kay Bailey Hutchinson were cheerleaders and we should recognize them to vote no.

i should "revise and extend" my previous comment regarding the Democrats legislating morality with this bill. Despite being introduced by a Democrat, it appears that on the floor quite a few Dems were on the right side of this one.

Finally, In The Pink Texas gives us a timely warning about what happens to cheerleaders gone bad. And Frank J makes the connection between terrorism and slutty cheerleaders... sort of.

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March 22, 2005

Dura Lex Sed Lex II

i've read Judge Whittemore's ruling on the Shiavo case. The question before him was narrow, and i am persuaded by his reasoning. Reluctantly and sadly persuaded.

Judge Whittemore was constrained by the well established law regarding the issuance of restraining orders and injunctive relief. It cannot be otherwise. Ultimately i blame the trial court for getting it wrong, but the appelate process has limited ability to question the findings of fact made by the original trial court.

"The law is hard, but it is the law."

“If the law supposes that,” said Mr. Bumble, squeezing his hat emphatically in both hands, “the law is a ass—a idiot. If that’s the eye of the law, the law is a bachelor; and the worst I wish the law is, that his eye may be opened by experience—by experience.”

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March 18, 2005

Silly Texas Bill

Currently pending in the Texas House of Representatives is H.B. No. 1476, which i've posted below, in full:

AN ACT relating to regulation of sexually suggestive performances at certain public school events.

BE IT ENACTED BY THE LEGISLATURE OF THE STATE OF TEXAS:

          SECTION 1. Subchapter D, Chapter 33, Education Code, is amended by adding Section 33.088 to read as follows:

          Sec. 33.088. SEXUALLY SUGGESTIVE PERFORMANCES PROHIBITED.

          (a) A school dance team, drill team, cheerleading team, or similar performance group may not perform in a sexually suggestive manner at an athletic or other extracurricular event or competition sponsored or approved by a school district or campus.

          (b) A school performance group that violates Subsection (a) may not perform for the remainder of the school year in which the violation occurs.

          (c) If the commissioner determines that a school district or a campus in a school district knowingly permits a sexually suggestive performance prohibited by Subsection (a) or knowingly permits a school performance group to perform in violation of Subsection (b), the commissioner shall reduce the funding the district receives under Chapter 42 by an amount the commissioner determines appropriate.

          SECTION 2. This Act takes effect immediately if it receives a vote of two-thirds of all the members elected to each house, as provided by Section 39, Article III, Texas Constitution. If this Act does not receive the vote necessary for immediate effect, this Act takes effect September 1, 2005.

This silly bill, introduced by Al Edwards of Houston, a Democrat (what a surprise), is currently in committee.

i'll keep an eye on it.

i don't understand why people think conservatives are prudes, when it's Democrats who want a new law for every perceived threat to morality. Remember Tipper?

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March 16, 2005

The World's Worst Lawyer?

Robert Blake is breathing two huge sighs of relief tonight. One for being found not guilty and the other for his incredible stroke of luck months before his own trial began. Yes, when Blake was shopping around for lawyers after firing his legal team a couple of times, Mark Geragos was busy!

chamber

i have a theory why Michael Jackson fired Geragos a few months back. Winona Ryder must have called to warn him. Lucky for MJ, he's got a much better lawyer now in Thomas Mesereau.

Exhibit 1 of the evidence that Geragos is the world's worst lawyer was introduced on Larry King Live tonight. King asked a juror whether it would have made a difference if Scott had testified. The juror said that if Scott had spoken during the penalty phase, he could never have voted for execution. It seems all the jury wanted was to see some sign of emotion from the defendant.

Instead, Geragos' brilliant strategy was to yuk it up with Scott in front of the jury during the trial. i guess the theory was that an innocent man doesn't show emotion. Not even if his wife and son have been brutally murdered, by a killer who is still out there.

Idiot.

But hey, i'm not complaining about the verdict or the fact that Geragos was so incompetent with this particular case. What bothers me is how much the media seemed to deify Geragos during the trial. Like he was another Johnny Cochran or something. When in fact, Geragos deserves to be ranked somewhere near Marcia Clark on the list of world's worst lawyers.

As a final thought, my opinion on the death penalty has moderated quite a bit since i wrote this post almost two years ago. But the offer still stands.

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February 21, 2005

BL Line Of The Night

We all hate our clients. It's good to hate. It allows us to overcharge and still sleep at night.
--Denny Crane


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February 08, 2005

The Oldest Trick In The Plaintiff's Book

Brittany Spears is suing her insurance companies after they refused to pay her multi-million dollar claim.

Britney Spears has filed a $9.8 million lawsuit in New York to cover the losses for her canceled Onyx Hotel Tour.

Spears called off the 2004 tour after suffering a knee injury, but several insurers refused to make up the amount she lost because on the insurance applications, Spears checked 'no' to the question of pre-existing injuries, Celebrity Justice reports.

Spears had undergone minor knee surgery [on the same knee] five years before she signed the applications. She claims she simply forgot about the surgery because it was so long ago and she had fully recovered.

Now the lesson here is, don't lie on your insurance application. It's the oldest trick in the plaintiff's book: hide your pre-existing injuries. Usually it's done after the claim is made, but in Brittany's case, she did it on the application.

What's wrong with that? Well from a theoretical standpoint, it's borderline fraudulent. She offered to enter into a contract with the insurance company without disclosing information that would be directly relevant to the amount of premium they would agree to charge her. In other words, she was arguably ripping off her insurance companies.

People do this all the time. When i worked on auto cases for insurance company clients, the most common scenario was the person who lied about thier address to get a better rate. Other people lie about the length of their commute. Sometimes, after making a claim, they'd lie about who was actually driving the car, or whether a relative lived in the same house, in order to get around an exclusion in the contract.

When you're talking 9.8 mil, i can understand why the insurance company would use any defense they can find to get out of paying on the claim. Of course, that's what insurance companies do best anyways: weasel out of paying claims. It's all a part of the game.

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January 29, 2005

Which Tort Am i?





take the WHAT INTENTIONAL TORT ARE YOU test.
and go to mewing.net. because law school made laura do this.

Cool, that's my favorite tort anyways. It's like khaki, 'cause it goes so nicely with all my other torts.

Via Micah!

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January 05, 2005

I Hear The Law Firm Of Gypsy, Rose & Lee Is Hiring

And in the "aren't there too many lawyers already?" department, we have this story:

An assistant Broward County public defender who was forced to quit after charges of sexual misbehavior was cleared, reinstated and promoted on Monday.
Promoted!
Jayme Cassidy, who was forced to quit Nov. 28 by former Public Defender Alan Schreiber, was rehired on the first workday of new Public Defender Howard Finkelstein.

. . .

She was accused by Schreiber of harassing two male lawyers in the office, slapping a private lawyer at a Halloween party and dancing nude at a conference on sex cases in Orlando.

Well if a lawyer's gonna dance nude, where better to do it than at a conference on sex cases?
Finkelstein said Cassidy never danced nude but may have acted inappropriately on other occasions. He said any incidents happened outside the office and did not meet the definition of sexual harassment or creating a hostile workplace.

He blamed Cassidy's misbehavior on the breakup of her marriage.

Or could it be that her marriage broke up because of her behavior? Just a thought.

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December 18, 2004

Exams

In case anyoneÂ’s interested, hereÂ’s my take on law school exams. i finished with civil procedure, torts and contracts (my favorite). Next up are criminal law and property. i've been in school most of my life and i've mastered just about every type of test there is. But the law school exam is a different kinda bitch altogether.

One key to taking a law school exam, which i just learned this week, is panic management. How come nobody told me about the panic thing? i first discovered this phenomenon while doing timed practice exams during the week before finals. Panic attack severity seems to be inversely related to the amount of time remaining for exam completion.

iÂ’ve finished three exams so far, and iÂ’ve had three panic attacks. Each one occurred somewhere between the halfway mark and three quarters of the way through the exam. Each was accompanied by dry mouth, an increased heart rate, and a curious rushing sound in my ears; not to mention a morbid feeling of dread helplessness, as if i were drowning or being buried alive.

The first panic attack occurred soon after i congratulated myself for having completed question two of the civil procedure examination well ahead of schedule. That should have been a warning - i ain't that smart. i suddenly realized that i had completely missed the arcane issues of ancillary and pendent jurisdiction. Instead of having extra time for the third question, this blunder required me to go back and add shit to my previous answer. I ended up having to rush through the third essay. Luckily, i managed to finish just as time was called.

The torts panic attack came not from any brain fart of my own - i got that subject down cold - but from the sick realization that there was too much to write and not enough time to do it. Time management again rears its ugly head. The final essay, though easy, simply had too many issues for the amount of time left. i raced through it, abbreviating as much as i could without degenerating into something akin to IM speak.

D prvlgd by prvt ncssty b/c DÂ’s invsn of PÂ’s ppty was rsnbl 2 prtct DÂ’s ppty, t/f no trspss, hÂ’ver b/c prvt ncssty = qlfÂ’d prvlg, D mst py 4 dmg csd by non-trts cndt.
Well, not quite that bad, but i was definitely in what i like to call “finished product mode.”

By Friday, i greeted the panic attack as if it were an old friend. The thing to do is recognize that it is coming and push through it. i never had panic attacks in undergrad or grad school exams. ThatÂ’s the cool thing about the liberal arts. i always knew if i got stuck i could always b.s. my way out of it. If i wasnÂ’t sure about one aspect of the subject, i could always emphasize the stuff i knew really well. Distract the professor with my brilliance on what i did know, so he couldnÂ’t in good conscience penalize me for what i didnÂ’t know. It usually worked.

But the law school exam is not so forgiving. If there are five elements you have to apply, and you do an awesome job applying four of them, but miss the fifth, you still blew 20 percent of the grade. ThatÂ’s what worries me. i think i spotted all of the issues presented in the exams. But how would i know if i didnÂ’t? i guess i wonÂ’t know until grades come out.

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September 07, 2004

A Couple Of Useful Legal Maxims

Mike (a third year):

"Annika, there is only one secret to law school and it is this: time management."
Me:
"Okay, so what's the secret to time management, then?"
Mike (with totally straight face):
"Cooking in bulk."

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August 02, 2004

Hacking Arrested

Maybe i'm getting cynical watching the Scott Peterson debacle prosecution in progress, but i'm anxious to see how the Salt Lake DA fucks up this open and shut case.

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July 21, 2004

Zzzzzzzzz

Here's a letter that Martha Stewart wrote to the judge in her recent criminal trial. i defy anyone to make it to the end of the four page letter, it's so boring. As i commented at Dawn's (from whom i stole this link), didn't they teach Martha anything about run-on sentences at Barnard?

I have spent most of my professional life creating, writing, researching, and thinking on the highest possible level about quality of life, about giving, about providing, so that millions of people, from all economic strata, can enjoy beauty, good quality, well made products, and impeccably researched information about many hundreds of subjects which can lead to a better life and more rewarding family lifestyle.
Just on and on and on. Shit woman, just get to the point! No wonder they wouldn't let her testify. Gawd, wouldn't she be the worst lunch partner ever?

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March 25, 2004

Santa Monica Bans Beach Smoking

No more smoking at the closest beach to my house (unless you have a doctor's note, i would guess).

Even as a smoker, i still have to ask: Who wants to smoke at the beach anyway? It's hard to light up and even a small breeze will make the cig burn so fast it's gone before you know it. i tend to smoke less when i'm out in the hot sun anyways. i also feel guilty just sticking the butt in the sand like so many people do.

i got the link from L.A. Observed. There's a couple of comments from people calling this new law "fascist." Then there's an interesting rebuttal chiding those commenters for not understanding the import of the word "fascist." Interesting, if somewhat vitriolic.

i generally don't get too worked up over anti-smoking laws. Some people claim that if we smokers want to do something harmful, we should be able to do it. They also claim that second hand smoke is harmless. But i know i shouldn't be smoking and if a law makes it inconvenient for me to continue a dangerous habit, i think that's a good thing. And as for second hand smoke being harmless, that's an argument that seems to go against common sense. Why not err on the side of safety?

Still, banning smoking on the beach seems a bit much. The only logical justifications would seem to be 1) anti-litter, 2) encouraging quitting and 3) minimizing children's exposure to viewing people with cigarettes. Those are thin justifications, but hey, like i said, it's a bad habit so i'm not gonna get too upset about it.

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March 21, 2004

Results Of LindaÂ’s Trial

Last week i wrote about the trial i was helping my friend Linda with. She represented the defendant and made her closing argument on Friday. The jury came back after about an hour and fifteen minutes.

The jury found our client negligent, but only awarded $1800 to the injured plaintiff, the amount of her medical bills. The jury unanimously awarded nothing to the wife for pain and suffering and nothing to the husband for loss of consortium.

The juryÂ’s verdict was substantially below LindaÂ’s last offer before trial. i could tell by the look on the plaintiffsÂ’ faces as they walked out of the courtroom on Friday that they regretted not taking the pre-trial offer.

We suspect that the jury did not like the way the plaintiffs were making a mountain out of a molehill, especially in regard to the loss of consortium claim. Linda tells me that it's very hard for plaintiff attorneys to get good verdicts on cases that only involve minor muscle strains. The more money the plaintiffs ask for, the less the jury seems to like them, she says.

i was impressed with LindaÂ’s skill as a cross-examiner and her eloquent closing argument. This was only her third trial, but iÂ’d never have known it by watching her. Of course itÂ’s the first real trial iÂ’ve ever seen, but i thought the plaintiffsÂ’ attorney was far less prepared than Linda.

i told Linda how great i thought she had been, but she was characteristically humble. “The facts won this case, not me,” she said.

“But you were so much better than the other lawyer,” i said. “You laid some traps for him that he had no idea how to get out of.” That was true, Linda got the plaintiff’s doctor to admit to a couple of innocuous facts during cross-examination and then during closing she sprung the trap by using those facts in a way that the other attorney had not anticipated. He didn’t see her argument coming and so he had no answer to it in his rebuttal. It was beautiful.

Linda has less of an ego than any lawyer iÂ’ve ever met. She simply refused to take credit for her trial victory. She thanked me profusely for my help, even though the judge denied both of the motions in limine that i wrote.

Friday, after work, Linda and i met up with our other team members, Grace, Paul, Patricia and Kathy for a round of Guinnesses. Finally, we got Linda to admit that she was good.

“Well, if there’s one thing I did do well,” she said, “it’s that i didn’t let [the plaintiffs’ attorney] get away with any mistakes.”

i agreed. She really exploited every weakness in the plaintiffsÂ’ case, including some weaknesses that i didnÂ’t see at first. Linda had this way of taking the arguments that the other guy thought were very clever and turning them around to use against him. i donÂ’t know how she did it, but if i ever make it through law school, i want her to teach me.

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March 17, 2004

Loss Of Consortium

i've been silent this week because i'm helping Linda out on a trial. This basically means that i either sit in the audience and run errands for her, or do research and write little motions back at the office. Which is why i'm here tonight and not out drinking on St. Patrick's Day.

The trial is quite interesting. Hard to predict how it's going so far. Both sides are scoring points and the jury is hard to read.

The plaintiffs' case includes a claim for loss of consortium. In case you don't know, this is a claim that can be made when one spouse is injured and the other non-injured spouse says they lost out on sex, affection, love, help around the house and other stuff like that. We represent the defendants.

What i want to know, just out of curiosity, is what you folks think about that type of a lawsuit. In Linda's case, one plaintiff received some minor injuries: sore back, sore neck, etc., which went away with some physical therapy after two or three months. During those two or three months, the husband complained that they weren't able to have sex their usual two times per week, and the wife couldn't help around the house as much. They're both in their late thirties and they've been married 14 years.

Assuming that the defendants were negligent for causing the wife's minor injuries, what would you do about the husband's claim if you were on the jury?

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February 09, 2004

Idiot Alert

Fail me once, shame on you.

Fail me twice, shame on me.

Fail me forty-seven times, shame on the California Bar examiners . . .

Would you hire this lawyer?

And what does this idiot intend to do now?

He wants to challenge laws denying ex-felons the right to vote. He hopes to file a class-action suit in the next six months.
My dad was right. There's too many damn lawyers in this state.

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