Celebrity Sex Videos Nobody Wants To See
Radical Redneck alerted me to the following bit of
celebrity gossip:
He may have played nerdy eighth-grader Samuel (Screech) Powers in the sitcom "Saved by the Bell." But former TV geek Dustin Diamond can now take his place with Colin Farrell, Tommy Lee and Kid Rock as the star of his very own sex tape.
Everyone who remembers Diamond as a lovable putz is in for a shock once they see a 40-minute video in which he engages in a kinky three-way with two women, sources tell us.
We can't get too graphic here, but word is that the action includes some bodily functions and an act known as a "Dirty Sanchez."
I looked up "Dirty Sanchez" in the
Rolodex of Love [nsfw]. Then I wished I hadn't.
Dirty Sanchez: A time honored event in which while laying the bone doggie style, you insert your finger into her asshole. You then pull it out and wipe it across her upper lip leaving a thin shit mustache. This makes her look like someone whose name is Dirty Sanchez.
Ugh.
Anyways, there's nothing that might induce me to want to watch Screech and two chicks fucking on video. In fact, John McCain might want to add that to his list of prohibited torture methods, just in case anybody at the CIA gets creative.
So I got to thinking. Who else might make the list of Celebrity Sex Videos Nobody Wants To See?
Posted by: annika at
04:54 PM
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1
There is a whole scene in "The 40-Year Old Virgin" devoted to obscure titles associated to (what some may consider deviant)sexual practices. It's fucking hilarious. The "Dirty Sanchez" is, of course, included.
It's worth renting the movie just to see the "extra features" portion of the DVD.
Posted by: blu at September 27, 2006 07:10 PM (TVuWZ)
2
Its gotta be Al Franken
Posted by: Scof at September 27, 2006 07:45 PM (deQ2d)
3
ya know, Kathy Lee Gifford might be an all star get crazy chick. Sometimes, those girls who are Southern nicey-nice on the outside...
Posted by: gcotharn at September 27, 2006 08:27 PM (dHcmN)
4
Donkey punch!
(Watching a little too much Retarded Animal Babies...)
Kevin
Posted by: Kevin Kim at September 27, 2006 10:15 PM (TDwc6)
5
What's with all this shit play? Don't people know that's how hepatitis is spread? Don't play with peoples shit.
Posted by: Casca at September 27, 2006 10:15 PM (2gORp)
6
The version of Dirty Sanchez I've heard of doesn't involve a finger...
That said, I just threw up a little bit in my mouth.
Posted by: The Law Fairy at September 28, 2006 02:31 PM (XUsiG)
7
I just realized you left out Rosie O'Donnell.
Posted by: Victor at September 29, 2006 05:47 AM (L3qPK)
8
Diamond has been trying for a new image every since he appeared on that Celebrity Boxing show and beat up Horshack. Other people whose careers could be resurrected by a sex tape include the guy who played Webster, and the guy who played Urkel. And maybe Lily Tomlin - or perhaps not.
Posted by: Ontario Emperor at September 29, 2006 11:25 PM (c9o5+)
9
How about a threesome of Mike Moore, Rosie Barr and Helen Thomas? With plenty of salad tossing!
Posted by: Radical Redneck at October 02, 2006 09:13 AM (TKGWe)
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If Madonna Actually Had A Pair

If Madonna actually had a pair she would risk a fatwa by insulting people who would kill her in a heatbeat instead of ridiculing Roman Catholics who are so used to it by now that we don't even bat an eyelash.
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10:02 PM
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Posted by: Scof at September 20, 2006 10:24 PM (deQ2d)
2
No shit? That's really Madonna? You're sure it's not just a photoshop where they stuck her tiny, kubuki-actor-in-drag head onto one of her larger, female-impersonator-fan's body?
That's just scary nasty.
Posted by: ccwbass at September 20, 2006 11:04 PM (AJVvf)
3
That's a dude in that picture, right?
Posted by: Gib at September 21, 2006 12:16 PM (PsC2M)
4
Looks like she
does have a pair. She's just a coward -- with a pair.
Posted by: Matt at September 21, 2006 12:46 PM (10G2T)
5
When did Madonna stop being relevant? 1988 or 1989?
Posted by: kyle8 at September 21, 2006 03:43 PM (cxCSP)
6
"When did Madonna stop being relevant?"
Hell, when did she ever START being relevant?
Posted by: BobG at September 21, 2006 04:51 PM (JEhpy)
7
Are you sure this isn't Michael Jackson with a new and improved nose job?
Posted by: jesusland joe at September 21, 2006 06:08 PM (rUyw4)
8
Guess I'm the odd man out here cuz I think she's pretty freakin' hot for a 48 year old idiot.
Posted by: blu at September 21, 2006 06:20 PM (TVuWZ)
9
For a moment there, I thought that was a pic of Chyna.
Posted by: reagan80 at September 21, 2006 06:28 PM (dFOlH)
Posted by: shelly at September 22, 2006 01:57 AM (ZGpMS)
11
Heh, daily doses of HGH will do that for your ass. I like the moslem with the bomb in his hat.
Posted by: Casca at September 22, 2006 06:24 AM (Z2ndo)
12
Kyle8: Methinks it was 1992 or so.
Posted by: Mark at September 28, 2006 10:50 PM (O77fj)
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Countdown To Kiki
The horror...

VIOLET: Dessert? Here it comes. Blueberry pie and cream!
It's the most marvelous blueberry pie that I've ever tasted!
CHARLIE: Look at her face!
MR. BEAUREGARDE: Holy Toledo, what's happening to your face?
VIOLET: Cool it, Dad! Lemme finish.
MR. BEAUREGARDE: Yeah, but your face is turning blue!
Violet, you're turning violet, Violet!
VIOLET: What are you talking about?
WONKA: I told you I hadn't got it quite right yet.
MR. BEAUREGARDE: You can say that again. Look what it's
done to my kid!
WONKA: It always goes wrong when we come to the dessert.
Always.
MR. BEAUREGARDE: Violet, what are you doing now?!? You're
blowing up!
VIOLET: I feel funny.
GRANDPA JOE: I'm not surprised.
VIOLET: What's happening?
MR. BEAUREGARDE: You're blowing up like a balloon!
WONKA: Like a blueberry.
MR. BEAUREGARDE: Somebody do something! Call a doctor!
MRS. TEEVEE: Stick her with a pin.
CHARLIE: She'll pop!
WONKA: It happens every time! They all become blueberries.
MR. BEAUREGARDE: You've really done it this time, haven't
you, Wonka. I'll break you for this.
WONKA: Oh, well, I'll get it right in the end.
VIOLET: Help! Help!
(Wonka plays the pipe whistle.)
MR. BEAUREGARDE: We've got to let the air out of her, quick!
WONKA: There's no air in there.
MR. BEAUREGARDE: Hmm?
WONKA: That's juice.
MR. BEAUREGARDE: Juice?!?
WONKA: (to an Oompa Loompa) Would you roll the young lady
down to the juicing room at once, please.
MR. BEAUREGARDE: What for?
WONKA: For squeezing. She has to be squeezed immediately
before she explodes.
MR. BEAUREGARDE: Explodes?!?
WONKA: It's a fairly simple operation.
Posted by: annika at
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1
LMAO, Fucking Fabulous!
Posted by: Casca at September 05, 2006 07:12 AM (Z2ndo)
2
For some reason my browser at the office won't play animated gifs. So my early morning WTF is now an evening LOL.
Very nice.
Posted by: Gordon at September 06, 2006 05:13 PM (YrwYk)
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Steve Irwin Is Gone
This is a shocker.
Steve Irwin, the Crocodile Hunter just died. Killed by a stingray barb to the chest while filming a show. He made his living taking chances and it finally caught up to him. How sad for Terri.
Posted by: annika at
12:10 AM
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1
Sounds like kind of freak sort of accident. Ironic for a guy that you would have thought would have gone while wrastlin' a croc. Too bad for his kids too.
Posted by: Pursuit at September 04, 2006 07:47 AM (n/TNS)
2
I loved his show. I'll miss him.
Posted by: reagan80 at September 04, 2006 08:34 AM (b+rC4)
3
this is a terrible loss to the world. he was such a giving man. i feel for terri, bindi, bob bob (what steve used to call him, terri calls him robert), and his dad, bob. and to all the rest of his extended family at australia zoo. kelsey, jodi, wes, briano, thelma, fred, big richard and little richard and all the rest. i will truly miss him.
bookie
Posted by: bookie at September 05, 2006 03:38 PM (ZGpMS)
4
Steve RIP snik, i shall miss you, you are the greatist. all the best too his wife,children and family
From Holland Jeroen
Posted by: jeroen at September 06, 2006 02:22 AM (abk0+)
5
it just feels so weird you never think they are going to die ever like the celebs are gonna live forever what would it be like if paris hilton died that would be weird people would talk about it for days.
Posted by: Dani at September 06, 2006 06:33 AM (AN4ac)
6
His death is a tremendous loss both for animal and human life. I surely miss his entertainment and educational shows. Our Prayers and blessing go to his family.
Posted by: flowers at September 08, 2006 10:08 AM (3+CYW)
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