May 19, 2004
i can't be sure though. My dress has become much more professional as my job responsibilities have increased. Still, on the occasion of this morning's e-mail, i decided to do a thorough examination of conscience, just to be sure.
O great and powerful H.R. person. It has been one and a half years since my last confession. Since then, i have . . .
Let me see that list . . .
Beachwear: Is that like a bikini? Okay. i'm good. i hope i have enough sense to know that i can't wear a bikini to work.
Halter tops: i'm okay there too. Unless you count company picnics.
Tank Tops: Oops. Maybe on a casual Friday or two.
Shorts: Shit. You got me there. i had no idea shorts were illegal. But i've only been wearing them on Fridays.
Severe Mini-Skirts: Define severe? Is that like leather?
Shirts with offensive language or slogans: You mean like Bush/Cheney 2004?
Flip Flops or Sandals: Guilty on both counts.
Leggings, Tights, Stirrup Pants: Nope. But you might want to walk down the hall and check out what a certain heiffer is wearing today.
Capri Pants, Pedal Pushers, or Flood Pants: Shit, those are out too? i love capris! And as for flood pants, go check out the I.S. guy, for Pete's sake.
Backless or Strapless Clothing: Come on. i'm not that much of a tart.
Sweat, Warm-Up, Jogging Suits or Workout Attire: Go check out the heiffer tomorrow.
Hats, Caps: Only on days that the Lakers play.
Denim shirts: i'm good.
T-shirts or sweatshirts: Only on casual day.
Midriff tops or sweaters: Okay, i push the envelope a bit on this one. But it's hard finding a top that doesn't creep up just a little as the day goes on.
Stone washed or severely faded denim pants or skirts: Not me. Come on, the eighties are so over.
Spandex: Don't make me laugh.
Overalls/jumpers: Only on days when i plan to do carpentry. Or play on the jungle gym. Gimme a break.
Painter or cargo pants: i've been known to wear cargo pants, and for that i'm sorry.
Workout attire, bike pants: i wouldn't need the extra padding of bike shorts if the chairs in the lunch room were more comfortable. Just kidding. i'd never.
Work/combat boots: LOL, no.
Sneaker/tennis/athletic shoes: Guilty.
Excessive jewelry: Do the tongue and belly studs count?
Stained, ripped, torn or wrinkled clothing: Not at all.
See through clothing: You mean i can't wear this outfit?
Low cut clothing: Not me. i have nothing to show off. You might want to take a look at the receptionist, though. That is if you can see past the crowd of male associates surrounding her.
Sunglasses in the building: Maybe once or twice after a hard night.
O great and benevolent H.R. person, i am heartily sorry for having offended thee. And i detest all my dress code violations because of thy just punishment. But most of all, because they offend thy delicate sensibilities, O great H.R. wench, who art all prude and needs to get a life. i firmly resolve, with the help of thy firm-wide e-mails, to violate the dress code no more, and to avoid the near occasion of style.
Amen.
Posted by: annika at
09:45 AM
| Comments (9)
| Add Comment
Post contains 607 words, total size 4 kb.
May 13, 2004
Think about shoes.*
Think.
About.
Pretty.
Shoes.
i do feel so much better now.
* A much needed contemplative moment inspired by the girls at Candied Ginger.
Posted by: annika at
03:56 PM
| Comments (8)
| Add Comment
Post contains 33 words, total size 1 kb.
Tres chic!Brittany knows what fash-ism is all about. That's why she sports an annika's journal Trucker Hat whenever she hits up the Circle-K for some after-romp Cheetos and a pack of smokes! Nothing says "i'm a foul-mouthed, chain-smoking blonde who loves junk food and sex" quite like an annie's j Trucker Hat!
Wanna be like Brit? Visit my cafepress.com shop. No, don't just visit - Buy something! Get a bunch of stuff for yourself and don't forget, annika's journal merch makes a great gift.
Father's Day is coming up and you know my blog is a big hit with dads. An annika's journal Mug or Trivet would make the perfect gift. It's the least you could do for the guy who paid for all the beer you drank in college. Even if he thought you were spending it on books.
Don't you have a dog? i bet Rover would love playing catch with an annika's journal Flat Round Thing That You Throw. It'll provide good exercise for your puppy - nobody likes a fat dog (except Brittany fans, of course).
Guys, have you run out of gift ideas for the girlfriend? No girl says no to a nulla puella negat Cami. She'll either slap you or kiss you - or possibly both.
Did you miss Mother's day? If you did, you'd better make it up to her right now with a vastly overpriced, but highly artistic Burghers of Calais Abstract Lunchbox. She'll love it so much, she might actually forgive you. Then again maybe not.
Posted by: annika at
12:01 AM
| Comments (10)
| Add Comment
Post contains 269 words, total size 2 kb.
62 queries taking 0.0575 seconds, 158 records returned.
Powered by Minx 1.1.6c-pink.
