June 05, 2005

French Open Fashion Break Point

Today's exciting French Open final between two absolute hotties, Argentina's Mariano Puerta and Spain's Rafael Nadal, is a great match. But i had to break away between sets to comment about their awful fashion choices.

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Puerta chose an orange shirt to wear on a clay court. Not good. Really bad, actually. Maybe that was part of his strategy, to distract Nadal with some sort of ill-conceived camouflage idea.

But Rafael Nadal's outfit takes le cake. A chartreuse sleeveless top with white capris? Qu'est-ce que c'est? Il est terrible! i want to match them with some cute lace-up espadrilles, dude. No guy can pull off that look, not even one as gorgeous as Rafael. Tennis player thighs are the best looking thighs in the world; why cover them up?

And the panty-lines! Guys, white pants are why they invented thongs. Any girl will tell you. That's embarrassing. They should try some lycra boxers or something.

Okay, time for me to get back to the sweaty grunting latins. They're tied, one set all, in the third set.

[Welcome, Slate readers! Why not bookmark annika's journal?]

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June 04, 2005

International Underwear News Update

White thongs voted "sexiest piece of clothing."

Germans take sides on the thong issue.*

And British soldiers, sailors and airmen told to behave.*

That last story gives new meaning to the term "airmen," doesn't it?

*Via WastedBlog.

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May 30, 2005

Don't Hate Me Cuz i'm A Capitalist

Happy Memorial Day everyone. And especially to all veterans and active military, thank you and God bless you all.

A friend of mine told me yesterday why none of my a's j t-shirt designs have ever sold, even though my Cafépress site has been up for ages. "They're too gay," he said in pithy and/or lame language.

<shameless self-promotion>Well, fash-ism problem solved. Here is my brand new tuff t-shirt design, incorporating the Maltese Cross so popular these days with the biker crowd; and the URL is in a grafitti style font:

tshirtdesigns.jpg

i honestly don't know about the quality of the t-shirts from cafépress, i've never bought one, but i do have some mugs and they came out beautifully. These shirts are $15.00 to $18.00, depending on the style. Seems pricey, but i only get a couple of bucks out of it; the rest goes to those pimps at cafépress. (Anyways, you know i'll put the money to good use. Gambling debts, sex toys, court-ordered restitution, and the like.)

Guys could personalize them with a few motor oil (or bbq sauce) stains, then wear one to the gym. Why not broadcast to the world how smart and tuff you are while you're lifting those barbells. And girls can tie the hem in a knot to show off their own little barbell, maybe while riding on the back of a Harley off Highway 101.

If you're reading annika's journal every day, like you're supposed to,* there's no reason why you shouldn't have your very own a's j t-shirt.

Now if i could just get Brittany or Lindsay or Paris to model one, i could retire wealthily.</shameless self-promotion>
_______________

* Yes, even on days when i don't post. You could be committing earlier posts to memory.

Posted by: annika at 09:13 AM | Comments (16) | Add Comment
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May 13, 2005

Pelosi's Pinko Pump Found!

So Nancy Pelosi lost her shoe running out of the Capitol. It always sucks to lose a shoe, but luckily for the San Francisco congresswoman, hers was found!

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February 19, 2005

Oh... My... God...

i've just fallen in love. Alas, they're too freakin' expensive.

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January 25, 2005

Time To Start Thinking Poolside

We're not even out of January yet, but i'm getting swimwear catalogs in the mail already. It's still sweater weather here in Sacramento, and most of the country is freezing cold. But last weekend, i was in L.A., where the sun was shining, the birds were singing, and the weather was its usual perpetual summer. Which, of course, got me thinking about planning my seasonal wardrobe.

So using my fine fashion eye, i'm able to tell you what's going to be hot by the pool and at the beach this summer. i think i can sum it up with these four words: polka-dots, halter-tops, boy-shorts and beads. Okay, so maybe that's seven words, but this is a post about fashion, not semantics, so listen up.

What in the world could be cuter than a polka-dot two-piece? They wrote a song about it didn't they? Trust me, everything is gonna be polka-dots this year. My favorites are at Vicki's Secret, including this classic triangle string-tie in white with multicored dots. Trés adorable. There's also a halter-top in the same pattern. Raisin's has a similar top and bottom, but the price is not as nice. Vicki's is actually swimming in polka-dot styles this year, for instance: bows and ruffles, and spumoni flavored, and this comfy looking tankini halter, equally perfect for volleyball or a picnic.

Old Navy hasn't yet come out with their summer styles yet, but you can get this green string top for only $4.99, which should be paired with black boy-shorts or these green and white numbers. A bikini for under ten bucks? That's cheapo, but with Old Navy you usually get what you pay for, so be forewarned.

And Nordy's has a polka-dot tankini set in stark black and white that makes me dream about being poolside at some Palm Springs bungalow, wearing dark cat-eyes under a floppy white chapeau, baking on a chaise-lounge and maybe sipping a fruity concoction served up by that nicely-tanned-yet-not-too-bright young poolboy that occasionally wanders in and out of my fantasies. You know, the one with the perfect abs? Whew.

i hope we're all thankfully over last summerÂ’s bandeau craze. The demise of that silly fad was undoubtedly hastened by the unfortunate Kirsten Dunst unveiling of 2004. Not only was the bandeau top impractical, it wasn't very flattering either. Although they're not for everybody, halters will take over this summer, and the good news is that they're practically impervious to unintended incidents of Dunstation. Here's a hella cute retro gingham pattern.

Venus calls boy-shorts "hot shorts." Like Jessica, i prefer a low rise version with drawstring. Solid color boy-shorts are very versatile and great to match with a triangle top or tankini. Carabella does the boy-short thing with stripes and polka-dots, and these low rise O'Neills prove that you can look super sexy without being too cheeky.

As for beads, i'm seeing them on the ends of string-ties, but also as a decorative accent. i think this bikini is gorgeous, but i don't like the idea of spending $150 on something i'd be afraid to get wet. Ujena turns the beads into a belt.

One final warning. i have a sneaky suspicion, since the movie is coming out this summer, that we might see some Daisy Duke inspired swimwear on the racks. i think my visitors are sophisticated enough to know this already, but let me just say it outright: Anything Daisy Duke is by its very nature cheesy and is to be worn only at halloween.

Posted by: annika at 12:01 AM | Comments (8) | Add Comment
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January 10, 2005

An Amazing Feat Of Blogging...

Jeff at Beautiful Atrocities posts a "Foot Fetishist's Guide to the Blogosphere."

And there's a very familiar set of sexy pointy boots, too!

Hat tip to Victor for the alert.

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January 06, 2005

Fashion Disaster Alert

Jennifer skewers haute-couture over at Demure Thoughts. Good stuff.

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October 27, 2004

Fash-ism Tutorial For The Maximum Leader

The Maximum Leader had a really cute post yesterday, where he confessed to a certain confusion regarding my Fash-ism shoe poll on the sidebar.

Something has been bothering your Maximum Leader for WEEKS now about Annika's site. That damned Fash-ism poll near the top of the sidebar. What the hell are some of those things?

Your Maximum Leader knows they are all footwear. He understands basic pumps and boots. But what for the love of your Maximum Leader are: Mary Janes, d'Orsay pumps, t-straps (which sound quite sexy btw), peep toes, slingbacks, strappy sandals (which sound sexy in a granola-crunchy-Greatful-Dead-chicka way), kitten slides, and mules (which don't sound sexy at all).

. . .

So your Maximum Leader asks you... What are these other things?

Your Maximum Leader will inquire of Annika as well. But he is befuddled.

Well, for the last word on women's fashion, especially footwear, i should refer all inquiries to the girls at Candied Ginger, who are the real experts. But, i thought that i might be able to help Maximum Leader out in my own way, with the following tutorial, complete with visual aids. i was unable to find enough examples solely from my own closet, since it's a complete mess, and half of my shoes are still back at my parents (including a very fine example of the t-strap pump). At any rate, what i didn't have, i googled. So read on, and learn, dear Maximum Leader: more...

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September 02, 2004

annika's journal Shop Update

Cafepress has changed the style of t-shirt they use for their shops. Now you can buy an annika's journal white t-shirt in the fabulous new Hanes Authentic Tagless Tee style! Also available in classy ash gray for a more subdued look.

With these new t-shirts by Cafepress, my merchandise is flying off the shelves as fast as it ever has!

Really.

Anyways, i hope this ringing semi-endorsement will help boost my sales.

Posted by: annika at 06:35 PM | Comments (2) | Add Comment
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July 27, 2004

The New Anna?

i'm pleased to hear that Maria Sharapova is supplanting Anna Kournikova as a feminine icon of beauty and talent. That's because Maria's got game. Anna has a good bod and a flashy lifestyle, but even i could probably beat her on the court once out of every ten games. Maria, a Wimbledon champion at seventeen, seems to be the complete package:

Maria Sharapova, dressed head to toe in Louis Vuitton on Sunday evening, looked every inch a future fashion icon.

. . .

She chose a gold lamé mini-dress with gauzy underskirt, gold snakeskin platform shoes and a turquoise, monogrammed evening bag. It was a brave decision but one that any 17-year-old with model good looks could easily pull off.

. . .

Nick Cox, fashion editor at Harpers & Queen, agrees that her look is perfect for fashion campaigns. 'Sharapova is classically beautiful, but she's also a blank canvas. You could manipulate her to look youthful or sexy or more glamorous and grown-up and that is the kind of versatility that fashion labels would look for. Anna Kournikova is quite limited because she has a prettier, sexy look. But Sharapova is much more sophisticated.'

And, at least up until now, Maria seems more down to earth than Anna turned out to be. Of course, that might all go out the window after the estimated ten to one hundred million pounds in endorsements starts rolling in. As a model, i think she could easily earn the same kind of money and attention that Anna enjoys, but i hope Maria resists that easy temptation and keeps pushing her game.

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June 02, 2004

Swimwear Poll Data

Not pool, poll.

i'm pleased to find that The Sacramento Bee is not afraid to tackle the big issues that are foremost on the minds of Californians. Here's some interesting data:

Lands' End catalog and online clothing company recently completed a survey of more than 1,000 women ages 18 and older. One-third wished for a multipurpose suit; two-thirds say they spend their summer doing a lot more than sunbathing.

. . .

[A] swimsuit, unlike a tube of lipstick, is anything but an impulse purchase. A lot of thinking goes into the buying. According to the NPD Group, a market research firm, nearly 70 percent of women make an outing of it.

. . .

[S]even out of 10 women own a two-piece bathing suit, designers recognize the average woman is still a size 14, so teeny-weeny bikinis, while great on the young, aren't as suitable for the young at heart.

. . .

'Believe it or not, one out of five women say they do yardwork or garden in their suits,' Thorson says. 'About 28 percent exercise in them.'

. . .

Venus Swimwear in Florida is 98 percent mail-order and online shopping, Randolph sees interesting demographics on what suits sell from coast to coast.

'East Coast goes more for a midrise, standard bottom; West Coast buyers opt for a retro, low-rise, California surfer-girl bottom.'

. . .

[T]hree out of four women spend less than $50 for a single swimsuit, most on sale. Two out of five expect it to last two years.

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May 19, 2004

Oops i Did It Again?

One of the running themes of my work life, my leitmotif if you will, is the "firmwide e-mail regarding dress code violations." i have been the unnamed cause of two such e-mails in the past, at two different offices, and it seems i may have become the inspiration for yet another at my present workplace.

i can't be sure though. My dress has become much more professional as my job responsibilities have increased. Still, on the occasion of this morning's e-mail, i decided to do a thorough examination of conscience, just to be sure.


O great and powerful H.R. person. It has been one and a half years since my last confession. Since then, i have . . .

Let me see that list . . .

Beachwear: Is that like a bikini? Okay. i'm good. i hope i have enough sense to know that i can't wear a bikini to work.

Halter tops: i'm okay there too. Unless you count company picnics.

Tank Tops: Oops. Maybe on a casual Friday or two.

Shorts: Shit. You got me there. i had no idea shorts were illegal. But i've only been wearing them on Fridays.

Severe Mini-Skirts: Define severe? Is that like leather?

Shirts with offensive language or slogans: You mean like Bush/Cheney 2004?

Flip Flops or Sandals: Guilty on both counts.

Leggings, Tights, Stirrup Pants: Nope. But you might want to walk down the hall and check out what a certain heiffer is wearing today.

Capri Pants, Pedal Pushers, or Flood Pants: Shit, those are out too? i love capris! And as for flood pants, go check out the I.S. guy, for Pete's sake.

Backless or Strapless Clothing: Come on. i'm not that much of a tart.

Sweat, Warm-Up, Jogging Suits or Workout Attire: Go check out the heiffer tomorrow.

Hats, Caps: Only on days that the Lakers play.

Denim shirts: i'm good.

T-shirts or sweatshirts: Only on casual day.

Midriff tops or sweaters: Okay, i push the envelope a bit on this one. But it's hard finding a top that doesn't creep up just a little as the day goes on.

Stone washed or severely faded denim pants or skirts: Not me. Come on, the eighties are so over.

Spandex: Don't make me laugh.

Overalls/jumpers: Only on days when i plan to do carpentry. Or play on the jungle gym. Gimme a break.

Painter or cargo pants: i've been known to wear cargo pants, and for that i'm sorry.

Workout attire, bike pants: i wouldn't need the extra padding of bike shorts if the chairs in the lunch room were more comfortable. Just kidding. i'd never.

Work/combat boots: LOL, no.

Sneaker/tennis/athletic shoes: Guilty.

Excessive jewelry: Do the tongue and belly studs count?

Stained, ripped, torn or wrinkled clothing: Not at all.

See through clothing: You mean i can't wear this outfit?

Low cut clothing: Not me. i have nothing to show off. You might want to take a look at the receptionist, though. That is if you can see past the crowd of male associates surrounding her.

Sunglasses in the building: Maybe once or twice after a hard night.

O great and benevolent H.R. person, i am heartily sorry for having offended thee. And i detest all my dress code violations because of thy just punishment. But most of all, because they offend thy delicate sensibilities, O great H.R. wench, who art all prude and needs to get a life. i firmly resolve, with the help of thy firm-wide e-mails, to violate the dress code no more, and to avoid the near occasion of style.

Amen.

Posted by: annika at 09:45 AM | Comments (9) | Add Comment
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May 13, 2004

My Zen Moment

 
 

Think about shoes.*

 
 
 
 

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Think.

 
 
 
 

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About.

 
 
 
 

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Pretty.

 
 
 
 

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Shoes.

 
 
 
 

i do feel so much better now.

 

* A much needed contemplative moment inspired by the girls at Candied Ginger.

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Even Brittany's Got One!

Meet my newest fan: the American Skankwoman.

Brittany knows what fash-ism is all about. That's why she sports an annika's journal Trucker Hat whenever she hits up the Circle-K for some after-romp Cheetos and a pack of smokes! Nothing says "i'm a foul-mouthed, chain-smoking blonde who loves junk food and sex" quite like an annie's j Trucker Hat!

brithat2.jpg

Wanna be like Brit? Visit my cafepress.com shop. No, don't just visit - Buy something! Get a bunch of stuff for yourself and don't forget, annika's journal merch makes a great gift.

Father's Day is coming up and you know my blog is a big hit with dads. An annika's journal Mug or Trivet would make the perfect gift. It's the least you could do for the guy who paid for all the beer you drank in college. Even if he thought you were spending it on books.

Don't you have a dog? i bet Rover would love playing catch with an annika's journal Flat Round Thing That You Throw. It'll provide good exercise for your puppy - nobody likes a fat dog (except Brittany fans, of course).

Guys, have you run out of gift ideas for the girlfriend? No girl says no to a nulla puella negat Cami. She'll either slap you or kiss you - or possibly both.

Did you miss Mother's day? If you did, you'd better make it up to her right now with a vastly overpriced, but highly artistic Burghers of Calais Abstract Lunchbox. She'll love it so much, she might actually forgive you. Then again maybe not.

Posted by: annika at 12:01 AM | Comments (10) | Add Comment
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March 05, 2004

Spring Is Here

And i have nothing to wear.

Reading Candied Ginger, i saw Candace's pretty pink stilettos, which inevitably made me think about shopping. My roommate told me that Southern California has most likely finished its yearly week of rain and we can expect summer weather very soon. And all i have are sweaters and last year's tired t-shirts. i need a shopping trip now.

That train of thought led me to the internet, where i could do some preliminary vetting in preparation for tomorrow's binge fest. (The firm's bonuses were handed out today. When i looked at mine, i did a mini Dean yell.) The beginning of spring means new flip-flops, as Lorie pointed out weeks ago. And flip-flop shopping means Old Navy.

But wait, Polo is having a sale. What? Scalloped edged tees? And shorts, need shorts, must buy shorts. Even after eight months of living down here, my wardrobe is too San Francisky. My excellent selection of sweaters has become superfluous.

So, tomorrow's itinerary includes the old standbys: Banana Republic, Old Navy, And Nordstrom, where i wouldn't mind checking this lovely item out for size. Mmm-hmm.

Posted by: annika at 12:48 PM | Comments (3) | Add Comment
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February 22, 2004

Some Good News On The Fashion Front

Finally, i can report something that makes me happy about the direction of society. Even if it seems like a small thing.

Pretty is back.

Being feminine is back in style, and classic notions of prettiness are dictating the look for spring. Gone are the micro-minis and 'Matrix'-inspired vamps. Instead we have elegant floral-print frocks and terrific dresses with big skirts, dip dyes and scads of chiffon in saturated Technicolor that recall an era when, for better or worse, glamour was a way of life.
Could it be that the designers are finally getting it? Women like to be women. Welcome chiffon, flower prints, pastels, glamourous curves. Welcome femininity. Maria Nero and Tree have the right idea. So do Richard Tyler and Cynthia Vincent at times. Still, i'm not willing to part with my roach killers just yet. Chiffon and roach killers? Hmmm.

Posted by: annika at 10:42 AM | Comments (1) | Add Comment
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