What was this guy thinking?

A Romanian father-of-five needed medical help after he superglued a condom to his penis.

Nicolae Popovici, 43, told doctors he didn't want any more children, reports National newspaper.

The man, from Topraiser in Constanta county, named only as NP in the paper, already has five children.

He and his wife decided to use contraception but the condom they bought was too big so he stuck it on with glue.

After sex, the man realised he couldn't remove the condom and went to his village's medical clinic for help.

A nurse said: 'He even said that he thought the condom could be used several times and that he wanted it stuck on his penis so he could use it again later. We barely managed to remove it in the end.'

From Ananova.

Posted by: annika at 06:51 AM | Comments (5) | Add Comment
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Not much to add to this story. It's pretty freakin' funny as is:

Kimberly Guilfoyle Newsom took the stage at Thursday night's big Empire State Pride Agenda fund-raiser.

Guilfoyle Newsom was a last-minute sub for her husband at the gay rights event, which drew 1,100 guests. By all accounts, Guilfoyle Newsom -- who lives in New York and is a regular on Court TV -- gave an inspired speech.

But what really brought the house down was when she started talking about her hubby.

'I know that many of you wanted to see my husband and some of you had questions out there,' Guilfoyle Newsom said.

'Is he hot? Yeah.

'Is he hung? Yeah.

'Is he (she waved her hand to suggest bisexual)? Not unless you can give a better (she mimicked eating a banana) than me,' Guilfoyle Newsom said.

From SFGate.

Update: Here, Bill and Gavin seem to disagree on what the definition of "hung" is.

Posted by: annika at 10:20 AM | Comments (1) | Add Comment
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Is the following a joke, or is it serious? Probably both.

From a site called College Sex Advice comes this:

The Freshman Sex Diet

The dreaded Freshman Fifteen - those infamous extra pounds that new college arrivals inevitably pack on. This weight gain typically results from a diet of dorm food, pizza parties, keggers, and junk-food fueled all-nighters, coupled with reduced physical activity. Luckily there is a fun and easy solution that can keep you in shape - have sex!

Sex is great exercise and it's more fun than going to the gym. Sex is good for your circulation, improves aerobic fitness by increasing heart rate and respiration, and exercises many major muscle groups. Each time you have sex, you burn between 100 to 300 calories per hour, depending on how vigorously you go at it. If you can't find a partner, don't worry; masturbation burns calories too.

To get the most fitness value out of sex, be sure to include lot of different activities in your session . . . To spot-tone problem areas of the body, here are some specific exercises you can do during sex. Your partner doesn't even need to know that you're working out while you screw. Try to avoid counting reps under your breath - it could spoil the mood.

Chilling in front of the TV is prime snacking time for lots of folks. Same goes for listening to music or watching movies. Next time you settle down in front of the tube, instead of reaching into that bag of chips, reach down your pants and spank the monkey or pet your kitty. If you're with friends, don't be shy; try to get them in on the act too.

Umm, Ohhh-kay . . .

My days at Cal were pretty wild, but i think any guy who tried that, even at Berkeley, would've gotten a different kind of beat-down pretty quickly, and often.

i don't know. Has college changed that much since i was a freshman?

Link via Life of Brian.

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It was so funny listening to Bob Costas talking about the Greek island of Lesbos tonight on the Olympics broadcast. He totally skipped over the one question that had half of America giggling. i can imagine all the Beavis and Butthead imitations going on in living rooms across the country: "huh-huh... he said lesbos... huh-huh."

Yes, strictly speaking, a lesbian is what you call someone from Lesbos. So how did that word become transformed into a gay moniker? And what does that have to do with poetry day? Read on:

The most famous lesbian of all was the classical Greek poetess Sappho, who lived in the seventh century B.C. She ran a school for girls on Lesbos that was sort of the artistic hippie commune of its day. She was such a revered poet that people called her "the tenth muse."

Sappho wrote a series of beautiful lyric poetry that survives only in fragments. It was written on stone tablets, which broke over the years and many of the pieces are missing. The only thing left of much of Sappho's work is a line here and a line there, leaving only glimpses of some romantic and evocative poetry, now lost forever.

Some of Sappho's poem fragments have been interpreted as evidence that she was indeed a lesbian, in both senses of the word. Thus the modern meaning of "lesbian." Although there is still some dispute about whether Sappho really liked girls or whether it was more of a sisterly thing she was writing about.

Sappho's poems have consistently resisted translation into English in a way that reveals their beauty to the non-Greek speaker. Or so i'm told. i took Latin, not Greek in high school, so i'll just have to take the poetry scholars' word for it.

Mary Barnard's recent translation is very nice, although i'm not sure how faithful it is to the original. Today's poem is an especially pretty translation by Barnard, which seems to be from a more intact fragment.

Yes, Atthis, you may be sure

          Even in Sardis
Anactoria will think often of us
of the life we shared here,

          when you seemed
the Goddess incarnate
to her and your singing
          pleased her best

Now among Lydian women she in her
turn stands first as the red-
fingered moon rising at sunset takes

precedence over stars around her;
her light spreads equally
on the salt sea and fields thick with bloom

Delicious dew pours down to freshen
roses, delicate thyme,
and blossoming sweet clover; she wanders

aimlessly, thinking of gentle
Atthis, her heart hanging
heavy with longing in her little breast

She shouts aloud, Come! we know it;
thousand-eared night repeats that cry
across the sea shining between us

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On his radio show tonight, Alan Colmes mentioned the website of a new liberal propaganda tool called "Fuck the Vote" The site is absolutely not work safe, so here's the idea, in their own words:

SEXY LIBERALS OF THE U.S. UNITE in taking back the government from the sexually repressed, right-wing, zealots in control! Everyone knows liberals are hotter than conservatives - we look hotter, we dress hotter, our ideas are hotter, and we are infinitely hotter in the sack. We must use this to our advantage - as one more weapon in a diverse arsenal to strip the conservatives of their power (by stripping them of their clothes first).

Believe it or not, even the most seemingly deeply rooted right-wing ideologue can be manipulated by sex. As we all know, the sex drive is a powerful beast that has the potential to change people. People lie for sex, they cheat for sex, they even kill for sex - and you can be sure that they will change the way they think (and therefore vote) for sex. All you need to be armed with are your sexy progressive values, a razor-sharp wit, your genitalia, and a mindset that doesn't mind taking one for the team.

At Fuck The Vote we provide a Pledge Sheet that can be used conveniently before becoming physically intimate with a conservative, The Pledge Sheet asks the signee to make a promise to vote for anyone but George Bush in the November election. FTV has not endorsed a single candidate but recommends strategic voting. We also encourage FTV fans to take road trips this summer to swing(er) states to collect pledges. If you collect a pledge let us know about it on the Swinger States page! Have safe fun fucking over Bush while fucking for votes.

So, why not have a conservative version of this thing? Using the liberal pledge as a template, it might go something like this:

I, the undersigned, pledge my vote for George W. Bush on November 2, 2004 in return for getting laid by a hot freaky conservative.

I understand that this pledge is a symbol of good faith that I will cast my vote for a strong, safe and vibrant America, for a president who will stand up straight and tall for the values that make this country great, who will defend this country rigidly as we plunge forward into the future, and for a tax policy that stimulates growth by pumping more and more money into the private sector again and again and again. I further promise that i will not vote for candidates who promise a flaccid foreign policy or a limp and disappointing economic plan.

Posted by: annika at 08:49 PM | Comments (12) | Add Comment
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1 Awesonme! I found this and mentioned it on my blog the other day...but not with your twist!

Posted by: Jennifer at July 14, 2004 10:58 PM (Wr1uX)

2 I'm still undecided. I might vote for Kerry, but a hot freaky conservative could influence me to pull the lever for Bush (so to speak).

Posted by: d-rod at July 15, 2004 07:57 AM (6lzRE)

3 Oh, I could tell you some things about what some liberals do in bed... ah, the memories. But then I became a good Christian boy, put away the piercings, and worked hard at repressing all that energy!

Posted by: Hugo at July 15, 2004 08:54 AM (9ndHD)

4 I'm sure both of these plans will be just as effective in influencing this year's election as the Lysistrata Project was in influencing last year's policy in Iraq.

Posted by: Xrlq at July 15, 2004 10:48 AM (k4RhX)

5 Is that their mission statement or did they copy if from the intro to My Life?

Posted by: Stephen Macklin at July 15, 2004 11:38 AM (UquFN)

6 well, in their defense, the "anyone but bush" motto could have some perks...

Posted by: candace at July 15, 2004 12:58 PM (hZHYA)

7 My boyfriend is a Conservative. Hot and rockin', he is.

Posted by: Amy at July 15, 2004 02:46 PM (RpVKX)

8 Where do I sign?

Posted by: Desert Cat at July 15, 2004 10:46 PM (c8BHE)

9 I can't wait to "get laid by a hot freaky conservative", but I have to wait for him to get back from Iraq first...

Posted by: Sarah at July 17, 2004 06:49 AM (vMhet)

10 I'd sure like to tell some conservative I'd vote for Bush and then exploit them...where do I sign up?

Posted by: Chuck at August 11, 2004 01:57 PM (uftg2)

11 The phrase "hot freaky conservative" shall now be stuck in my mind for the next weeks. (Kinda like the words "widgets," "greenacre," and "due diligence" from the law school days.)

Posted by: Mark at September 08, 2004 05:15 PM (Vg0tt)

12 The phrase "hot freaky conservative" shall now be stuck in my mind for the next 2 weeks. (Kinda like the words "widgets," "greenacre," and "due diligence" from the law school days.)

Posted by: Mark at September 08, 2004 05:15 PM (Vg0tt)

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Here's a great idea for getting rich. Actually, it's not a new idea. It's really a very old idea. It used to be called whoring. Now, you just add blogging, politics, and a ghost writer, then wait a year or so for the big cash advance.

In May 26-year-old Jessica Cutler was fired by Senator Mike DeWine, an Ohio Republican, from her $25,000-a-year job sorting mail in his office after she was discovered using the Senate computer to write a blog that supposedly chronicled her sexual exploits with six unidentified Washington men, including one she described as a prominent appointee of the Bush administration. Now Ms. Cutler has taken what, for generations of young women who have become involved with the powerful, has been the next logical step. She has become a writer. Yesterday she sold a novel based on her exploits to HyperionDisney (Walt). Her agent, Michael Carlisle of Carlisle & Company, said the price was "a substantial six figures," and Hyperion would not be more specific. Not only did he sell her novel, he said, but she will also pose nude for the November issue of Playboy. Ms. Cutler's novel will be called "The Washingtonienne," after the name of her blog. Mr. Carlisle said that Ms. Cutler would not speak to the press until the book was published, perhaps a year from now.

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Hugo had a great post on Monday about the number. Curiously, it generated no comments. Then tonight, a local radio talk show host named John Ziegler did a segment on the number. One caller made the point that women always lie about theirs, and i would agree. Whether it's inflated or under-stated, women tend to fudge the number in conversation.

i have this urge to reveal my own number, my true number, not because i'm either proud or ashamed of it, but because it's a topic that people have been talking about lately, and therefore a good subject for blogging. Also, it might be an excellent way to generate hits. Still, i'm reluctant to just blurt out my number. Even though this is my blog and one point of having a blog is to enable complete honesty, i do have a minor amount of tact left.

Then i thought, what if it were a meme? How's about this for a blog meme: Visitors try to guess the blogger's number and if anyone guesses correctly within a reasonable time, say before midnight, the blogger has to post a picture of her ass.

Part of me asks: is this a good idea? Another part of me says, what the hell, i'm curious what y'all think of me. And what i lack in tact, i can always make up in tackiness.

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1 six ...and this is for you: http://www.pinocchia.com/galleries/showgallery.asp?galleryID=40

Posted by: Rick at May 26, 2004 01:23 AM (cCRym)

2 Eight. There's nothing wrong with reading junk and comic books; only then can you learn to appreciate true literature and great writing. So it is with this stuff; if you have nothing to compare it with, you never know if what you finally choose is the right choice. Send me the picture.

Posted by: shelly s. at May 26, 2004 02:24 AM (0GNJF)

3 Hmm, since you didn't say how many guesses we get apiece... 1,2,3,4,5,6,7,8,9,10,11,12,13,14,15,16,17,18,19,20,21,22,23,24,25,26,27,28,29,30,31,32,33,34,35,36,37,38,39,40,etc... I'm positive it's a two digit number. I'm doubtful the first digit is a 3 or higher but I'm not at all certain the first digit is greater than 0. I'll guess firmly at 24. My not so firm second (actually third) guess would be 17. But I wouldn't be surprised if the number was around 11. & I assume we're only counting those that were aware of what was happening? (I've heard about you big city women & your wicked ways - unfortunately noone sent pics.) But if I or anyone else is right, then why would our reward be showing a picture of a donkey? I mean hell Annika - I didn't even know you owned livestock. thought they outlawed all private property in Cali a while back - especially animals. Well the pic at least be of you riding the poor little over-regulated critter? Course next I would expect a contest to see who can guess about your swallowing habits: African or European.

Posted by: Publicola at May 26, 2004 05:13 AM (Aao25)

4 I say 12. Jason H. Austin, Texas

Posted by: Jason H at May 26, 2004 06:58 AM (yDD8m)

5 Not a bad idea for a meme. It's always good to know the whore quotient of a blog. I think that's an exact quote from Sen. Mike DeWine, come to think of it. As for your number, I can tell you are an angel, so I'm going to guess 0. Unless of course you're married. Then I guess 1. (Always give the benefit of the doubt.)

Posted by: GE at May 26, 2004 07:20 AM (waQOJ)

6 A gentleman doesn't presume anything about a lady's past. He also is never shocked by a number that is higher than his.

Posted by: Hugo at May 26, 2004 09:18 AM (9ndHD)

7 Hugo has the answer.. to all of life's mysteries!

Posted by: Madfish Willie at May 26, 2004 09:31 AM (rQ9MS)

8 I forgot to ask, in this Clintonian day and age, does oral sex now count? Jason H.

Posted by: Jason H at May 26, 2004 09:42 AM (yDD8m)

9 Two. You're a good girl!

Posted by: david at May 26, 2004 10:03 AM (Q4I4P)

10 Seven.

Posted by: ken at May 26, 2004 10:57 AM (1VDSY)

11 Virtually knowing you less than a year, I'll just say TWENTY. (slap/ouch, okay SIX...)

Posted by: d-rod at May 26, 2004 12:56 PM (CSRmO)

12 Oops sorry, I see Rick already said SIX. Make my second choice NINETEEN.

Posted by: d-rod at May 26, 2004 01:07 PM (CSRmO)

13 I warned you about Joe Kennedy. You should keep him reserved when he pitches in Colorado.

Posted by: gturk at May 26, 2004 01:20 PM (8xavh)

14 Oral does not count. God, no.

Posted by: annika! at May 26, 2004 02:14 PM (zAOEU)

15 I've found that the women who you'd think have a high number ususally don't. They like the image of being footloose and fancy free, but deep down don't actually want to be that. Purity is something that women still seem to struggle with in a much more substantial level than the openness of society would suggest, and that's why you get the number fudging. So, I don't think the number is that high. I'll tell you my number if you want, if that makes you feel more comfortable...

Posted by: Neil Uchitel at May 26, 2004 02:32 PM (0PTwh)

16 So, when do we get the picture?

Posted by: shelly s. at May 26, 2004 02:52 PM (b/7hi)

17 I'll say four serios relationships, and one vaction fling. Maybe two. Five or Six.

Posted by: The Agnostic at May 26, 2004 05:32 PM (h4C4X)

18 Now that we've cleared up the BJ thing, does the football team count as one, or 47?

Posted by: Casca at May 26, 2004 07:13 PM (q+PSF)

19 16, nobody got it. too bad.

Posted by: annika! at May 27, 2004 09:47 AM (zAOEU)

20 Dammit!

Posted by: d-rod at May 27, 2004 10:51 AM (CSRmO)

21 Whew. Glad that it's settled without anyone being able to crow.

Posted by: Hugo at May 27, 2004 11:30 AM (ZpV+R)

22 Actually, Publicola got it. Take a look--it's right there between "15" and "17."

Posted by: Victor at May 27, 2004 12:34 PM (bQa9J)

23 total = 3. good = 1.

Posted by: dan at May 27, 2004 05:05 PM (gs6lZ)

24 What a slut!

Posted by: The Agnostic at May 28, 2004 04:09 PM (iL5jU)

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Really, what the heck does it mean?

Remember the last time we saw it?

Humility Update: i continue to be perplexed by the blogosphere's lack of response to my own brilliant, satirical photoshopping efforts, which in my humble opinion are consistently freakin' hilarious. Many thanks to Rick and Kevin for the comments. Otherwise i'd be wondering if my site was down today.

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Yes they did. And this Ananova story informs us that a prostate professor is "particularly proud of the pickled penis."

Well, who wouldn't be proud of a penis that gives rise to inflated comments like the following:

"Napoleon's penis is but a small pod - it cannot stand comparison to our organ of 30 centimetres."

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Don't we all?

That's a text-sex quote from David Beckham, star of the kick-ball team Real Madrid. i'm not a big kick-ball fan, but i am curious as to how Beck can accomplish those things without using his hands.

Beck is a Sinatra fan too, i see. He also cracks on Singaporean men, how rude.

Alerted to this bit of naughtiness by Breanagh McTavish.

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Two Houston middle school students caught in flagrante delicto.

There were five students total in the classroom at the time. They were in a class that was supposed to be under constant adult supervision, but when the teacher left, two of those students allegedly started doing something that has no place inside a school.

. . .

When an adult finally came back, two kids were allegedly having oral sex.

. . .

'They should punish, whatever they need to do, as far as the person that's involved in the situation,' said parent Patricia Western. 'That's outrageÂ… Very outraged that it would take place in a school.'

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1 nicely done Annie.. btw, how come no reaction to the meet the press interview of w? love ya coyote

Posted by: coyote at February 09, 2004 09:33 AM (cfoFZ)

2 Maybe I'm missing the point you're trying to make. The big deal is that there's acceptable behavior based on where you're at, and that wasn't it. At best it was poor judgement on the kid's part.

Posted by: Ted at February 09, 2004 09:59 AM (blNMI)

3 Sorry Ted, i agree with you. i should have used the [sarcasm][/sarcasm] tags. Coyote, i didn't see the interview as i didn't pay attention to the news this weekend.

Posted by: annika! at February 09, 2004 10:11 AM (zAOEU)

4 What's wrong with these rutting humanoids? That's what the stalls in the Ladies Room are for.

Posted by: Radical Redneck at February 09, 2004 12:35 PM (CAJPz)

5 I'm usually not that dense. Uh, don't ask my wife...

Posted by: Ted at February 10, 2004 07:43 AM (blNMI)

6 No one just "has" oral sex. I would bet the farm that the boy was not "pleasuring" the girl. What the rage for oral sex among young kids is really about is an exploitation of young girls who are taught that to keep boys around, they need to be ready to offer them pleasure any time, any where. If it were genuinely loving and reciprocal, I would have less of a problem with it, but as I said, the mortgage more or less could be bet on it being neither.

Posted by: Hugo at February 10, 2004 08:59 AM (gGPcB)

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She does wear her hair like me, though.

Innocent


What's your sexual appeal?
brought to you by Quizilla

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This appears to be the week for me to blog about nipples, seen or unseen.

Kevin's Wizbang is the place to go for pictures of Janet Jackson's boob and what i now know is a "nipple shield," not a pastie or a piece of tape as some have suggested. That's fucking sick. And i say that as someone with a pierced tongue. Anybody who thought that Janet might be the only normal one in that family . . . think again.

Oh, by the way, i was named Wizbang's Blog of the Day. Thanks Kevin! (Let me know if that PayPal bribe didn't go through.)

And, in reference to my previous nipple related post, where Brant commented that he thought Brittany's nips were lower than normal due to a botched implant job, lookie here. Kin, posting at Jen's has the photographic proof, not only of the American Skankwoman's augmentation, but also of the below the equator orientation of her little nippies. Good work Kin!

Update: Ginger opines on Nip Slippage.

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1 I, ummm, don't feel comfortable hammering on other peoples' piercable bits. Some would say that my piercing is pretty icky, too.

Posted by: zombyboy at February 02, 2004 12:00 AM (X7Bhq)

2 Have you seen the site that traces Britney's evolution from A-cup to C (and maybe D) cup - and back again? Her boobies vary over time. Maybe the girls got inflatable implants...

Posted by: Pixy Misa at February 02, 2004 06:06 AM (jtW2s)

3 So Annika, in honor of your nipple-blogging week, what are the odds of you posting a topless pic. You know not that I'm asking for gratuitous nudity or anything. I'm just thinking theme here, and what better way to get it going.. Just a suggestion.. I'm thinking logos, promotion, corporate sponsors.. 'Annika's boob week'. I could be huge.. I'm gonna get banned now, huh?

Posted by: Rob at February 02, 2004 08:00 AM (QDVwP)

4 So Annika, in honor of your nipple-blogging week, what are the odds of you posting a topless pic. You know not that I'm asking for gratuitous nudity or anything. I'm just thinking theme here, and what better way to get it going.. Just a suggestion.. I'm thinking logos, promotion, corporate sponsors.. 'Annika's boob week'. It could be huge.. I'm gonna get banned now, huh?

Posted by: Rob at February 02, 2004 08:01 AM (QDVwP)

5 A stupid comment, and it double posted. I suck.

Posted by: rob at February 02, 2004 08:02 AM (QDVwP)

6 In the immortal words of Patsy on AbFab... "Accident, sweetie".

Posted by: d-rod at February 02, 2004 10:40 AM (CSRmO)

7 Three times is the charm?

Posted by: annika at February 02, 2004 11:04 AM (zAOEU)

8 Annie- just curious, if you really get down to it, just how is it that a nipple shield is that much different than a spike through your tongue? i asked my little sister why she got her tongue pierced and she said to me, "there is only ONE reason to do it, and if you don't know what that is, i'm not gonna tell ya" body modification is a very personal thing, and many people do many seemingly odd things for reasons only known to them. does that really make them sick or perverted? i'm not so sure. i'd never judge you for that sort of thing (hell, i think it's sexy) but i think you might be exhibiting a bit of intolerance on this one. i do still luv ya though arf coyote arf coyote

Posted by: coyote at February 02, 2004 11:09 AM (cfoFZ)

9 "body modification is a very personal thing, and many people do many seemingly odd things for reasons only known to them. does that really make them sick or perverted?" Not necessarily, but in the case any member of the Jacko family, the answer is yes. Seriously 'Yote, i do have my preferences where body art is concerned. i pierced my tongue, my nose and my navel. But i wouldn't pierce my nips, too sensitive. i dated a couple of guys with pierced nips and i did find that a bit sexy. i dated guys with pierced tongues too. That was, um, different. About half of my friends have pierced tongues, too. What you see as intolerance is just a matter of aesthetic taste for me. A guy with a little ring on his nip is sexy, if he has the attitude to match, but i don't think lip rings are attractive in any circumstance. i'm ambivalent about eyebrow piercing on either sex. What's the point of that? i like tattoos, but i think a big hunkin sun tat on the tummy is ugly. i have no prob with nip piercing, per se, but attaching a shield is overdoing it, in my opinion. It makes me cringe to think what would happen if that material had gotten caught on one of the spikes when Justin pulled it off. Yeeoow.

Posted by: annika at February 02, 2004 03:35 PM (zAOEU)

10 ok Annie- i must have just misread "That's fucking sick" and "Anyone who thought that Janet might the only normal one in that family... think again." my bad. ;-) coyote

Posted by: coyote at February 02, 2004 04:10 PM (cfoFZ)

11 Annika: Did I call that or what? Poor woman. You have to pity someone who spends all that money on a boob job and then her nips point not only down, but in different directions.

Posted by: Brant at February 02, 2004 05:31 PM (WfQGW)

12 I think I'm gonna follow Rob's lead and make this into a world wide effort. Think of it as Girls Gone Wild:Spring Blog '04 Show your tits!

Posted by: Kin at February 04, 2004 11:22 AM (IDa3v)

13 Have you ever had a wardrobe malfunction, annika?

Posted by: d-rod at February 05, 2004 06:20 PM (GNk2j)

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For a spicy theatrical experience, come to Chile!

Update: Newman links to another Chile related story:

Men and women, most of them in their 20s, poured onto a cordoned-off street in central Santiago, ChileÂ’s capital, to smooch for at least 10 seconds in a bid to set a world record for the largest number of people kissing simultaneously.

. . .

With more than 4,400 kissing couples, the Chileans easily eclipsed the current Guinness World Records mark set in February 2000 in Sarnia, Ontario, Canada, when 1,588 pairs locked lips.

Chile, one of Latin AmericaÂ’s most socially conservative nations, began showing a more exhibitionist bent last year when over 3,000 people turned up on the same street to be photographed naked on a cold winter morning.

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