For some odd reason, i'm getting IMs and comments from people who think i am Lindsay Lohan. It's all due to that humorous piece i did a few weeks back. My guess is that it's attracting google hits and of course Lindsay Lohan fans are not the swiftest bananas in the bunch. i got this french guy sending me IMs in french every day. i have no idea what he's saying but tonight he says, in English: "you are Lindsay Lohan."

Well, i'm not, but i'm willing to pretend if it will fuck with a Frenchie's head for shits and giggles. Ha-ha.

Posted by: annika at 10:54 PM | No Comments | Add Comment
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Speaking of time travellers, this story via Reuters:

A Czech tractor driver died under eight tons of manure in a bizarre accident that has baffled his employers, local media reported.

Posted by: annika at 10:20 AM | Comments (5) | Add Comment
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Well, this story leaves out the most important detail.

Any ideas?

Posted by: annika at 03:04 PM | Comments (2) | Add Comment
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ABC News continues to outrage me. They're vying for the bottom of the journalistic heap in my book, apparently jealous of CNN and CBS.

Today's misleading web headline disgusted me:

Schindlers, Kevorkian Discuss Schiavo Case

Posted by: annika at 07:53 AM | Comments (3) | Add Comment
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Pollhost censored my poll again. i admit that the Modesto poll was lame, but come on. The only objectionable word in it was meth. It's not like i was encouraging drug use by making fun of Modesto as the meth capital of the San Joaquin Valley. i'm going to have to get used to Pollhost's new zero tolerance approach to anything that in any way might possibly cause someone to raise the slightest objection.

Fuck.

Okay so i got a new poll, go vote in it.

Posted by: annika at 08:08 PM | Comments (4) | Add Comment
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Petula Clark once sang:

Don't sleep in the subway, darlin'.

Don't stand in the pouring rain.

Don't eat in Cheyenne, Wyoming.

Spit that out in the dentist's drain.

Posted by: annika at 01:54 PM | Comments (1) | Add Comment
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By juxtaposing these two photographs, i intend to make no commentary except to point out an uncanny resemblance.

What's up with that?

As they say on Cops, all parties are presumed innocent until proven guilty in a court of law.

Posted by: annika at 09:17 PM | Comments (7) | Add Comment
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LaDonna Davis: "...and then he chomped off my thumb..."

Charlie Gibson: "...you knew right away he was attacking..."

Me: "...Duuuh..."

LaDonna Davis: "...we tried to reason with them..."

Me: "...Duuuh..."

LaDonna Davis: "...I don't know where his thoughts were coming from..."

Me: "...Duuuh..."

LaDonna Davis: "...Everybody's an individual, you have to look for the good. Every being, every animal's an individual..."

Me: "...it's a fucking chimp, dude..."

Posted by: annika at 07:41 AM | Comments (7) | Add Comment
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Always pushing the envelope of efficiency.

Posted by: annika at 12:33 AM | Comments (2) | Add Comment
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Isn't this how the Planet of the Apes began?

Two people were seriously injured and two chimpanzees were shot dead today in Kern County after several chimps broke from their cages at an animal sanctuary and attacked workers.

. . .

Animal Haven employees shot and killed two of the escaped chimpanzees, but two other chimps remain on the loose. Officials say it is unclear how the animals escaped from their cages.

Those chimps could be anywhere by now. Especially if they hijack a car. Be careful out there, and don't trust them treacherous chimps. Frank J. is right. They'll kill you, first chance they get.

Update: We can all breathe easier, the fugitive simians have been recaptured.

Those apes are animals. Literally.

KGET-TV of Bakersfield said the man and woman were at the Animal Haven Ranch to celebrate the birthday of Moe, which was not involved in today's attack.

After the couple arrived with a cake, two other chimpanzees - named Buddy and Ollie - went for the visitors.

Dr Maureen Martin, of Kern Medical Centre, said the apes had chewed most of the man's face off and that he would require extensive surgery in an attempt to reattach his nose.

LaDonna Davis suffered a bite wound to the hand.

Buddy and Ollie were shot and killed. Two other chimps which had also escaped were recaptured - one was cornered three kilometres from the sanctuary, 137kms north of downtown Los Angeles.

Update: i hadn't heard about the dude's nuts getting eaten, until OC Chuck and Papertiger's comments. Ouch. Since both of the above links seem to be broken, here's the ABC News story.

Posted by: annika at 11:30 PM | Comments (8) | Add Comment
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Audrey:

In the end those of us that walk away winning win more than just a loss.

You just lost babe. That made no sense whatsoever.

Posted by: annika at 10:05 PM | Comments (3) | Add Comment
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