just trying to eat my waffles

August 21, 2006

Question #90

[part of a continuing series]

What does "turnkey" mean? I keep hearing it in radio advertisements, referring to a kind of business.

Posted by: annika at 09:09 AM | Comments (14) | Add Comment
Post contains 21 words, total size 1 kb.

1 I believe it means "ready to go" as in just turn the key, open the door and you're ready to start working.

Posted by: DHammett at August 21, 2006 09:17 AM (J7BEJ)

2 Turnkey Business For Sale...... Translation: 1] Get your lawyer to read the contracts. 2] Get your accountant to look at the books.

Posted by: stiknstein at August 21, 2006 09:56 AM (PzMea)

3 It is a product or system that can be plugged in or someone who guards prisoners. I guess…

Posted by: charlie at August 21, 2006 01:42 PM (vcUSw)

4 In real estate, it means the house/condo is ready for occupancy right away, no work needed. In residential real estate, I've noticed it's used loosely.

Posted by: Hugo at August 21, 2006 01:45 PM (Yu24L)

5 Well, two outta three aint bad. At least a third of the people sucking air in this country are fucking morons. Do everyone a favor, and get yourself "fixed" Charlie.

Posted by: Casca at August 21, 2006 01:46 PM (rEC2k)

6 My friend, Matt, went into one of those "turnkey businesses" for a while. He installed small vending machines in businesses and shops. The contractor would supply the machines and candy/soda/whatever and Matt would install and refill them. The contractor and contractee share in the profits. Leasing and installing credit card swiping machines is another turnkey business.

Posted by: Tuning Spork at August 21, 2006 01:50 PM (2lV6Z)

7 Mmm, I always thought it was a popular sell for franchising.

Posted by: Blake at August 21, 2006 09:17 PM (1B44J)

8 Yep, Blake. Franchising is turnkey, but it's not the kind of turnkey that you hear advertised on the radio. If you hear an ad that invites you to take advantage of their turnkey business opportunity -- and they don't mention what kind of business it is -- it's more'n likely that it's a scheme to get you to pay up front for the opportunity to work on commission.

Posted by: Tuning Spork at August 21, 2006 09:31 PM (o9M49)

9 MOst of these fucktards got it sorta right; it means something that needs little or no more work to be good to go. In the computer age in which you have grown up,the equivalent might be "plug and play".

Posted by: shelly at August 22, 2006 12:39 AM (ZGpMS)

10 Shelly, shaddap and pick a category.

Posted by: Tuning Spork at August 22, 2006 01:37 AM (o9M49)

11 Patience, loser. You guys all hit the jackpot while I was stuck in Martha's Vineyard with no time for computer. Try to find some other life for a day or so. "...the legislature is in session, no man's property is safe." (google that while you wait)

Posted by: shelly at August 22, 2006 05:46 AM (ZGpMS)

12 LOL, you're a bad man, not to mention a SHAMELESS name-dropper.

Posted by: Casca at August 22, 2006 09:13 AM (rEC2k)

13 From my perspective in computer solutions product management, turnkey refers to the provision of a complete solution, including hardware, third party software, our software, and services.

Posted by: Ontario Emperor at August 23, 2006 12:39 PM (PTRPR)

14 Thanks for the info everybody, but I now have even less of an idea what turnkey means.

Posted by: annika at August 23, 2006 06:12 PM (qQD4Q)

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August 15, 2006

The British Talent For Euphemism

From Monsters & Critics:

[British Airways] has hit back at reports that more than 5,000 items of passenger luggage had gone missing since security measures were implemented at Heathrow airport.
There had been suggestions that up to 10,000 bags had been mislaid at the UK's busiest airport, and while a spokeswoman for the airline admitted that bags had been separated from their owners, they had definitely not been lost.

Isn't that a bit like saying, "She's not pregnant, She's just been separated from her virginity."

Posted by: annika at 10:52 AM | Comments (8) | Add Comment
Post contains 92 words, total size 1 kb.

1 How the hell do you "mislay" 10,000 bags? Somewhere, there has to be a huge mountain of luggage that someone HAS to have noticed, if just to drive around...

Posted by: BobG at August 15, 2006 12:32 PM (uzQ5f)

2 You must be ovulating. Being pregnant is quite different from being separated from one's virginity.

Posted by: Casca at August 15, 2006 01:19 PM (Z2ndo)

3 Speaking of airlines. Have any of you noticed that every major airline now oversells their seats and then if you do not register ahead of time for a boarding pass you cannot fly, even if you bought your ticket months ahead. You know, as a small government conservative I have a big thing to admit. I think deregulation of the Airline industry was a mistake. Usually regulations are not good, but sometimes, and in some industries they make sense. I say bring back strict government oversight. Raise the prices some, (we have way too many asstards and fatasses flying now) and FORCE the airlines to give good service and find your goddam luggage.

Posted by: kyle8 at August 15, 2006 03:27 PM (DyPio)

4 Kyle, I feel your pain. (Visualize me biting my lower lip and perhaps shedding a small tear.)Airline service is not great. Although, I have to say that I had a great experience flying Hawaiian Airlines. So, I don't know, maybe try taking a trip to Maui...

Posted by: Blu at August 15, 2006 03:38 PM (j8oa6)

5 Careful Kyle, they were deregulated, not unregulated. You're on the slippery slope of totalitarianism. Frankly, my gut tells me that the ugly, stupid, and obese should be kept in camps in Iowa, but one must restrain one's inner demons. Instead, they search our luggage before we board.

Posted by: Casca at August 15, 2006 04:59 PM (2gORp)

6 kyle, I've actually been kicked off flights for which I purchased tickets well in advance. As in, I was sitting in the waiting area and no one took the free stuff to fly later, so those of us who randomly hadn't gotten seating assignments were shit out of luck. This was around the holidays too. If the government is going to take over the airports, really what's the big deal with them taking over the planes too (note the sarcasm here)? Actually, the way it is now, it's backwards: I would rather have the government make airlines charge double for people who weigh over three hundred pounds, than have it paw through my dangerous terrorist sanitary products at the security checkpoint.

Posted by: The Law Fairy at August 15, 2006 05:13 PM (XUsiG)

7 Huh... pawing through your sanitary products... the mind reels. No wonder they always vandalize my laptop.

Posted by: Casca at August 15, 2006 07:22 PM (2gORp)

8 If you whiners would spend less time blogging and wagging your weenies, you could just go online and check in and get your boarding passes like the rest of us. As for your complaints about your fellow passengers, be happy they aren't wearing towels on their heads or burkhas.

Posted by: shelly at August 17, 2006 05:59 AM (ZGpMS)

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