Michael Jackson:

I'm very strong. I have rhinoceros skin.

Posted by: annika at 08:17 PM | Comments (7) | Add Comment
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i just read at Michele's that the great character actor John Vernon passed away. Wow. He was best known for his role as Dean Wormer in Animal House, and yes he was great in that. But i will always remember him as the crooked bank president, Maynard Boyle, in Charley Varrick.

Memorable John Vernon lines from that movie are (paraphrasing): "Look at those cows out there. Man they got it made. What's the worst that could happen to them? A short circuit in the electric milking machine," or later in the same scene, referring to one cow in particular: "Would you look at that one. What a set of jugs!"

But by far his best line from the same scene is his warning to the timid bank manager about what the mob bosses will do to someone who fucks with their money: "These people will strip you naked and go to work on you with a pair of pliers and a blowtorch!"

And who ends up bumping off Vernon's character at the end of the movie? None other than Joe Don Baker, as Molly the hit man.

Anyways, it is sad news.

P.S. Does anyone remember the subtly funny tribute in Futurama a few years ago, in the episode that was a take off on Animal House? The character based on Dean Wormer in the futuristic college was re-named Dean Vernon by the show's writers. i thought that was funny.

Which Reminds Me: Thinking about Charley Varrick got me thinking about the late great Norman Fell, who was also in that movie. That got me thinking about celebrities i have seen in my life because Mr. Fell is on that list. i'm talking about seeing celebrities i've encountered when i wasn't expecting to. (Of course i wouldn't include on any such list someone like Jerry Garcia, whom i saw in concert, since i was expecting to see him, although i'm not sure i have any memory of that event.) Here's the list:

• Mel Gibson, walking on Fifth Avenue in New York City


• Conan O'Brien, in a restaurant in the same city


• Norman Fell, walking with his wife on Market Street in San Francisco


• Whoopie Goldberg, shopping in the Century City Mall


• Danny Bonaduce, at an amusement park


• The wrestler known as the Brooklyn Brawler, at a dance club in the West End of London


• Cindy Crawford, at a Malibu grocery store. And she's as pretty without makeup as she is in print.


• Arnold Schwarzenegger, in Sacramento, where else?


• Eric Chavez, shopping in a Union Square department store


• President Clinton, riding in a limousine in Washington D.C.


• The late Chick Hearn, with his lovely wife Marge, at Sunday mass


• Antonio Fargas, in a liquor store, scratching a lottery ticket

Update: Noticing how celebrities always die in threes, this morning i heard about the other two: Max Schmelling and Ozzie Davis.

Posted by: annika at 01:22 PM | Comments (9) | Add Comment
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Looks like Leroy Wells may have to wait a while before he can become "the next William Hung."

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You've probably already heard the rumor that it was Angelina, not Brittany, who allegedly played a role in the first big breakup of 2005.

Sultry Angelina Jolie 'got under' Brad Pitt's skin while they shot a movie together last year, in a sexless but too-tight relationship that 'bothered' Jennifer Aniston, pals say.

. . .

'They did not sleep with each other,' but Pitt 'was obviously taken by Angelina.'

. . .

'He changed,' the source told the mag. 'It might have been slight, but it's noticeable. And Jennifer knew it.'

But Pitt's pals poured water on a steamy report in a British tabloid that Aniston caught the 'Ocean's Twelve' star and Jolie having phone sex, and they insisted he has always been loyal to his 'Friends' wife of 4-1/2 years.

Seriously, i don't really give a shit why they broke up and i couldn't care less who they're fucking. But i can't pass up the opportunity to work on my photoshopping skills.

Posted by: annika at 11:37 PM | Comments (6) | Add Comment
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Brad and Jen have finally split.

i called it months ago. Didn't i call it?

Hollywood's dream couple, Brad Pitt and Jennifer Aniston, are breaking up after just 4-1/2 years of marriage.

The hunky star of 'Troy' and the most popular of television's 'Friends' now say they'll remain - you guessed it -'friends.'

. . .

'We would like to announce that after seven years together we have decided to formally separate,' they said in a joint statement issued to People Magazine.

'For those who follow these sorts of things, we would like to explain that our separation is not the result of any of the speculation reported by the tabloid media.["]

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My hits have more than tripled from people googling for information about Ashley Simpson getting booed at the Orange Bowl. People really don't like her. Of course, her career will go on; the powers that be will continue to force her product on an unwilling public. Just like the WNBA.

Posted by: annika at 07:56 AM | Comments (7) | Add Comment
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This one belongs in The "Huh" Files.

Teri Hatcher has revealed she hasn't had sex in four years.

The beautiful actress, famous for her role as Lois Lane in '90s hit TV series 'The New Adventures of Superman', has confessed she hasn't had any fun between the sheets since splitting from actor husband Jon Tenney in 2000.

The star, who also plays a frustrated single mum in the acclaimed US series 'Desperate Housewives' told Britain's The Sun newspaper: 'There just isn't any space for it.

'I don't have a boyfriend because I don't go out on dates.

But it's okay - I'm not sad because of it.'

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To bring you the most important news of the day.

This just in...

Ashley Simpson can burp the alphabet.

No word yet on whether she's lip-synching that too.

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AAaaaaaaHHH!!! AAAaaaaaH!!! WaaaaaaaAAAhhH! AAAAAAAaaaaaaaAAhhh! NNnnoooooOOoooooo!!! AAAAAAAAAaaaaaahhhhhhh!!!! AAaaaaaaHHH!!! AAAaaaaaH!!! WaaaaaaaAAAhhH! AAAAAAAaaaaaaaAAhhh! AAAAAAAAAaaaaaahhhhhhh!!!! AAaaaaaaHHH!!! AAAaaaaaH!!! WaaaaaaaAAAhhH! NNoooohohohohonnnnononono!!!! AAAAAAAaaaaaaaAAhhh! Pleaaaaseeenonononnhohono!!!!! AAAAAAAAAaaaaaahhhhhhh!!!! AAaaaaaaHHH!!! AAAaaaaaH!!! WaaaaaaaAAAhhH! AAAAAAAaaaaaaaAAhhh! AAAAAAAAAaaaaaahhhhhhh!!!!

Posted by: annika at 09:48 PM | Comments (16) | Add Comment
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Philadelphia at Dallas.
Philly is favored by 6½ points.
The Cowboy's quarterback is still Vinnie Testaverde.
Vinnie Testaverde still sucks.
He's thrown ten picks this year, six in the last two games.
He's awful.
Philly is coming off a loss to Pittsburgh.
They outclass Dallas at the QB, RB and WR positions.
You do the math.
Gimme Philadelphia minus the points.

Now onto sports news of the more prurient variety. Chicago Bears Linebacker Brian Urlacher admits that he went out with Paris Hilton, but that he's never seen her infamous video.

We met, had a good time in Vegas, and she came to a game. That was about it.

She's a nice girl.

And a busy girl

she goes all out.

I don't know what the big deal was. I was single, and we hung out for a while.

I didn't even see the [infamous] video, man.

I should've watched it; I heard it was pretty good.

Rock on Brian.

Update: With the Eagles' 49 to 21 shellacking of the Cowboys tonight (Someone forgot to tell Andy Reid that there's no BCS in the NFL, and thus no need to run up the score.), i improved my record for MNF prognostication to 6 and 3. My awesomeness continues to roll!

Posted by: annika at 09:55 AM | Comments (6) | Add Comment
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1 Philly bye 3 no more or less.

Posted by: Dex at November 15, 2004 11:10 AM (yw5Tu)

2 The rumor of last week was that Bill the Cat lost the mayoral election due to havin' been married to Paris Hilton for 17 minutes the day jes' before the election. Paris gets around, doesn't she. I wish she would come around here. I think she is cute.

Posted by: Tig at November 15, 2004 09:19 PM (G5PGV)

3 ...awesomeness continues... Then there's your sub-500 record in Blogger Bowl. (Trash-talking only because The Rats of Chaos are scheduled to roll over annika's journal next week, kiddo.)

Posted by: Victor at November 16, 2004 04:50 AM (L3qPK)

4 We're not gonna talk about Blogger Bowl. Not after Ted whooped my ass so badly this week.

Posted by: annika at November 16, 2004 09:14 AM (zAOEU)

5 It's not exactly a "pee-test" that's used. Very few of the nasties actually show up in urine. Usually, a blood test or a smear is what's needed. Drugs, OTOH, will usually show up in pee.

Posted by: John at November 16, 2004 02:05 PM (OmbAg)

6 Thank for this great post, i like what you read Menu Board. Thumbs up, and keep it going!Thanks for sharing I’ll email my friends about this too LED Billboard. This is a really good read for me, Must admit that you are one of the best bloggers I ever saw Led Signboard.Thanks for posting this informative article LED writing board. I look forward to more updates and will be returning.Cheers!

Posted by: Advertising signs at January 21, 2011 03:56 AM (zpIH7)

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Why is Jimmy Kimmel famous?
Who is he?
Has he ever been funny?
Does anyone think he is funny
Or entertaining
In even the most slightest way?
Did you ever notice that
Even when he's smiling
He doesn't look like he's smiling?
Which would be okay if he had
A dry sense of humor, but he
Has no sense of humor at all.
Still,
He's funnier than Bill Maher.
Which is saying a lot,
Because Jimmy Kimmel is not funny.

Posted by: annika at 10:05 PM | Comments (9) | Add Comment
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From Drudge:

Only a couple hundred came out to see Cher Friday night at Miami Beach's CROBAR disco, but that did not stop the legendary diva from issuing an election warning against Republican control.

. . .

Cher warned moveon.org clubgoers to fight Bush, before 'it's too late':

'All the gay guys, all my friends, all my gay friends, you guys you have got to vote, alright? Because it would only be a matter of time before you guys would be so screwed, I cannot tell you. Because, you know, the people, like, in the very right wing of this party, of these Republicans, the very very right wing, the Jerry Falwell element, if they get any more power, you guys are going to be living in some state by yourselves. So, I hate scare tactics, but I really believe that that's true.'

i never thought i'd hear a celebrity say something more idiotic than Cameroon Diaz telling Ofrah Winfrey's audience "If you think that rape should be legal, then don't vote," but Cher's comment comes pretty close.

Posted by: annika at 08:51 AM | Comments (12) | Add Comment
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i've been critical of Paris Hilton in the past, but no woman should be hit, if indeed that's what happened to her.

The longer Paris Hilton remains silent on the cause of her two black eyes and that cut lip, the worse it's getting for boy band singer Nick Carter.

While Carter and his attorney continue to strongly deny the singer had anything to do with the reality show star's injuries, the rumors of an ugly altercation between the couple -- perhaps when the hotel heiress dumped Carter -- continue to circulate in Hollywood and New York.

Carter, well known for having an extremely short fuse and anger-management problems, is said to be close to a breakdown, brought on by the negative publicity splashing him across the front pages of every supermarket tabloid in the country. Music industry sources also say Carter's career -- which has been built on a "good guy image" -- could be hurt unless this story is quickly buried.

*A new report from the syndicated TV show "Extra" claims Hilton's injuries were caused during a catfight in a Los Angeles nightclub with 'a renowned Hollywood party girl.' Hilton's publicists have denied that story outright.

i have no way of knowing whether they've been photoshopped. On the one hand, i can't understand why Paris would leave the house and be seen in public with marks like that on her face and arms, assuming the pictures haven't been embellished. But on the other hand, maybe she wants everyone to see what a certain bastard did to her.

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The Kerry sisters are apparently all lubricated over that has-been-never-was actor Matt Ben Afflack. (Apparently, they never saw Daredevil, which can cure any starstruck Afflack worshiper of their unfortunate condition.)

The felling seems mutual, as Ben is probably seeing Benjamins in the eyes of the two ketchup queens. Or maybe he's simply all ga-ga over Alex's ta-tas. Or, perhaps most likely, he envisions himself as the next Peter Lawford or Arnold Schwarzenegger, and plans to make the leap from entertainment to the world of power politics via strategic marriage.

Here's a window into Ben Afflack's idea of wit and charm, for what it's worth:

In the new issue of Harper's Bazaar, Ben blathers that he finds the sisters 'funny,' 'smart' and 'absurdly beautiful.'

Affleck, who interviews the duo for the maggie, admires Alexandra's 'soft features, brown hair and a gentle, willowy carriage that complements her demeanor.'

As for Vanessa, he raves: 'She looks, with her flaxen hair, almost like a Nordic milkman's child.'

Gag us.

'Ben and Vanessa were in the front of the box in the external seating . . . He had his mom with him but he and Vanessa were yukking it up. They were laughing and having a good time. Very cozy. They looked like affectionate pals.

'Within 15 minutes, Alexandra waltzes in, she sees them and lunges across the partition to get in between them. She greets Ben with the big hug and kiss. This was clearly making Vanessa very uncomfortable, she would walk away and come back. It was like two junior high school girls vying for his attention. This was clearly a case of sibling rivalry.'

Via Son of Nixon.

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Says Madona: "I did spend at least a decade taking my clothes off and being photographed, saying bad words on TV and that sort of thing. … I don't regret it, but it's just, you know — I mean everybody takes their clothes off now. And then what? You know? And then what?"

Dumshit's looking for a new hobby.

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The Boss needs to just "shut up and sing." He thinks every American needs to read Al Gore's speech and calls it "one of the most important speeches I've heard in a long time."

And we should listen to Springstien's advice on politics because . . . ?

. . . Oh that's right, he's a musician. The only pundits with any credentials on the left are all entertainers of some sort.

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i'm pleased to announce that legislation has just been signed, which will outlaw Morissey forever. The bombing begins in five minutes.

Fuck him and fuck the lemmings who cheered him.

Link via Michele.

Posted by: annika at 02:47 PM | Comments (5) | Add Comment
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Hey bud, let's party!

or maybe,

I am so wasted!

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