June 19, 2004

Dumshit Celebrity Quote

Says Madona: "I did spend at least a decade taking my clothes off and being photographed, saying bad words on TV and that sort of thing. … I don't regret it, but it's just, you know — I mean everybody takes their clothes off now. And then what? You know? And then what?"

Dumshit's looking for a new hobby.

Posted by: annika at 02:06 PM | Comments (3) | Add Comment
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1 Don't you mean Esther?

Posted by: The Agnostic at June 19, 2004 03:20 PM (0rlpY)

2 I think maybe you mean Polly-Esther. Who could be more synthetic?

Posted by: shelly s. at June 19, 2004 09:16 PM (AaBEz)

3 Obviously the next step for Mrs. Ciccone is actual sex on TV. She'll be lauded for perpetuating the beauty myth for women in her age bracket. What's more, she'll be scorned by all the right prudes, which'll simply bolster her numbers. Maybe a porno done in the style of Richard Linklater's "Waking Life" would be a start. She could also make a leap over to some form of tantrism and produce her own syncretistic, mutant mysticism. Imagine a film where Madonna fucks intelligent cucumbers that lecture her on Sartrean and Camusian existentialism. During those sex scenes, Madonna spouts disjointed fragments from kabbalistic and tantric scriptures in a parody of Talmudic "pilpul" casuistry, occasionally using words like "phronesis" and "veridicality" because she knows the cucumbers are turned on by specialized vocabulary. Or maybe Madonna gets a hankering for contortionism and manages to fuck her own biceps (hell, I'd fuck 'em), both of which also gain sentience, but only marginally so: they spend their screen time cooing stupidly about how large and hard they are (I'd hire Jenny McCarthy to voice the biceps; I think she rocks). The large/hard obsession eventually leads one of the biceps into a sad soliloquy wherein we learn of its secret desire to become a penis. In keeping with the simply-titled works she's produced, like "Sex" and "Truth or Dare," we could title the new Madonna film-- oh, I don't know-- "FUCK." Not exactly original, as titles go, but it might market well, and it'd have transgressive cachet in the mainstream, which is where Madonna has traditionally had the most impact. The truly artsy world largely ignores her flappings and squawkings. That in itself is a sad commentary. Kevin

Posted by: Kevin Kim at June 20, 2004 05:45 AM (MVmX7)

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