1
Hey, you are the girl with the shoes; send her a pair or two, Imelda.
Posted by: shelly at April 30, 2008 06:39 PM (wearR)
2
It's funny how Simon has reacted to her this year. He's past being offended, and now watches the train wreck with mild amusement, and a modicum of compassion. One wonders, how long before they lock her up?
The Neil Diamond stuff was refreshing. It's too bad that the guy who lost his razor didn't sing them all. He's the only one with a clue.
That fucking sideshow-bob wannabe should have been booted weeks ago. Talk about phoning it in, all he's thinking about is that teeny bopper ass he's going to be getting on the road. On the upside, it's gonna burn everytime he takes a whiz.
Brooke should have gone earlier too. Her shit is weak. If the season sucked, blame the vox populi. There was talent in the beginning, but it was killed in the crib.
Archelleta? Every fucking song he sings sounds the same, and I'm soooo fucking tired of that upraised palm of the extended right hand, as if he's holding an amputated elephant testicle. Is there no one there to teach them the basics of public speaking?
Does one dare? Oh, why stir the fire, she'll be gone next week.
Posted by: Casca at May 01, 2008 06:57 AM (FzhYM)
3
Two paragraphs, Cas.
By the way, what are YOU doing watching that crap?
Posted by: shelly at May 01, 2008 05:55 PM (wearR)
4
Lol, touche. I watch because there is a political component. It give me a measure of the polity of the show. One must keep in touch with the tastes of the hoi polloi. Plus, I like Simon's honest judgments, and the fact that he's making scads of ooof by sitting next to a moron.
Posted by: Casca at May 02, 2008 09:50 AM (xGZ+b)
5
Holy shit! you're back. i'm a little slow, i guess, sometimes. anyway, greetings! and happy new year, congrats, etc...
I only watched AI this week because i'd just returned from n'orleans and needed to zone out after the flight. Honestly, there was better entertainment and talent on the plane home than on that stupid show. how come the moron hasn't been thrown off the panel yet?
Wright - Moyer Love Fest
I forced myself to watch the Wright-Moyer1 love fest last night on PBS. Here's the transcript. Knowing Moyer, and his talent for partisan obfuscation, I didn't expect much. My expectations were not exceeded.
If the purpose of this interview was to rehabilitate Pastor Wright for those whose only knowledge of him was based on "snippets" of his sermons "run in an endless loop," the interview failed.
Here's the Moyer-Wright argument, in a nutshell:
1. Pastor Wright is a good guy, and really smart.2
2. The "snippets" were taken out of context.
3. And besides, you wouldn't understand them anyway.3
When I first heard the audio of Pastor Wright's vitriolic sermons, the first thing I thought was "this guy shouts like a fascist." If you've ever heard recordings of Hitler or Mussolini at the crescendo of an oration, the tone is eerily similar.
I've since heard the context, and not only do I understand what he was trying to say, it's no different in context than it is out of context. The man is full of hate. Just because you can construct an elaborate argument to justify your hatred doesn't mean you don't hate.
I don't mean to equate Pastor Wright with Hitler or Mussolini, but their methods of proselytization are similar. It boils down to this: Out there you're a victim; in here you're safe because I will tell you the truth.
Many people naturally want to hear that they're victims, because it explains life's inherent unfairness in a way that relieves them of any responsibility. And many people are naturally attracted to conspiracy theories out of ego-gratification. I know the "truth" -- you believe the "lies." Therefore I'm smart and you're a fool. That's all it is.
So what if Wright's ministry did good work in the community? So does my church, and without all the race-baiting hate speech. It is possible to preach the gospel without dividing people into us and them. But perhaps not as profitable.
One passage from the interview stood out for its absurdity.
[A]fter every revolution, the winners of that revolution write down what the revolution was about so that their children can learn it, whether it's true or not. They don't learn anything at all about the Arawak, they don't learn anything at all about the Seminole, the Cheek-Trail of Tears, the Cherokee. They don't learn anything. No, they don't learn that. What they learn is 1776, Crispus Attucks was the one black guy in there. Fight against the British, the- terrible. "We hold these truths to be self-evident that all men are created equal while we're holding slaves." No, keep that part out. They learn that. And they cling to that. And when you start trying to show them you only got a piece of the story, and lemme show you the rest of the story, you run into vitriolic hatred because you're desecrating our myth. You're desecrating what we hold sacred. And when you're holding sacred is a miseducational system that has not taught you the truth.
I don't know what schools Pastor Wright went to, but I was taught all that stuff in every single history class I ever had. In a good number of law school classes too. Pastor Wright, if he knew what he was talking about, should have no problem with the history curriculum of today's students.4 In that sense, Obama was right when he said that Wright's profound mistake was thinking that America hadn't changed. We have changed, and we can do even better.
In his Farewell Address, Ronald Reagan addressed the same question, with a very different take, and one that I think is superior and unifying in contrast to Wright's divisiveness.
But now, we're about to enter the nineties, and some things have changed. Younger parents aren't sure that an unambivalent appreciation of America is the right thing to teach modern children. And as for those who create the popular culture, well-grounded patriotism is no longer the style. Our spirit is back, but we haven't reinstitutionalized it. We've got to do a better job of getting across that America is freedom -- freedom of speech, freedom of religion, freedom of enterprise. And freedom is special and rare. It's fragile; it needs protection.
. . .
And let me offer lesson number one about America: All great change in America begins at the dinner table. So, tomorrow night in the kitchen I hope the talking begins. And children, if your parents haven't been teaching you what it means to be an American, let 'em know and nail 'em on it. That would be a very American thing to do
_______________
1. I know there's supposed to be an "s." I omit the "s" because that's what LBJ did.
2. See, he uses the word "hermeneutic" in a sentence to show how smart he is. Even Bill Moyer doesn't know that word, which proves how smart the Pastor really is.
3. Wright said, "The persons who have heard the entire sermon understand the communication perfectly." Again, he divides people into us and them. If you were there, you understand and presumably agree. If you disagree, well, you weren't there so you couldn't possibly understand and you're opinion has no value. Interestingly, Obama would have it both ways. He agreed, but only with the stuff he heard when he was there. He disagreed, but only with the stuff he didn't hear because he wasn't there.
4. A recent poll of 2000 High school students asked them to name the top ten "most famous Americans." The top three were: Martin Luther King Jr., Rosa Parks and Harriet Tubman. Oprah Winfrey came in 7th. And check this out, "when the researchers polled 2,000 adults in a different survey, their lists were nearly identical."
1
It was nauseating to watch a very soft spoken Wright explain how his words have been twisted to mean something else, almost like he never uttered them.
And all the while, Moyers nodding in agreement; shame on the press for replaying them and misconstruing his words..
Has journalism lost all of its integrity? Are they all in the tank for Obama?
Posted by: shelly at April 26, 2008 04:11 PM (wearR)
2
I'm so upset with myself being a cracker that I'm buying mules to distribute.
Posted by: Stew at April 26, 2008 07:56 PM (swd4s)
Posted by: Casca at April 26, 2008 08:10 PM (gOOVv)
4
I lived in Chi-town for a couple of years. There's a lot of hate there, and a great deal of it is directed toward whitey.
Posted by: Casca at April 26, 2008 08:12 PM (gOOVv)
5
I would have given ANYTHING to be there. I love Moyers and I absolutely REVERE Reverand Wright. I've bought ALL of his sermons and I wake up to them every day on my alarm CD clock. I've got my 13 year old trained - I say God Bless America, he comes back with "nah, nah, nah, God Damn America"!
Just too cool.
I don't know which Rev I worship more - Wright or Sharpton!
Posted by: KayInMaine at April 27, 2008 01:51 PM (N0OIm)
6
Kay,
I hope you get impregnated by a cactus and queef out a litter of porcupines.
Posted by: 08nagaer at April 27, 2008 05:40 PM (e55SP)
7
Greetings Annie (!), if that is your real nom de guerre...
It's so nice to visit with you and with my old friends in the comment section.
The Reagan quote reminds of a favorite Mona Charen:Is it really arrogance, as the liberals would have it, to believe that the system and the culture we've inherited is superior to others? Or is it ingratitude to deny it?
Second, I blogged about Dr. Wright's speech tonight to the NAACP.
Third, a celebratory Dr. Wright haiku is surely called for:
Preacher of darkness
Marx in a pressed summer frock
Who won the Cold War?
Posted by: gcotharn at April 27, 2008 08:56 PM (OZxpP)
8
here's the url to the Jeremiah Wright blogpost
http://theendzone.blogspot.com/2008/04/jeremiah-wright-at-n.html
Posted by: gcotharn at April 27, 2008 08:58 PM (OZxpP)
9"And when you start trying to show them you only got a piece of the story, and lemme show you the rest of the story, you run into vitriolic hatred because you're desecrating our myth. You're desecrating what we hold sacred. And when you're holding sacred is a miseducational system that has not taught you the truth."
When Wright cites history to build arguments of racism and exclusivity, I love how he implies that things should have been perfect from the start, otherwise there's no good in them whatsoever, even up to today. That ignores the fact that humans are imperfect beings and have the potential to improve, and that the bad in history can be outweighed by the good.
He also ignores that, for all the faults demonstrated in history, the US still managed to build a society where anyone can rise above their past. That seems to be missing from Wright's demagoguery; all you see is "It's bad, it's bad, it's evil". Nothing about the very American attitude of "work to improve". The hate takes precedence.
It seems as though the Reverend Wright here has made Perfect the enemy of Good, and in doing that has denied all that is truly right about this country. And by the way, who's the one who only "... got a piece of the story"? Seems to me he's engineering an encompassing truth from a similarly sized piece himself. What does the Bible say about hypocrisy again?
Posted by: ElMondoHummus at April 28, 2008 04:40 AM (xHyDY)
10
He's skillful at rhetorical trickeration. One sees the attraction for young B. Hussein Obama. Wright strings together truths, then adds the falsehood. And as we all know from C.S. Lewis, to adulterate the faith does not require that something be taken away. It requires only that something be added.
Posted by: Casca at April 28, 2008 06:14 AM (FzhYM)
Posted by: gcotharn at April 28, 2008 08:10 AM (OZxpP)
12
Cas, let me remind you that he had six years in the corps to perfect that little skill.
Makes you wonder sometimes, doesn't it?
Posted by: shelly at April 29, 2008 02:20 AM (wearR)
13
Actually Shelly, that's not true. His military record is rather hazy. I'm not even sure that he was ever a Marine. He claims to have finished his active duty as a corpsman. All corpsmen are sailors. He may have been a corpsman who served with Marines, or he may have started life as a Marine, then transferred to the navy, and started life over in a new MOS as a corpsman. That's a pretty strange thing to do. As a rule of thumb, corpsmen tend to be flakes or queers. Every once in a while, you run across one who has his shit in one bag. I'll bet there's a lot of fiction in his bio.
Posted by: Casca at April 29, 2008 07:50 AM (IrbU4)
14
Isn't there a way to check that out to some extent?
Posted by: shelly at April 29, 2008 01:23 PM (AiJXe)
15
He's a pre-Vietnam vet, so someone would have to come forward, or he'd have to confess to something, or release his records. He's probably too smart to do the last two. In any case, his bio says that he, "went to the Navy", whatever that means. It's not a routine thing. I've known a couple of guys who did the reverse, but never what The Right Rev Wrong claims.
My guess is that he wasn't happy in the Marines, because he was a malcontent, and everyone was more than happy to ship his ass over.
Posted by: Casca at April 29, 2008 08:55 PM (gOOVv)
Posted by: Radical Redneck at April 30, 2008 05:50 PM (zOPuC)
17
I honestly don't know which nauseates me more, RR's post or Moyers' sychophant simpering nodding while the clown pastor takes down the first black non-president on the grand tour.
For those who speak a little Yiddish, as my sainted grandsmother used to say "Ken brecken."
Posted by: shelly at May 01, 2008 11:58 PM (wearR)
1
Fug dat. U know what I'm here for! An AI post!!!
Posted by: Casca at April 22, 2008 07:22 PM (gOOVv)
2For some odd reason, Barock Obama reminds me of Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson.
With his Rev. Wright affiliation and his "bitter" promo, has Obama turned "heel" to independent voters before the big match-up at Donkey Punch 2008? In any case, I'll be sure not to forget to bring my home-made "Obama Sucks" posters when the time comes.
Posted by: 08nagaer at April 22, 2008 07:24 PM (e55SP)
Posted by: Casca at April 22, 2008 07:45 PM (gOOVv)
4
I no longer speak Manchurian.
Maybe if you had notified your loyal fans that you were back in business, you might have gotten a quicker response.
Is the practice of law that boring?
Posted by: Shelly at April 23, 2008 06:05 AM (wearR)
5
"Manchu", Shelly. The language is called "Manchu".
Although the major irony is that the folks formerly called "Manchurians" now exclusively speak Mandarin. But hey, what's cultural imperialism for if not to take over your neighbors in every way possible, including how to speak? How much you wanna bet that Tibetans will be speaking Chinese within the next century?
Posted by: ElMondoHummus at April 23, 2008 08:43 AM (xHyDY)
6
El, I believe the fait is already accmopli. Now had something been done in 1957... but fifty years later it's all pissing in the wind.
Posted by: Casca at April 23, 2008 10:30 AM (NmR1a)
7
I guess Annie's right, we need to spell it out for you guys.
Maybe you could read the book or watch the movie entitled "The Manchurian Candidate". You may then understand the significance of the Queen of Diamonds and Bronco Bomber's sudden emergence upon the scene.
Annie, we need to draw up the bridge here.
Posted by: shelly at April 23, 2008 12:23 PM (AiJXe)
8
Look for the Bomber to take a long walk off a short pier sometime soon.
Posted by: annika at April 23, 2008 12:38 PM (kKccv)
9
Well, I have maintained fromt the getgo that they would steal it from him. The Clintons may be ruthless, thieving, low life trailer park trash, but they ain't stupid.
Bill is still one of the smartest guys in the game, and he is rolling the dice big time with his legacy (whatever might still be left).
He figures they convince the Super Delagates that Bomber is unelectable and thus give it to Hill. I think he's right.
Good news is that if it happens that way, Bomber's copilots will all stay home or vote for McCain; either way, we win.
Posted by: Shelly at April 23, 2008 08:10 PM (wearR)
10
It's tough all the way round. Even if we win, we lose.
Posted by: Casca at April 23, 2008 08:55 PM (gOOVv)
1
Uh, no, that's not what I missed.
Lovely, munu just blocked my submission because of three letters following "bi" in my email address. I bet it's OK to say queer.
Posted by: Casca at April 22, 2008 06:50 AM (IrbU4)
2
"annikasbiqueer@earthlink.net"?
We'll accept that only if you give us a definition for "bi queer".
Posted by: ElMondoHummus at April 22, 2008 03:47 PM (xHyDY)
3
I no longer speak Manchurian.
Maybe if you'd notify yuor fans that you were back in business some of us might have responded a little earlier.
Posted by: shelly at April 23, 2008 05:50 AM (wearR)
4
Now do yo get it, boys and girls?
Who could forget Angela Lansbury making her son (Laurence Harvey) into a zombie killer?
The Queen of Diamonds, indeed.
Posted by: shelly at April 23, 2008 08:13 PM (wearR)
Posted by: Casca at April 23, 2008 08:57 PM (gOOVv)
6
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Posted by: shahzad at July 15, 2010 12:59 PM (cJbQI)
We Interrupt This Blog Re-Emergence For The Following Musical Interlude
If you forget everything else I ever told you, remember this: A thorough study of bluegrass music must ― repeat must ― begin with an examination of Bill Monroe.
Posted by: Janette at April 20, 2008 01:47 PM (neQW/)
3
That's an eerie coincidence: You share my mother's first name, but with a slight spelling difference. Seriously.
Posted by: 08nagaer at April 20, 2008 04:37 PM (e55SP)
4
Video is not running atm but i will love to see it again and for this i will be here again just after my
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Posted by: Real Exam at March 20, 2009 12:04 PM (D74YX)
Recommendations?
Anybody have a recommendation for a good 24" flat panel monitor? I was looking at the Samsung at Costco, but I hear ViewSonic is also good.
1
I don't know anything about these t.v.'s, but my husband got a Sony Vaio via a tremendous employee discount for Christmas. We love it. At first I thought I was going to watch t.v. all day and night, but that didn't last.
Posted by: Joules at April 20, 2008 06:43 PM (28NFV)
Posted by: Casca at April 21, 2008 02:33 PM (gOOVv)
3
HPs are good, but not cheap. I love my 19" one, and shudder to think of the price of a 24".
Posted by: Sigivald at April 22, 2008 12:56 PM (3iY68)
4
I've purchased cheap as well as the really really expensive. You're going to be looking at it for the next five or so years. Spend a little extra and get a really good one. Get the maximum warranty. I disagree with the frugal Clark Howards of the world when it comes to a store warranty on these things.
Pricewatch.com or newegg if you want to purchase online. I really recommend (after dealing with the warranty process) purchasing from a retail location. Amortize over the five years and it's worth it.
Oh and 1080 is a rip at that size. You can go 720 fine.
Posted by: Stew at April 22, 2008 06:14 PM (swd4s)
Yet Another In A Series Of Satirical Environment Related Posts: Earth Day Suggestions
It's a well known and scientifically accepted truth that we are all on the verge of a major environmental catastrophe, which can only be averted by the election of Bronco Bomber. Unfortunately, we can't count on the gun-toting, God-clinging, xenophobic racists who vote in this country to recognize the Obamessiah as the Planet's one and only salvation. It doesn't look good for the old Obameister right now, but don't despair. We can still do our part. Here are thirteen practical suggestions for making this year's Earth Day count:
Refrain from swatting any flies. Flies are people too, and swatting is a violent act. Instead, try talking to the fly without preconditions.
Don't needlessly waste electricity at night. Turn off all your lights and stop watching tv. Instead, read a book and use your cell phone as a reading light.
Rather than waste water by going in your toilet, reuse old plastic grocery bags instead. Better yet, don't flush and plant a tree in the bowl. Presto, instant carbon offset!
If you're already walking or biking to work, bravo for you. But remember that you exhale more CO2 when you exercise. Offset that contribution to greenhouse gasses by carrying a co-worker on your back.
Did you know that leaving the tap running while you brush your teeth wastes about thirty gallons of water a day? Stop brushing your teeth.
Don't buy any product that was ever manufactured, assembled, transported, marketed or sold by a large corporation. Instead, make all your own stuff. I know a guy named Fred who furnished his entire house using only natural materials he found locally or brought home from work.
Watching tv is a huge waste of electricity, but if you must watch your favorite show, wait for the re-runs. It's a great way to recycle.
Act. Be active. Activate. Actualize. Activist. Accentuate. Use these words in a sentence.
Wear hemp jewelry. My boyfriend proposed by giving me a hemp ring he made himself out of some free twine he stole from IKEA.
Browbeat your friends into becoming environmentally conscious. Guilt-trip them about eating meat. Set their pets free. Just be obnoxious in general.
Paint your house green. Then tell everybody you live in a green house. They won't know.
Practice Zero Population Growth responsibly. For instance, a hollowed out leek makes a great condom.
1
You know, this along with your "save the earth" button might qualify you for a Nobel.
Posted by: Stew at April 19, 2008 01:38 PM (swd4s)
2
Yes, Stew, that is precious work.
Annie, you've outdone yourself, yet again. That list is friggin' hilarious. Points #4 and #12 were my favorites.
Though, I would modify #4 to just say: "Don't breath...at all. Your mere existence further weakens Mother Gaia, you selfish prick."
The only thing that is more nauseating than the hysteria generated by "climate change" are the "solutions" that politicians want to implement. They seem to be nothing more than Luddite-inspired versions of the Great Leap Forward, but in reverse*.
I'm not looking forward to when this thread is inevitably hijacked by a certain greeny, "moderate" killjoy.
*Dismantling our industrialized economy in order to make environmental "progress"
Posted by: 08nagaer at April 19, 2008 01:58 PM (e55SP)
3
Nice list oh Funny One.
Did you borrow number 8 from the Obomber people? It really reminds me of their campaign, words without qualifiers.
Posted by: Mike C. at April 20, 2008 09:04 AM (wearR)
4
Eh, I've been doing all of those things for years, but in my case out of sheer spite.
On a tangentially related note, dear Hemlock's father has passed. You may enjoy his brilliant observation of the human condition. Don't miss the last two paragraphs. They're positively Waughvian.
Alas, I can't post the link, since munu hates certain websites. Just search for Hemlock.
Posted by: Casca at April 21, 2008 02:32 PM (gOOVv)
5"For instance, a hollowed out leek makes a great condom...""Eh, I've been doing all of those things for years, but in my case out of sheer spite."
Buh?...
Posted by: ElMondoHummus at April 21, 2008 04:45 PM (xHyDY)
6
Fuggit, I'll post the verbage. Hemlock lives in Hong Kong, and has traveled to Blighty for the event. The last two paragraphs of his post:
The big excitement in this little community today is a children's party in the church hall. At one stage in the proceedings a parent displays his deeply held and already well-known convictions and his determination to shape his offspring accordingly. “No, Tarquin!” the man suddenly shrieks across the room as if his three-year-old son is about to stick a finger into a power socket. The father leaps over and snatches a small hot dog from the petrified child's hand. The kid bursts into tears. The father turns to the dozen or so stunned adult onlookers. “Tarquin doesn't eat meat!” he exclaims. Tarquin goes into a tantrum, wailing and thumping the floor and pointing at other toddlers chewing their pork-laced little morsels. His dad, posessed by the total righteousness of his behaviour, holds up the offending item. “He obviously confused it with the vegetarian sausages we have at home.”
At Stonegallows Hall, plans for my father's funeral have been finalized. On hearing that it would be a humanist affair, I assumed it would be brief, informal and without such baubles as a grandiose coffin and extravagant wreaths. I pictured a simple consignment to the earth in a pleasant and unmarked spot, the body perhaps tied in a plain cotton shroud, with some acorns thrown in as the grave is filled with the last few inches of soil. Provided no druids turned up, that would have satisfied the old man's atheism and dislike of fuss and ritual, and mildly offended all the right people currently organizing masses to be said for him on both sides of the Atlantic for the repose of his soul. As it happens, survivors have ordered shiny casket, flowers, pall bearers – the full works. The standard Christian ceremony with God carefully teased out. It is for people who say they don't want, need or believe in something, but deep down they really do. In this respect – and I am absolutely positive there is no other – it can perhaps be likened to a vegetarian sausage.
Posted by: Casca at April 21, 2008 09:30 PM (gOOVv)
Bonus Friday Science Poem
Here's a poem, which purports to explain Schrödinger's conjecture. It's by Cecil Adams, a long time idol of mine, in response to a poem by one of his interlocutors. This post itself was inspired by Stewy.
Schroedinger, Erwin! Professor of physics!
Wrote daring equations! Confounded his critics!
(Not bad, eh? Don't worry. This part of the verse
Starts off pretty good, but it gets a lot worse.)
Win saw that the theory that Newton'd invented
By Einstein's discov'ries had been badly dented.
What now? wailed his colleagues. Said Erwin, "Don't panic,
No grease monkey I, but a quantum mechanic.
Consider electrons. Now, these teeny articles
Are sometimes like waves, and then sometimes like particles.
If that's not confusing, the nuclear dance
Of electrons and suchlike is governed by chance!
No sweat, though--my theory permits us to judge
Where some of 'em is and the rest of 'em was."
Not everyone bought this. It threatened to wreck
The comforting linkage of cause and effect.
E'en Einstein had doubts, and so Schroedinger tried
To tell him what quantum mechanics implied.
Said Win to Al, "Brother, suppose we've a cat,
And inside a tube we have put that cat at--
Along with a solitaire deck and some Fritos,
A bottle of Night Train, a couple mosquitoes
(Or something else rhyming) and, oh, if you got 'em,
One vial prussic acid, one decaying ottom
Or atom--whatever--but when it emits,
A trigger device blasts the vial into bits
Which snuffs our poor kitty. The odds of this crime
Are 50 to 50 per hour each time.
The cylinder's sealed. The hour's passed away. Is
Our pussy still purring--or pushing up daisies?
Now, you'd say the cat either lives or it don't
But quantum mechanics is stubborn and won't.
Statistically speaking, the cat (goes the joke),
Is half a cat breathing and half a cat croaked.
To some this may seem a ridiculous split,
But quantum mechanics must answer, "Tough @#&!
We may not know much, but one thing's fo' sho':
There's things in the cosmos that we cannot know.
Shine light on electrons--you'll cause them to swerve.
The act of observing disturbs the observed--
Which ruins your test. But then if there's no testing
To see if a particle's moving or resting
Why try to conjecture? Pure useless endeavor!
We know probability--certainty, never.'
The effect of this notion? I very much fear
'Twill make doubtful all things that were formerly clear.
Till soon the cat doctors will say in reports,
"We've just flipped a coin and we've learned he's a corpse."'
So saith Herr Erwin. Quoth Albert, "You're nuts.
God doesn't play dice with the universe, putz.
I'll prove it!" he said, and the Lord knows he tried--
In vain--until fin'ly he more or less died.
Win spoke at the funeral: "Listen, dear friends,
Sweet Al was my buddy. I must make amends.
Though he doubted my theory, I'll say of this saint:
Ten-to-one he's in heaven--but five bucks says he ain't."
Posted by: annika at April 19, 2008 06:43 AM (V638R)
4
I pledge allegiance to the Annika (if that is her real name)...
What a thrill. This is actually better than the time Spacemonkey threatened me with an RFC compliant rubber chicken.
Posted by: Stew at April 19, 2008 09:06 AM (swd4s)
Best Underwear Discovery Of The Year
I used to insist on natural fibers only next to my skin. But people can change. And as the Democrats are constantly reminding us, change is good. (Most especially when one is talking about change of underwear; I think we'd all agree on that.)
So now I'm a microfiber girl. Not only is Calvin Klein's 365 Microfiber Stretch Bikini the most awesome underwear ever, I have discovered that its male counterpart is gauranteed to drive me nutty whenever my man wears 'em. Touchably soft, hehe.
Posted by: Casca at April 21, 2008 02:11 PM (gOOVv)
2
But then you'd have to turn in your Marine credentials and go Squid. Or at least that's what the Marine propoganda tells me...
Ps. Should you do so, choose white. The darker colors may not show through the Marine dress blues, but man, would they ever show up when in Navy white...
Posted by: ElMondoHummus at April 21, 2008 04:40 PM (xHyDY)
3
black is the only way to go. the whites are a little too revealing, if you know what i mean.
Posted by: annika at April 21, 2008 10:44 PM (V638R)
I Got A QuestionBronco Bomber says he didn't hear Pastor Wright's controversial sermon on the Sunday after 9/11. How is it that the Senator wasn't in Church on the Sunday after 9/11? Everybody was in church on the Sunday after 9/11! Or maybe he skipped church that day as some sort of statement, like not wearing the flag pin. Maybe he thought going to church had, after 9/11, suddenly become a substitute for true worship, and so he decided he wasn't gonna do that no more. Or maybe it was around that time that he felt his family's economic situation had improved to the point that he didn't need to "cling" to religion on that particular Sunday like 99% of the rest of America (including, by the way, the couple hundred America haters in Wright's congregation who cheered during his diatribe).
1
Even if he were McCain's pick for V.P., I fear that not even the Incredible Hulk could stop this Obamanation.
(Abominable + Obama, get it?)
Posted by: 08nagaer at April 17, 2008 03:28 PM (e55SP)
2
Hey 08, I always thought nobody was as strong as the Hulk except Thor. What's up with this wiki entry saying the Obamanation (who I never heard of) is twice as strong as the Hulk. That ain't right.
Posted by: annika at April 17, 2008 07:52 PM (V638R)
3
I know how you feel, but I try to rationalize it this way: Think of it like Rocky 4.
The giant commie steroid freak that Dolph Lundgren portrayed would be the "Obamanation" while the physically dwarfed, yet stronger-willed Rocky B. would be the Hulk.
Posted by: 08nagaer at April 17, 2008 10:56 PM (e55SP)
Posted by: annika at April 18, 2008 09:00 AM (V638R)
5
I think he knew he would run for President someday and figured he needed to stay outta church that day because his crazy pastor was going to pull out all his best material. It was tremendously funny listening to the two of them dancing around last night.
Posted by: Joules at April 18, 2008 05:02 PM (28NFV)