May 31, 2008

I'm From The Future, I Came Here In A Time Machine You Invented, And I Need Your Help To Get Back To The Year 1985

Pat Riley's Brylcreem. The Chief's scowl. Danny Ainge pouting. Coop's knee highs. Kareem's goggles. Rambis's Clark Kents. Walton lying on the sideline. Bird vs. Magic (all the way back to '79) Maxwell's choking taunt. Magic's no-looks to Worthy. The Sky Hook was unstoppable. The Garden's heat, its bumpy parquet. McHale's clothesline foul. The Fabulous Forum. Leprechauns. Chick-isms. Big Game James. DJ's freckles. Jack courtside. K.C. Jones ridin' that train. Randy Newman blaring. Boston and L.A. are in the Finals and it's almost the 80's again.

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May 10, 2008

Sing It With Me

I need a stapler.
I need my hair done.
I need a Mother's Day gift.
I need to eat lunch.

I paid my bills.
I fucked around on the internet.
I recharacterized my Roth IRA contribution to a traditional IRA contribution.
I folded some clothes.

I got on a t-shirt.
I got on some jeans.
I got a scrunchie in my hair.
It's too hard to rhyme these things.

We're going to the mall.
We're going to the Post Office.
We're going swimming.
We're going to Pottery Barn.

You sent me a text message.
I sent you a text message.
You sent me a text message.
I sent you a text message.

I haven't decided what to wear on the plane.
I haven't decided what to do on Tuesday.
I haven't decided about the long term.
I haven't decided, okay?

It might be nice in Florida next week.
It might be a fun trip.
It might be a good time to quit smoking.
It might or might not rain.

They wait for a package.
They are not like me.
They talk a lot.
They don't have a clue.

I wish her good luck with her baby.
I wish him good luck with his diet.
I wish you good luck with whatever your doing.
I wish I were comfortably rich.

You are driving to Palm Springs.
You are wearing my favorite sweater.
You were upset about something or other.
You aren't anymore.

My hair is still wet.
My car looks brand new.
My tummy is growling.
My eyes are blue.

I will eat lunch.
I will find a perfect Mother's Day gift.
I will get my hair done next week.
I will buy a stapler.

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May 07, 2008

Hillary Post Mortem

For about the thirteenth time this season, Hillary's obituary is being written by the mainstream media. It might be for good this time.

I remember way back when, the first time they said Hillary was through, I was a real happy camper. Bronco Bomber, I thought, would put a stake in the heart of baby boomer politics. That of course was before Wright, Ayers and Dohrn, Michelle, Rezko, etc.

Now I'm all: Don't give up, Hillary! You're not beaten yet!

I still hate Hillary. A second Clinton presidency would be more disastrous than the first because this time the Clintons will have the benefit of a rubber-stamping Democrat congress. Plus Hillary is way more liberal than Bill was, and as big a liar.

I liked Bronco Bomber for a time because I bought his bullshit. He sounded different, almost Kennedyesque, despite the fact that Obama's resume is laughable compared to JFK's when he became president. But still, compared to Hillary, I thought, better the devil you don't know than the devil you do know.

What's changed? I no longer trust Bronco Bomber. I think he's the Manchurian candidate. And even if Obama were what he wants us to believe he is, I can't trust that his administration wouldn't be filled with anti-American commies like the type of people he seems to want to hang aroung with. If Obama became president, thousands of Ayerses and Wrights would flock to Washington D.C. for low level patronage jobs where they can destroy this country in obscurity. Remember Jamie Gorelick? Think Jamie Gorelick on steroids, but an entire fifth column of them.

On the other hand, it's possible Bronco Bomber might be easier to beat than Hillary. I don't think he knows how to take a punch. What worries me is that McCain won't have the guts to go after him. Bomber needs to be swift-boated, but you can bet any time he is criticized his campaign will cry racism. We saw with the NCGOP ad controversy, that McCain doesn't have the stomach for that fight. Thank goodness there are surrogates enough on our side who will do McCain's job for him.

The best of all possible outcomes (and you already knew this) would have been for Hillary to stay in the race all the way to the convention and somehow survive the first ballot, then twist arms until she got a back-room deal for the nomination. Then it's goodbye black vote and goodbye youth vote.* The Democratic big-wigs can't allow that to happen, so it looks like their plan is to call the contest early and hope the Clintons take the hint. That's why every MSM story you see today says that the race is over.

It may or may not be over. I hope Hillary stays in it to the bitter end, even if she doesn't beat Obama. But the bottom line is this: if the Democrats want to be stupid enough to nominate Bronco Bomber, more power to 'em. I like our chances.
_______________

* As if the Democrats have ever been able to count on the so-called "youth vote," otherwise known as the biggest fucking myth in American politics.

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