just trying to eat my waffles

December 30, 2006

Hussein's Execution

I feel compelled to throw a wet blanket over some of the triumphalism I see in the blogosphere over Saddam Hussein's execution. I don't think it's a cause for Americans to be celebrating. I say this not because I'm ambivalent about the death penalty, but because we did not invade Iraq in order to kill Saddam Hussein.

We invaded Iraq to bring democracy to that part of the world, because doing so will in theory make us safer here at home. Not only have we not yet succeeded in that purpose, but our ultimate success (as well as the very theory our plan is based upon) is very much in doubt right now. No matter how much Saddam may have deserved what he got, I'd just rather save my celebrating for the day our troops return home victorious.

Posted by: annika at 12:53 PM | Comments (40) | Add Comment
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1 A long-term project requires celebration of intermediate milestones, as well as of the ultimate achievement. It was entirely appropriate for Americans to celebrate the victory at the Battle of Midway, even though ultimate triumph was a long way off.

Posted by: david foster at December 30, 2006 01:00 PM (/Z304)

2 Ahh but was it appropriate for the Germans to celebrate Market-Garden? Or the Confederacy to celebrate Chancellorsville? Maybe, but they still lost. If we end up losing this fight, and all we have to show for it is we killed Saddam... I just don't see the execution as a milestone. Saddam's capture? Yes, that was a milestone. Zarqawi's death was a milestone. The constitution and the elections were definitely milestones. Civil war with no end in sight and no hint of a fucking clue how to get it done before the Democrats take over and pull the plug? That is NOT a milestone.

Posted by: annika at December 30, 2006 01:12 PM (1EshY)

3 Is it just me, or do you feel kinda bad for Saddam? I didn't feel any sense of satisfaction learning that he was hung, but I did feel a sense of "loss." (?) I don't know what it is exactly, but seeing the noose draped over his neck made me feel horrible. I didn't like seeing it at all. Call me crazy...

Posted by: Rob at December 30, 2006 04:49 PM (o0jpu)

4 I am sorry Saddam was hanged. He should have been executed by putting him in plastic shredder. He and his sons shredded over 10,000 people with the victim's families forced to watch the proceedings.

Posted by: Jake at December 30, 2006 05:11 PM (V6rxT)

5 It seems like what he did with his life while here on Earth is so bad that there isn't enough we could do to him to repay everyone he hurt.

Posted by: Joules at December 30, 2006 05:38 PM (u4CYb)

6 Yes Rob, you're crazy, and Anni, you're addled. Take a chill pill. Things are never as bad or as good as they seem. We've finally reached the point where we can take the hobbles off the ISF, and let them whack the Sunni's who don't want to get with the democracy thing. When we let the Kurds and Shites execute their own tactics, we'll be on the road to victory, because they're ethnically cleanse the Sunnis right the fuck out of town. Then there will be peace. BTW, it's OK to celebrate every score, even a safety. Saddam dieing is part of the process. It should have happened sooner, and his head should be pickled in a jar of formaldehyde, but you can't have Christmas everyday.

Posted by: Casca at December 30, 2006 05:48 PM (2gORp)

7 Interesting, Rob... actually, when I saw the pictures and read the story on CNN.com, my basic, gut reaction was fear. I cannot for the life of me explain it or justify it or even understand it, but when I saw that he was dead, I just felt... afraid. (???) I really don't know why. It probably won't come as a huge surprise that I'm no fan of the death penalty. Killing people just never feels like a victory to me. Killing a bad person doesn't undo the harm he's caused. Don't get me wrong, Saddam was a horrible horrible person and as much as I hate death and suffering, people like him make me glad that my faith teaches that people like him get their comeuppance in the afterlife. He's Satan's problem now, and I can't say that makes me sorry. At the same time, I can't say that it makes me overjoyed either. We're still in Iraq, American soldiers and innocent Iraqi civilians are still dying in numbers I cannot be okay with, and there's no clear end -- or objective, even -- in sight. In all, the execution does seem like something of a letdown... probably because it's so symbolic. So much was emotionally built up into this execution, when the bottom line is that the problem isn't Saddam. The problem is evil. There's evil in the world, and plenty of it to go around, and killing Saddam doesn't even make a dent. And now that Saddam's gone we have fewer people to blame for all that's fucked up with the world. Soon we'll have to start blaming ourselves. Hmm. Maybe that's the part that scared me. ::commences ignoring attacks on her intelligence, etc., from casca::

Posted by: The Law Fairy at December 30, 2006 06:27 PM (XUsiG)

8 Execution for Saddam was too easy and short. If it had been up to me, I'd have kept the son-of-a-bitch alive, not because of any squeamishness over death penalties, but because I'd want to make clear his life was no longer his own. I'd keep him in solitary confinement for the whole time and deny him *any* access to the outside world; no books, no TV or radio, no stimulation whatsoever. His jailers would be forbidden to even speak to him or otherwise acknowledge his existence; they'd just leave food in his cell without a word. No human contact whatsoever from there on out. No leaving his tiny cell period. No daylight, no pictures or decorations, nothing but a bed, sink and toilet. No windows... I mean absolutely cutting him off from ever experiencing anything of the outside world from the sentencing on. I'd have just let him exist, not live. And his cell would have some one way mirrors... So that years down the road, parents could bring their children to see him, and say "Look. There's the butcher. He killed hundreds of thousands. He brutalized this whole country. And now, this is the price he pays for that. His life is no longer anything more than an object lesson. His life doesn't belong to him anymore." But... That's all irrelevant now. The hangman's noose took care of that. -------- Anyway, Anni's got a point. What happens to Saddam primarily matters to Iraqis, not so much us here in America. What's important to *us* is that Iraq eventually becomes the antithesis of what Saddam stood for. And oddly enough, his living or dying has next to nothing to do with that.

Posted by: elmondohummus at December 30, 2006 10:21 PM (BjOjj)

9 I think this is very symbolic for Iraqis. Essentially it is their new republic saying "We aren't going to tolerate folks like this anymore." I would urge anyone feeling even the slightest tinge of sympathy for this cat to nip it in the bud stat! I'm not saying this is any kind of military milestone but for the moment we should indulge the people of Iraq.

Posted by: Mike C. at December 31, 2006 07:12 AM (0Co69)

10 What's most interesting about the spectacle is watching the media do what they do best, nothing. Not a peep of anything having to do with U.S. support of Saddam, before, during, and after most all of his worst crimes. Not a peep about how up until the day before Kuwait Bush I gave him another billion. Not a peep about how the U.S. helping him gas the Iranians. Not a peep about how, with the help of the C.I.A., he was put into power in the first place. Not a peep about the illegality of the war in the first place. Not a peep about much of anything other than he's dead. Yea! Whoopee! We helped kill a killer who we supported! Yea for us! There's little doubt that this was nothing more than a political action and probably had little to do with law at all. For if it did, and we've decided to actually start applying the laws, for once, there are a few others who will no doubt be in trouble pretty soon. This is pretty much a case of "Look how great it is the monster's gone!" "Look what WE did!" "We got him!" "Everything can be better now!" (Camera 1: Pan to the 100 or so cheering Iraqis screaming "He's dead! He's dead!") (Camera 2: Cut to one of the "legal experts" to keep everyone busy so that we don't have to talk about all of those things kb mentioned above) (CUT to commercial selling Hanging Saddam dolls at The American Enterprise Institute. Zoom in on Kissinger punching the gallow door drop over and over) Get ready for the "in-depth" interview with three pundits who go into great detail about where the gallow was constructed, whether or not Saddam was wearing Old Spice when he refused the hood, and if his last meal was some of the spam they found in his hole in the ground. (After that just push the replay tape loop button and go on home for the week.) You've all done a really good job at showing what really happens in the world. Yes, we ARE the "liberal media" and do such a great job of really shedding light on how the real world works.kb

Posted by: kb at December 31, 2006 07:45 AM (cOyko)

11 The trouble with leaving him alive in solitary, is that we cannot predict the future of Iraq. For all we know, Sunnis may rise again and control Iraq, thus setting the stage for a triumphant return of Saddam. This is a real risk that was not acceptable to the goverment or to us. Better the asshole is dead and buried. But, the suggestion of the clear shredder was a good one. Allah Akbar, indeed...

Posted by: shelly at December 31, 2006 10:10 AM (SLFj+)

12 Good one Shelly, LF I'm sure that you were the smartest girl in high school with the highest score on every test; that you distinguished yourself in college with all sorts of academic awards, and that your law school professors hold you in thier highest regard, and you didn't even fuck any of them. The romantic world view is at home in academia. One succeeds there without being in touch with reality. In our culture one may spend a lifetime there and NEVER confront reality. We've done the same thing with most of the rest of our culture. That's why so much of American life is turned on it's head. This is a product of feminization of the culture, and you are a prime example. That's why your initial reaction is fear. The initial masculine reaction is satisfaction a bit tainted because of the delay. Going to war requires all of the masculine virtues; realism, strength, reason, etc... . Romanticism is an anchor around your neck when you go to war. You may talk of gin and beer when you're quartered safe out here, and sent to petty fights in aldershotit, but when it comes to slaughter, you'll do your work on water, and lick the bloomin' boots of him what's got it. Having smoke blown up your ass about how great you are for twenty years can fuck up your mind, and make it hard to get a reality check on your thinking. Is it so hard to grasp that you know nothing of either the reality of war, or Iraq? What number of deaths WOULD work for you?

Posted by: Casca at December 31, 2006 10:50 AM (2gORp)

13 I WEPT when I read about this heroic act of selflessness by these young citizens of the World! I hold onto these small isles of inlightinment to have hope in an increasingly fascistic and rascist world.

Posted by: kb at December 31, 2006 12:11 PM (cOyko)

14 Saddam's execution was a matter of Iraqi law. His execution isn't a victory for the US, it's one for Iraq. A newly formed and elected government applied its laws to their former tyrant. He was allowed all due process under that system of law, tried, found guilty, sentence carried out. Done. I don't celebrate his death, but I don't lose any sleep over it. For the US, there is a long way to go. As Annika says, the outcome is far from certain. But then I don't think of this as the "War in Iraq" but rather the "Battle for Iraq", because the actual war is much larger in scope.

Posted by: bob at December 31, 2006 04:28 PM (D3RjI)

15 Is K.B. related to M.B.(Strawman), by any chance?

Posted by: reagan80 at December 31, 2006 07:58 PM (4VV/k)

16 I'm glad those young children are studying Islam too. Knowledge is always a good thing. And in order to truly understand the scope of racism and facism in this world, they should next study how religious and ethnic minorities fare in predominantly muslim societies. They'll see persecution and oppression far in excess of anything experienced by those living in Western nations like America.

Posted by: elmondohummus at December 31, 2006 08:50 PM (BjOjj)

17 I actually am celebrating his death. With roses and wine. Sure, I'm something of a ghoul, but I'm a romantic one and that's all that really matters these days, isn't it? If I were to take umbrage with just one of Annie's points, it would be this: Iraq wasn't invaded to free folks. As I remember it, WMD had something to do with it initially. Freedom started being used as something more than rhetorical device after the boots were in the dirt. Freedom's a pretty nifty thing, but I'm not that its all that practical when you're giving it to villagers who've wanted nothing more than the freedom to slaughter one another for a century. If we should've learned anything from the dissolution of Yugoslavia, it should've been that. Here's the dirty little secret of Yugoslavia, freedom, Iraq and artificial countries generally; Tito kept the populace from killing each other by doing it for them. Saddam did the same, albeit it in far more chilling way. Destroy the tyrant and you destroy the country.

Posted by: skippystalin at December 31, 2006 11:16 PM (OzEoC)

18 Folks, the thing you peaceniks need to understand is that terrorism is bad enough when it is insurgent, but when it is state sponsored, the assets permit intolerable success. The weapons of mass destruction once existed, of that we are sure, and we have about a million Kurds to prove it. Whether they did when we went into Iraq is meaningless; they would have existed if Saddam had his way, and probably do exist somewhere in Syria as we debate. The thought of Iran possessing those same WMD's is intolerable to the civilized world. For all the preached political correctness, there is no power on earth that can prevent the Israelis from taking out those facilities, once the Mossad deciders they have gotten too close to operational. Bob's right; this is just a battle in Iraq. The War is far from over, it is just the beginning of the beginning, and it will exist for the rest of my lifetime, and probably my childrens' and grandchildrens' as well. We're in this thing to end, folks. It is us or them. Wake up, they want to fucking kill us all, even you pansies who will welcome them with flowers. God Bless George W. Bush, Don Rumsfeld, Condoleeza Rice and Dick Cheney, who will be recorded in history as having the courage to face this mortal threat at the cost of their careers. These people are true heroes and will be respected in the years to come, much the same as Truman and Reagan, both of whom left office with unpopular numbers as well.

Posted by: shelly at January 01, 2007 04:20 AM (SLFj+)

19 There were two great programs on The History Channel on Saturday. The first was Washington's Generals, none of whom would survive in the modern zero-defects culture. The second was about guerilla warfare during reconstruction after the Civil War. When the Rebels laid down their arms, they had their fingers crossed. They had no intention of freeing their negroes, nevermind equality. The spirit of the Confederacy hung on into the 1960's. There's the analogy. The Sunnis will not go quietly into the dark night. There's a real bloodbath coming, and it will be the Kurds and the Shites stomping on the Sunnis. When it's over the Sunnis will be in Syria, or dead.

Posted by: Casca at January 01, 2007 07:09 AM (2gORp)

20 Once again I am forced to agree with Casca, Like a blunt instrument, he is crude but effective. As for hand wringing about Saddam, hey its real simple. He killed about a half a million people. What ever happened to all those oaths after WW2 that it would never be allowed to happen again? After going through a period of doubt, I am now fairly certain that the Iraqis will be able to establish a lasting civil government. Like Casca said, we will have to sort of turn our backs while they do what is necessary to bring the recalcitrant Sunni's into line.

Posted by: kyle8 at January 01, 2007 08:10 AM (Ng/nU)

21 Crude? It's called clarity of thought.

Posted by: Casca at January 01, 2007 10:50 AM (2gORp)

22 Youth does not understand the wisdom acquired from experience. How can it, when all it has to call upon is the mainstream media and the constant drumbeat of the liberal establishment? Casca gets it, guys. It will take some more Islamic atrocities to finally drive home the message to those unbelievers, but, in the end, I have the confidence that the sleeping giant will once again awaken and stomp out the menace that is Islam. If I'm wrong, we're all dead.

Posted by: shelly at January 01, 2007 12:36 PM (SLFj+)

23 Saddam's execution perfectly represents the farce of our operations in Iraq: a fundamentally justifiable outcome occurred, but it was undertaken by what was, in effect, a Shia death squad, and Saddam reaped a pyrrhic victory in dying by being the only person to behave with any dignity during his execution. So we get to put a check in our score column, while the ludicrous and basically anti-American Iraqi regime that we installed democratically commits atrocities and genocide against Sunnis and victor's justice against former regime figures under the security umbrella we have provided them. Oh, and they get to team up with Iran when it's all over. Yipee!!!

Posted by: Roach at January 01, 2007 09:39 PM (+/dZk)

24 Don't bet on the Iraqi's and Iranians teaming up - ever. Iraqis are Arabs and Iranians are Persians, and never the twain shall meet.

Posted by: shelly at January 02, 2007 04:11 AM (SLFj+)

25 Colonialism is a messy bidniz, ask Kipling. Oh, I know what you're thinking. But, FDR was a fucking socialist. If the Brits kept their empire post WWII, they'd have ready cash, and a handle on all these crackpots, and we wouldn't be mucking about with camelfuckers.

Posted by: Casca at January 02, 2007 07:36 AM (Y7t14)

26 Raygun, Nope, never met the guy but he does make many of the points that should concern all and those which all of you wish to sweep under the table. Saddam was a good tyrant as long as he was serving our purposes. He killed wantonly, violated human rights and surely had WMD's which were fine as long as he was using them against Iran. Shelly, we sure know he had them, you dolt, we sold them to him. This fact escapes you? Or now that it has been decided that he is a bad tyrant we can simply ignore his history and our funding and support? We are pimps and he was a street walker who left our stable. What fools you are to think this incursion and adventure had altruistic motives. This is power politics plain and simple. Get a beach-head right in the heart of the ME, scare the shit out of America and tell them this will make them secure. From Iraq we can apply pressure both militaristic and political to bring this area and its resources more firmly under our control and thwart the Chinese. The Bush team of criminals clearly blew it. Even if you agree with their not so hidden agenda they had no fucking idea of what they were doing, clung way too long to a bad plan and any voice to the contrary was crushed by the enforcer, Sick Dick Cheney. Killing Saddam feels bad to so many because it is tainted by all the deceptions, moving motives, lies and wanton killing on our part. We have disrupted this country to an extent that makes many Iraqi's wish for the good old days of Saddam and a dependable way of life. Clearly many feared him and many suffered at his hands, but the majority led lives of indifference and enjoyed their quotidian existence: children off to school, mom and dad off to decent jobs, 5 cent gas, nice roads to travel, museums, university and cafe life. None of them sat around bemoaning their inability to vote. That's the joke of Democracy: our belief that it is like gold-coveted by those who don't posses it. The tragedy is our hubris and childish pride that insists all who don't have it must want it even if it kills them as we stuff it down their throats. It's a global political version of a mother and her child that won't eat vegetables except that greens will make them grow up big and strong and democracy has no guarantees and certainly won't benefit those who choked to death.

Posted by: strawman at January 02, 2007 09:43 AM (9ySL4)

27 Begone Fucktard!

Posted by: Casca at January 02, 2007 09:48 AM (Y7t14)

28 Casca, Talk about clinging to an inneffective plan. Did you learn your craft sitting at Rumnuts' side?

Posted by: strawman at January 02, 2007 10:24 AM (9ySL4)

29 Pejorative sobriquets are the last refuge of those who have lost the argument.

Posted by: shelly at January 02, 2007 10:32 AM (SLFj+)

30 Just more empty words Shelly, Casca clearly ain't listening.

Posted by: strawman at January 02, 2007 10:40 AM (9ySL4)

31 Straw, Pitting Iraq versus Iran in the 80's made perfect sense. We need not nor should not apologize for it. Priorities change when situations on the ground change. So, throwing out the "we supported him" canard is silly because it is not an argument. Regarding the execution, I could not get excited. I don't support the death penalty. However, I do hope his victims families felt some sort of justice. He and his cronies were the worst sort of human beings. Your boy Castro will be joining them in their VIP room in Hell very soon.

Posted by: blu at January 02, 2007 11:12 AM (LtzGE)

32 Whose the moral relativist now? It is an argument if you are saying he is a bad man threatening our life in America when you know full well he is not because you know everything about him because he is your product. Nice to hear you do not support the death penality.

Posted by: strawman at January 02, 2007 11:33 AM (9ySL4)

33 But I DO support the death penalty, And killing terrorists by the thousands like we have done in Iraq and Afghanistan. And all your booing and hooing is just music to my ears.

Posted by: kyle8 at January 02, 2007 03:01 PM (QGxX6)

34 Just more empty words Shelly, Casca clearly ain't listening. Posted by strawman on Jan. 2, 2007 I was talking to YOU, asshole.

Posted by: shelly at January 02, 2007 04:20 PM (SLFj+)

35 Gosh Shelly, How was I supposed to know. The only one around here who consistantly uses "Pejorative sobriquets" and consistantly can't refute facts is old Kashka. Well, that is other than you. "I perdict we'll kick their asses in the mid terms and pick up seats in both houses" you were heard to say on numerious occasions. Good judge of the American stomach for futile wars. You guys are in a burning house and you resent the firefighters asking you to leave. But leave you will because when push comes to courage you have none. You are Just rightwing loyalists who as D. Brooks said tonight, are "too willing to swap party loyality for the truth". You guys have gone down, your president with whom you share the loving,haas gone down and will, if there is a just diety, go to the Hague someday as a war criminal, and history will treat him like the ignorant lying Annelida he is. You all have the blood of 3000 vibrant, young, men and women on your hands. They have died defending and supporting the illconceived, constantly changing wishes of an idiot. An ideologue and his flacks who know as much about the midle east and the people of Islam as a coonhound. Their efforts have come to NOTHING. Not one, for the better, fucking thing. Not one. None. And you still don't weep for them, nor will you look at the battlefield and say enough! There were no terrorists in Iraq, just your run on the mill Islamists who despised America and your generally complacent Iraqi's who did not but certainly do now. Quite a success. Wolfowitz, Pearle have slinked away mumbling about their miscalculations, Powell is humiliated and Rice would still lie for him if he would only smile at her and she is still schleping her rictus face around the world achieving nothing. Somebody should smack her with an aluminum bat because aluminum bats were, in fact, manufactured to be used for one thing.

Posted by: strawman at January 02, 2007 06:55 PM (9ySL4)

36 Begone, Fucktard!

Posted by: shelly at January 02, 2007 09:24 PM (SLFj+)

37 We went to Iraq because we were told that the U.S. was in danger of imminent attack from Saddam Hussein because of all those Weapons of Mass Destruction he had. When it was revealed he had none, it was only then that the American People were told that we had invaded Iraq to spread democracy.

Posted by: Steve Bryant at January 03, 2007 08:51 AM (RcKtK)

38 Steve, thanks for removing all doubt.

Posted by: Casca at January 03, 2007 09:07 AM (Y7t14)

39 Steve Bryant, There was never a threat and everybody who was part of promulgating the threat knew it. It was all lies. Jezzz, who by this this time doesn't know this? Aluminum tubes, mobile weapons trailers, yellow cake (which even it it were true is so fucking distant from a weapon that its laughable), mushroom clouds, anthrax, Al Qaida meetings, etc. none of it was ever true and nobody who said it was believed it was at the time they said it. We wanted the bastard out, we want the access to the oil and the influence (bases) in the ME. It was all a RISK Game to the cabal and they lost. They were and still are inept, willfully misinformed, monarchists who have sacrificed the principals of our Democracy at the alter of their vainglorious debacle. Its too bad that some of you think that was all a good thing, that your powerful fear and loathing after 911 was sucessfully pandered to and misdirected into the strawman of Iraq.

Posted by: strawman at January 03, 2007 10:13 AM (9ySL4)

40 Casca wrote: "When we let the Kurds and Shites execute their own tactics, we'll be on the road to victory, because they're ethnically cleanse the Sunnis right the f___ out of town. Then there will be peace." And SA et al will stand by for this? "Clarity of thought"? However, I do agree with you on the History Channel's Saturday shows, as Washington's General's, while highly abbreviated, was a good lesson in history for most Americans. That includes the segment on Lafayette. "I have the confidence that the sleeping giant will once again awaken and stomp out the menace that is Islam." Another person who wants to abolish the Constitution. No clarity of thought here, unfortunately... "Pejorative sobriquets are the last refuge of those who have lost the argument." Physician, heal thyself.

Posted by: will at January 04, 2007 12:31 PM (GzvlQ)

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Be Afraid, Be Very Afraid

It is a semi well known fact that the number of Elvis impersonators in the world has increased exponentially since the singer's death in 1977. But how many of you know just how pronounced and dangerous the trend is?

According to the San Francisco Chronicle

When Elvis Presley died in 1977, there were an estimated 37 Elvis impersonators in the world. By 1993, there were 48,000 Elvis impersonators, an exponential increase. Extrapolating from this, by 2010 there will be 2.5 billion Elvis impersonators. The population of the world will be 7.5 billion by 2010. Every 3rd person will be an Elvis impersonator by 2010.

That's one third of the Earth's total population, or 22,500,000,000 people. I don't know about you, but I'm not sure I want to be an Elvis impersonator.

To be sure, not all of the finest workings of global population science is yet fully understood to the finest grain. However, all of the basics are absolutely clear. The Elvis impersonator crisis is real, humans are causing the problem, and the solutions are available to us now. It is not too late to avoid the worst. All that is needed is the political will to act.

h/t Some Words To Not.

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Peter Pumpkin The Spectacular Pumpkin, Episode 68

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Top Story Of 2006

The new poll is up on the sidebar!

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December 29, 2006

Peter Pumpkin The Spectacular Pumpkin, Episode 67

Peter, like his creator, has many irons in the fire.

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Lindsay Logan At Scores

More wisdom from the brain of Lindsay Logan:

I mean we're talkin' like, upper and inner thigh action -bruised . . . like a walking black-and-blue mark. I mean really though, really, I didn't know it was actually possible to have bruises in such areas of the body.

What's she talking about?

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1 If I was her manager, I would tell her to keep her panties on and her mouth shut.

Posted by: Jake at December 29, 2006 05:55 PM (V6rxT)

2 Easy there Jake, dumb sluts have their place in the universe too, particularly at closing time.

Posted by: Casca at December 29, 2006 06:20 PM (2gORp)

3 Oh, what, did Ms. Logan (*snicker*) lose control of a particularly active vibrator or something??? I mean ouch! Inner thigh bruises? What the hell, that's more than just the work of a few D cells there, don't'cha know. Car battery, minimum. VvvvvrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!!

Posted by: elmondohummus at December 29, 2006 09:25 PM (BjOjj)

4 Okay, I finally clicked the link (Oh, c'mon!! Not RTFA'ing is a time-honored habit on the web!). In a way, I'm disappointed. Nothing says cliched, " The (former) Drunken Party Ho" like amateur poledancing at a "Gentlemen's" club. Can't she at least try to be innovative in her party ho-ness? And dammit, if she's gonna be sashayin' around the brass pole, she'd better be two sheets and a bottle of Jack to the wind, and f*** that sobriety s***. Otherwise, she won't be relaxed enough to do it right. Nobody is relaxed enough to do it right unless they're two sips away from being fully honked. I have it on good authority that the professional poledancing rule is "slicker when liquored", and not even the skankiest ho - or best dancer, regardless of ho-ness - can be slinkey enough for the brass pole w/o a liberal application of liquid muscle-relaxant. Cas, back me up here: you can always tell the sober dancers on stage from the, er... slicker ones. Right???

Posted by: elmondohummus at December 29, 2006 09:44 PM (BjOjj)

5 wow, mondo, you are a font of knowledge. i think Lindsay is mediocre in just about everything she tries, acting, singing, even being a skank.

Posted by: annika at December 29, 2006 11:58 PM (1EshY)

6 I'll have to think about that. I've never been a fan of pole dancing, unless it's my pole. They tend to put that thing at the back of the stage, and I like a closeup view. I think LL was right in the first place when she said they were all "whores". I do believe that is their business; i.e. getting as much money as they can while giving as little away as possible. Kind of like... well I won't go there.

Posted by: Casca at December 30, 2006 12:12 AM (2gORp)

7 Again with the "Lindsay Logan"? Annie, are you drunk?!

Posted by: Tuning Spork at December 30, 2006 12:43 AM (ThlbL)

8 Well, you know, that's... uhhh... ummmm... errr... What I've been told. Yeeeaah! That's right! What people have told me! Not like I have any personal experience whatsoever on this topic ...

Posted by: elmondohummus at December 30, 2006 08:07 AM (BjOjj)

9 Spork, I think Anni's just trying to avoid the search engine hits from using LL's proper name. And getting all those love letters from buck-toothed, lonely, trailer-park loser hill-jacks (e.g. Bubba a.k.a "Lorenzo") thinking she's really LL herself, as well as as all those "love" letters from LL's fans commenting on her view of said (formerly) Drunken Party Ho. She's complained about the problem before. Hell, I think I'd do the same if I kept getting email & posts from the bubblegum and hormones set.

Posted by: elmondohummus at December 30, 2006 08:18 AM (BjOjj)

10 "bubblegum and hormones set", you're starting to sound like Shelly. Speaking of whom, I have not been receiving my daily dozen emails from him. Has anyone checked to see if he's still fogging a mirror? More likely, he's laying low in preparation for his Trojan ass fucking by the Wolverines on Monday. BTW Anni, congrats on creaming the aggies. They don't make as much noise after they've been beat.

Posted by: Casca at December 30, 2006 11:31 AM (2gORp)

11 I don't know Annika, I think she's got the skank thing mastered.

Posted by: Mike C. at December 31, 2006 06:48 AM (0Co69)

12 Sorry to disappoint, Cas, but I got away to the desert for 10 days R & R, and had to slow down the volume. The laptop is too small and it takes too long to use it. I wish I had the confidence in this game, tomorrow, but there are two USC teams here. I'm just not sure if the one that kicked the whoopie out of Notre Dame is going to show up, or the pussies who lost to UCLA will be there. If the real USC team shows up, it should be a good one; if not, it'll be an asskicking, and USC will have the proverbial one leg...

Posted by: shelly at January 01, 2007 04:31 AM (SLFj+)

13 OK, folks, all is right with the world tonight. USC showed why they will be ranked Number One again next season, but we'll have to wait another year until we can test against The Big Red Nutmegs. Casca reports that that the OSU blogs contain one that said "Who told USC that they could slap around our bitch?" Now, that is funny...except if you bleed blue.

Posted by: shelly at January 01, 2007 08:46 PM (SLFj+)

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Kraken Caught Off Chichi Jima

Two years ago someone shot film of a giant squid swimming in the deep. Now someone's caught one. It's believed to be the first time anyone has ever done such a thing, ever.

Giant squid, formally called Architeuthis, are the world's largest invertebrates. Because they live in the depths of the ocean, they have long been wrapped in mystery and embellished in the folklore of sea monsters, appearing in ancient Greek myths or attacking the submarine in Jules Verne's "20,000 Leagues Under the Sea."
The captured squid was caught using a smaller type of squid as bait, and was pulled into a research vessel "after putting up quite a fight," Kubodera said.
"It took two people to pull it in, and they lost it once, which might have caused the injuries that killed it," he said.
The squid, a female, was not fully grown and was relatively small by giant squid standards. The longest one on record is 60 feet, he said.

More giant squid blogging from the depths of the annika's journal archives, here.

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December 28, 2006

Happy Christmas!

I hope you all got exactly what you wanted!

h/t Pursuit.

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December 27, 2006

Wednesday is MAD Poetry Day: MAD Magazine

It's a gas!

The Night Before Christmas, 1999 or St. Nicholas Meets the Population Explosion
(with apologies to Clement Clarke Moore)

'Twas the night before Christmas,
And all through the gloom
Not a creature was stirring;
There just wasn't room;
The stockings were hanging
In numbers so great,
We feared that the walls
Would collapse from the weight!

The children like cattle
Were packed off to bed;
We took a quick count;
There were three-hundred head;
Not to mention the grown-ups--
Those hundreds of dozens
Of uncles and inlaws
And twice-removed cousins!

When outside the house
There arose such a din!
I wanted to look
But the mob held me in;
With pushing and shoving
And cursing out loud,
In forty-five minutes
I squeezed through the crowd!

Outside on the lawn
I could see a fresh snow
Had covered the people
Asleep down below;
And up in the sky
What should strangely appear
But an overweight sleigh
Pulled by countless reindeer!

They pulled and they tugged
And they wheezed as they came,
And the red-suited driver
Called each one by name:
"Now, Dasher! Now, Dancer!
Now, Prancer and Vixen!
On, comet! On, Cupid!
On Donder and Blitzen!"

"Now, Melvin! Now, Marvin!
Now, Albert and Jasper!
On, Sidney! On, Seymour!
On Harvey and Casper!
Now, Clifford! Now, Max"--
But he stopped, far from through;
Our welcoming house-top
Was coming in view!

Direct to our house-top
The reindeer then sped
With the sleigh full of toys
And St. Nick at the head;
And then like an earthquake
I heard on the roof
The clomping and pounding
Of each noisy hoof!

Before I could holler
A warning of doom,
The whole aggregation
Fell into the room;
And under a mountain
Of plaster and brick
Mingled inlaws and reindeer
And me and St. Nick;

He panted and sighed
Like a man who was weary;
His shoulders were stooped
And his outlook was dreary:
"I'm way behind schedule,"
He said with a sigh,
"And I've been on the road
Since the first of July!"

'Twas then that I noticed
The great, monstrous sack,
Which he barely could hold
On his poor, creaking back;
"Confound it!" he moaned,
"Though my bag's full of toys,
I'm engulfed by the birthrate
Of new girls and boys!"

Then, filling the stockings,
He shook his sad face,
"This job is a killer!
I can't take the pace!
This cluttered old world
Is beyond my control!
There are even millions
Up at the North Pole!"

"Now I'm late!" he exclaimed, "And I really must hurry!
By now I should be over Joplin, Missouri!"
But he managed to sigh as he drove out of sight,
"Happy Christmas to all, and to all a good night!"

Yeah, that looks like Christmas

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1 Mince Pie

Posted by: Casca at December 27, 2006 10:07 AM (2gORp)

2 Twas the night before Christmas, and all through the house, The whole damn family was drunk as a louse. Ma just from the cathouse, and I from the jail, had just settled down for a good piece of tail. When out from the yard there arose such a clatter, I jumped off of Ma to see what's the matter. Away to the window I went like a flash Threw open the shutters and fell flat on my ass. When what to my old bloodshot eyes did appear, A fat assed old man & some run down reindeer Dressed all in red fur and pounding his d***, I knew that old bastard just had to be Saint Nick As drunk, and f***'d up - and I was the same -, he bitched and he swore and he called them by name. "On Donder, on Blitzen. Quick! Over the walls! Hurry now dammit, or I'll cut off your balls." Then up to the roof he stumbled and fell, And came down the chimney like a bat outta hell. He staggered and stumbled and couldn't stand right, That sonuvabitch, drunk, and high as a kite. He spoke not a word, but instead stood and hurled, Such a chunky bile stream, my hair went and curled. He put his finger up by his red nose, and stammered and slurred his dumb stupid prose. And I heard him slur this as he passed out of sight, "Piss on you all, it's one hell of a night".

Posted by: elmondohummus at December 27, 2006 03:16 PM (C6QSe)

3 My daughter occasionally reports learning at the high school that there are too many people in the world. Bunch o'crap, I tell her, but if there's a population explosion it's France's fault. I hear their government's paying young French families to have kids and stay home with them for the first few years.

Posted by: Joules at December 27, 2006 06:05 PM (u4CYb)

4 Man this place has major suckage going on. Anni must be crisping her incommunicado ass in a tropical third world hideaway. Gawd, I hope she's not stealing babies in Africa.

Posted by: Casca at December 28, 2006 08:50 AM (2gORp)

5 Damn you woman! How can you leave us in the hands of the village idiot? I've been reduced to going to the pathetic whiner Moxie's site where one can find an unending stream of self-absorbed pap disguised as thought. She pretends to be a conservative to confuse her adolescent admirers, but she is a defacto totalitarian. Besides being a snorefest, she sucks ass.

Posted by: Casca at December 28, 2006 09:40 AM (2gORp)

6 From A Christmas Carol: ``Since you ask me what I wish, gentlemen, that is my answer. I don't make merry myself at Christmas and I can't afford to make idle people merry. I help to support the establishments I have mentioned: they cost enough: and those who are badly off must go there.'' ``Many can't go there; and many would rather die.'' ``If they would rather die,'' said Scrooge, ``they had better do it, and decrease the surplus population."

Posted by: annika at December 28, 2006 12:23 PM (1EshY)

7 Hey!!! Up yours, Cas! I'm the whole state's idiot, than you very much!!

Hmmph... Villiage... Passed that level a long time ago...

Posted by: elmondohummus at December 28, 2006 03:48 PM (BjOjj)

8 Of course you have El. I was referring to the idiot who posts uninteresting day-old shit every Wednesday.

Posted by: Casca at December 28, 2006 10:27 PM (2gORp)

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December 22, 2006

Movie Recommendation

Here's a quick movie recommendation: Little Miss Sunshine. I gave it four stars. The cast is fantastic (it's exhibit A for why the Academy should have a special Oscar for casting), especially Greg Kinnear, Steve Carell, Alan Arkin. The girl who plays Olive is wonderful. And Chloe from 24 has a small part in it.

It's black comedy with a nice message at the end. Go rent it.

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Christmas Message From Al-Z

This is satirical, so it's okay to watch.

h/t Shelly, Cranky, Linda, Bluto, Allah, and Scott

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December 21, 2006

Moonlighting At 6MB

A masterful piece of photoshopping, if I do say so myself.

And I do.

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Busy Girl

I checked out the Miss Nevada photos, and all I can say is she was working overtime. I can't believe she managed to do all that stuff in one night. She must have been exhausted afterwards. Listen, I had some wild times when I was her age, but dang gurl. Is there anyone in that room she didn't get funky on?

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MNF Pick: Makeup Games

Since I had two unscheduled bye weeks lately (I was too lazy and/or forgot to post by game time) I've chosen two sure winners as makeup games.

The first is tonight's matchup between NFC North rivals Minnesota and Green Bay, both 6 and 8. Brett Favre's middle name has been "interception" every time I pick Green Bay, it seems. But the key facts are these: 1) Minnesota is starting a rookie QB at Lambeau Field; 2) Favre is 40 and 5 at Lambeau when the temperature is below 35, as it will be tonight; and 3) this could be Favre's last home game in his career. Green Bay is favored by 3½ points and I say they will cover.

The next sure thing is Saturday night's game between AFC West rivals Kansas City and Oakland. The Raiders have given up on football this year. They have zero pride. I've never seen a professional sports team that cared less about anything. Plus, Al Davis wants that high draft pick so he can squander it yet again. Just lose, baby. Oakland is only a 6½ point underdog, but the opening line was 3½. I'd be surprised if even 3 people took Oakland with only three points. They'll lose by at least two touchdowns. This should be a slaughter and KC will beat the spread easily.

Parlay these two and laugh at the suckers later.

Update: Fuckin Favre, did it to me again!

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The Christmas Toys Unit

By the way, did anyone else see that lame Rob Lowe Christmas movie the other night? The ending was just about the stupidest ending conceivable. Anyways, Mike Novick was in it. He played Rob Lowe's father. I kept wanting him to say "mister president I urge you to reconsider..."

h/t Mr. Atoz

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~~Quote Of The Day~~ Quotable Quotes*

From Dawn:

I have figured out the meaning of life.
I would tell you, but it would blow your minds.

That Ivy League degree is paying off, Dawn!
_______________

* Name changed so as not to look like I stole it or anything like that.

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December 20, 2006

Peter Pumpkin The Spectacular Pumpkin, Episode 64, 65 & 66

How do you spell mischievous?

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Wednesday is Poetry Day: e.e. cummings

In 1922, as he was finding his voice, e.e. cummings wrote this poem of a tree, as seen thru the eyes of a small child.

little tree
little silent Christmas tree
you are so little
you are more like a flower

who found you in the green forest
and were you very sorry to come away?
see i will comfort you
because you smell so sweetly

i will kiss your cool bark
and hug you safe and tight
just as your mother would,
only don't be afraid

look the spangles
that sleep all the year in a dark box
dreaming of being taken out and allowed to shine,
the balls the chains red and gold the fluffy threads,

put up your little arms
and I'll give them all to you to hold
every finger shall have its ring
and there won't be a single place dark or unhappy

then when you're quite dressed
you'll stand in the window for everyone to see
and how they'll stare!
oh but you'll be very proud

and my little sister and i will take hands
and looking up at our beautiful tree
we'll dance and sing
"Noel Noel"

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December 19, 2006

A Hero You Should Know

Imagine what this nation would be like if the media replaced all their stories about starlets behaving badly with stories about women like Sgt. Kristi J. Artigue.

Â“IÂ’ve always been a risk taker,Â” said Artigue, 23, now a medic with the 141st Medical Company [Connecticut Army National Guard].
On Nov. 10, Artigue called upon the skills learned during her six years of National Guard service -- including a recent deployment to Iraq -- to help save the life of a man who may have drowned.
. . .
Â“Tom,Â” a middle-aged man, had suffered a seizure and fallen into a section of the West River. Unable to swim, he struggled to remain above the surface with the help of several civilians and two West Haven police officers. The chain was trying to hang on until the local fire department rescue crew could arrive . . .
Then the life-defining event happened.
Â“He let loose,Â” said Artigue, Â“and went under for one or two seconds. Long enough to know he wasnÂ’t going to be coming up again. And he was moving out farther from the shore toward the center of the river.Â”
At that point, Artigue let her training take over. The nursing student and Iraq War veteran jumped into the freezing water and swam out about ten feet to where Tom was struggling for air.
Â“It was too cold to talk,Â” said Artigue, Â“but I grabbed his vest and tried to keep him above the water. He grabbed a hold of me and started to pull me down with him, but I was able to drag him by his vest to shore.Â”
. . . On a cold November day, coming out of cold, moving water, communication was difficult, but Artigue was able to keep Tom talking and conscious until emergency crews arrived.

I am continuously amazed at the quality of people who volunteer to serve our country. Swift water rescue is a very dangerous business. I know I wouldn't have jumped in there.

A future trauma nurse, Artigue plans to use her experiences in the Guard and in Iraq to save as many lives as possible.
Â“Since Iraq,Â” she said, Â“IÂ’ve learned to adapt and overcome. I saw what was happening and I had no option but to get involved because of not only my medical training, but also because of my personal responsibility.
Â“I will always appreciate my military experience. ItÂ’s something I would never give up,Â” said Artigue.

Posted by: annika at 09:06 PM | Comments (14) | Add Comment
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1 Another truly top notch serviceperson! I wish I had half the courage.

Posted by: Mike C. at December 20, 2006 03:08 AM (0Co69)

2 Makes up for how many brown people Chimpy sent her to kill for Halliburton?

Posted by: Mr Blade at December 20, 2006 07:10 AM (oUgsy)

3 You cocksuckers always see EVERYTHING as a zero sum gain. Another Will/Strawfuck sock, begone fucktard!

Posted by: Casca at December 20, 2006 08:07 AM (Y7t14)

4 Mr. Blade, if I ever run into you, I'll castrate you and then forcibly fuck the wound like as if you're my menstruating bitch.

Posted by: Spanky at December 20, 2006 08:11 AM (wkyrW)

5 she is a medic you idiot.

Posted by: annika at December 20, 2006 08:18 AM (flFuL)

6 OMGWTFBBQ! I can see why Annie chose that epigram now.

Posted by: reagan80 at December 20, 2006 08:20 AM (wkyrW)

7 Only assholes can try to turn this type of heroism into shit. It is amazing to me how many other idiots follow this line. Just hating Bush makes you want to lose the War on Terror? What don't you understand about the fact that they all want to KILL YOU? This is not Vietnam; they were here killing us way before we went to the Gulf, and but for Bush, they'd be here now. They will follow us home. We need to stop this political correctness and start showing them who is boss. Start with killing fuckers hiding in mosks during Ramadan. It will send the new message.

Posted by: shelly at December 20, 2006 08:47 AM (SLFj+)

8 Shelly, Your are delusional. 5 years, 5 hundred lies and mealy mouthed shuffles and you still believe we are fighting terrorists? We are not and they would have been here now or in the future had they wanted to be or not if they got caught as plenty were prior to 911. We have spent 500 billion, killed 100 thousand, damaged a country beyond repair and have achieved NOTHING! Not one fucking thing other than draining our coffers and then watching it bulge the pockets of a few corporations with their dicks up Chainey's ass. There is no effective government, no support for any government, internecine warefare that we cannot stop, rebuilding they we cannot effect because of security issues and corruption, and you think this was a good fucking plan and an effective promotion of Americas might, and a wall erected against terrorists? This is what you call a stunning response to the anger and rage of 911? And you, dear deluded man, are content to see it continue and to watch this chimp says shit like "when I said we were winning I meant we would be soon or ought to be, or something like that..... " That man is your leader? You've got some pretty low standards, pal, law degree or not, you are out of your mind, just plain delusional. Why the reporters don't just turn their backs on this asshole and walk out of the room laughing is a mystery to me. This soldier did a great thing. Not because she was a soldier but because she was brave person. Soldiering didn't change or give her a good character her parents did. I, who you know would not serve, have also jumped into the surf and rescued a drowning man 200 yards out at the Jersey shore. And I never wore a uniform. Go figure. You just do the things that need to be done. Or you don't. Let's not get nuts about what a soldier is or is not. The are brave and they commit rape, they are heroic and they torture not to mention murder their enemy.

Posted by: strawman at December 20, 2006 01:40 PM (9ySL4)

9 Straw, you manage to go miles out of your way to miss the point. For every one rape there are thousands of good acts that go unnoticed by perpetual pessimists like you. For every one act of torture there are untold acts of mercy. This has been the pattern since the days of Washington, and if you would actually study history instead of your stupid talking points, you'd understand that. And killing the enemy in combat is not murder. Grow a brain. And pick some other forum to drag down; Anni had done nothing here but point out the heroism of one brave soldier, one who stated that her service gave her the tools to commit her act of heroism. It's more than just thought or personality, it's experience, and service did enable her to reach the full potential of her good nature. Which is obviously something the eternally negative like you refuse to understand. Anyway... Anni was doing nothing here but positive commentary, it's you and Blade making the ignorant comments. Go away. Display your stupidity elsewhere.

Posted by: ElMondoHummus at December 20, 2006 03:47 PM (dNphw)

10 Mondohummus, Killing your enemy in combat is not murder, but, and it is a rare occurance, we have cought some soldiers killing civilians and captured resistance fighters for other purposes and trying to cover up the crime with the details of battle. I know it is rare and I have no doubt that our army is a civilized bunch of killers acting out the wishes of their officers, but it is also true that the whole affair is tainted and so much blood has been spilled with no benefit returned to ANYONE! Our nation or theirs and since it was all predicated on lies and ulterior motives you might, in a more moral climate call the whole thing murder. She stated that the service gave her the tools: strength, swimming maybe, some medical knowledge, and confidence. It did not, however, make her the type of person who risks life and limb to save another. that, Elmundo, came to her far earlier in her life. I take nothing away from her and do not wish to drag any discussion of her heroism down. My other comments were directed at those, like Shelly or Casca in the amen corner, who still think there is an ass to kick and that others should die on their behalf trying to do it.

Posted by: strawman at December 20, 2006 04:19 PM (9ySL4)

11 Casca, remind me why we bother to dialogue or engage with these fools. They don't deserve the freedom we provide. Col. Nathan Jessep was right.

Posted by: shelly at December 21, 2006 06:13 AM (SLFj+)

12 Yes Shelly, When logic fails ya and and your gravitas won't pull you through go with the ramblings of a psycho killer.

Posted by: strawman at December 21, 2006 07:27 AM (9ySL4)

13 Straw, You are full of shit if you think she would have dove in the water without the training she had received from the military. The American response to the Boxing Day tsunami alone is the proof of the good of the military and the training it provides the individual who would have to join an emergency service organization to come close to what the military offers. No other organization can pull off the good things they did - no one but the American military. I understand your myopic, pessimistic point of view, I used to have it. The I joined the Marine Corps and found out how wrong and stupid that point of view is. "No better friend, no worse enemy."

Posted by: jcrue at December 21, 2006 01:03 PM (ZDQoM)

14 jcru, I did not doubt the value of her training and I am sure you are correct that that trainng has proven to be very helpful around the world. I don't know where you see something pessimistic about what I have written. I only quibbled with Annika's wide eyed declaration about how wonderfull the people are that join the military based on such slim data. This gal might be a great swimmer who, unbeknownst to Anni and you, smacks her kids around when she gets angry. And I used myself as an example. I have jumped in as she did, and if you were to ask Casca or Shelly, would not get high marks in Americanism since I would not kill VietCong in a fabricated war like Iraq. So, let's tone down the bullshit, admit she did something heroic, and leave it at that.

Posted by: strawman at December 21, 2006 01:29 PM (9ySL4)

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Obligatory Tarac Post

Trump tells the story:

She left a small town in Kentucky, and she was telling me that she got caught up in the whirlwind of New York . . . It's a story that has happened many times before to many women and to many men who came to the Big Apple. They wanted their slice of the Big Apple, and they found out it wasn't so easy.

Sounds like something Steve Perry once sang:

Just a small town girl, livin in a lonely world
She took the midnight train goin anywhere

Or (long as we're quoting SF bands), as the great Rob Weir once sang:

What in the world ever became of sweet Jane?
She lost her sparkle, you know she isn't the same
Living on reds, vitamin C and cocaine
all a friend can say is ain't it a shame . . .

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