May 28, 2004
May 26, 2004
1. Which political party do you typically agree with? The Republican Party.
2. Which political party do you typically vote for? The Republican Party. The only Democrat i have ever voted for in any election was Diane Feinstien.
3. List the last five presidents that you voted for? In 1996 i voted for Bob Dole in the general and Steve Forbes in the primary. In 2000 i voted for George W. Bush in the general and Alan Keyes in the primary.
4. Which party do you think is smarter about the economy? The Republican Party.
5. Which party do you think is smarter about domestic affairs? The Republican Party.
6. Do you think we should keep our troops in Iraq or pull them out? Keep them in until there is a stable, pro-U.S. democracy in place.
7. Who, or what country, do you think is most responsible for 9/11? Al Qaeda and violent Islam.
8. Do you think we will find weapons of mass destruction in Iraq? No.
9. Yes or no, should the U.S. legalize marijuana? Yes.
10. Do you think the Republicans stole the last presidental election? Quite the contrary. The Republicans barely avoided an all-out attempt by the Democrats to steal the election.
11. Do you think Bill Clinton should have been impeached because of what he did with Monica Lewinski? No. He was impeached for committing purjury. i believed then, and still do, that he should have been impeached. Although i wanted him to be convicted at the time, in retrospect, it was probably for the good of the country that the Senate acquitted him.
12. Do you think Hillary Clinton would make a good president? Absolutely not.
13. Name a current Democrat who would make a great president: Joe Lieberman or Zell Miller.
14. Name a current Republican who would make a great president: Besides Bush, Dick Cheney, Rudy Giuliani.
15. Do you think that women should have the right to have an abortion? No.
16. What religion are you? Roman Catholic.
17. Have you read the Bible all the way through? No.
18. What's your favorite book? Ana Karenina.
19. Who is your favorite band? Favorite performer? AC/DC, Frank Sinatra.
20. Who do you think you'll vote for president in the next election? George W. Bush.
21. What website did you see this on first? NakedVillainy.com.
Update: Re-reading this entry in January 2005, i would probably remove Zell Miller from number 13, and add Evan Bayh and Dick Gephardt.
i have this urge to reveal my own number, my true number, not because i'm either proud or ashamed of it, but because it's a topic that people have been talking about lately, and therefore a good subject for blogging. Also, it might be an excellent way to generate hits. Still, i'm reluctant to just blurt out my number. Even though this is my blog and one point of having a blog is to enable complete honesty, i do have a minor amount of tact left.
Then i thought, what if it were a meme? How's about this for a blog meme: Visitors try to guess the blogger's number and if anyone guesses correctly within a reasonable time, say before midnight, the blogger has to post a picture of her ass.
Part of me asks: is this a good idea? Another part of me says, what the hell, i'm curious what y'all think of me. And what i lack in tact, i can always make up in tackiness.
May 25, 2004
May 24, 2004
Let me clarify this if I may. Senator Kennedy claims Abu Ghraib is simply Saddam Husseins torture chambers 'under new management U.S. management.' Taking him at his word a somewhat iffy proposition right out of the gate he apparently cannot see the difference between the humiliation and bullying of enemy combatants, which is shameful, disgusting and reprehensible, and the gleeful, mocking murder, torture and gang rape of over 300,000 innocent men, women and children -- which is something worse. So Senator, here is a helpful analogy which you may find useful: The difference is about the same as pulling over and leaving a young female secretary on the curb in the rain, which is shameful, disgusting and reprehensible, vs. leaving her trapped in the car at the bottom of a river while you look at the bubbles and ponder the political repercussions.
Which is something worse, Senator.
May I live inside your thong?Interesting . . . um . . . imagery.
Would that really be so wrong?
Laughing, playing, singing songs,
Twanging butt floss all night long?
That doesn't mean that anyone who writes a poem wins the coveted HCOTW award, but it doesn't hurt.
Since Kevin already walked away with the award once, this time he gets a very nice oak leaf cluster next to his name on the sidebar.
May 21, 2004
RE: Abuse in Iraq, we get it. No really.Why do i suddenly have a picture in my head of Jack Germond with a bottle of rye?
. . .
From here on out we only want to see news stories about who WASN'T abused or sexually humiliated in Iraq.
We think this should lighten up your workload and allow you more time with the bottle and redistribution of wealth to the po' folks.
It pains me to write this, but one cannot escape the sense that the Bush Administration is adrift on what to do in Iraq. Bush has allowed the agendas of State, the CIA and DoD to become so alienated and compartmentalized that the acts and omissions of the former are headed toward completely undermining the achievements of the latter. If I were a U.S. soldier or Marine in Iraq right now, I would be very angry at the suits. Hell, I'm not there and I still am angry at the suits. But Bush owes our Armed Forces, who have sacrificed so much, better than this.Sadly, i don't know enough as i should about Bremer and the minutiae of Iraqi politics. Until recently, i always trusted that the guys in Washington were motivated to make sure the job got done right. Now, i'm beginning to wonder if Bush's loyalty is getting in the way. If Bremer, or for that matter anyone else, is not getting the job done, i say fuck 'em. Truman fired MacArthur in the middle of the Korean War. Victory in this war is no less important.
May 20, 2004
May 19, 2004
Theme for English B
The instructor said,
Go home and write
a page tonight.
And let that page come out of you--
Then, it will be true.
I wonder if it's that simple?
I am twenty-two, colored, born in Winston-Salem.
I went to school there, then Durham, then here
to this college on the hill above Harlem.
I am the only colored student in my class.
The steps from the hill lead down into Harlem,
through a park, then I cross St. Nicholas,
Eighth Avenue, Seventh, and I come to the Y,
the Harlem Branch Y, where I take the elevator
up to my room, sit down, and write this page:
It's not easy to know what is true for you or me
at twenty-two, my age. But I guess I'm what
I feel and see and hear, Harlem, I hear you:
hear you, hear me--we two--you, me, talk on this page.
(I hear New York, too.) Me--who?
Well, I like to eat, sleep, drink, and be in love.
I like to work, read, learn, and understand life.
I like a pipe for a Christmas present,
or records--Bessie, bop, or Bach.
I guess being colored doesn't make me not like
the same things other folks like who are other races.
So will my page be colored that I write?
Being me, it will not be white.
But it will be
a part of you, instructor.
You are white--
yet a part of me, as I am a part of you.
Sometimes perhaps you don't want to be a part of me.
Nor do I often want to be a part of you.
But we are, that's true!
As I learn from you,
I guess you learn from me--
although you're older--and white--
and somewhat more free.
This is my page for English B.
i found this at White Pebble.
i can't be sure though. My dress has become much more professional as my job responsibilities have increased. Still, on the occasion of this morning's e-mail, i decided to do a thorough examination of conscience, just to be sure.
O great and powerful H.R. person. It has been one and a half years since my last confession. Since then, i have . . .
Let me see that list . . .
Beachwear: Is that like a bikini? Okay. i'm good. i hope i have enough sense to know that i can't wear a bikini to work.
Halter tops: i'm okay there too. Unless you count company picnics.
Tank Tops: Oops. Maybe on a casual Friday or two.
Shorts: Shit. You got me there. i had no idea shorts were illegal. But i've only been wearing them on Fridays.
Severe Mini-Skirts: Define severe? Is that like leather?
Shirts with offensive language or slogans: You mean like Bush/Cheney 2004?
Flip Flops or Sandals: Guilty on both counts.
Leggings, Tights, Stirrup Pants: Nope. But you might want to walk down the hall and check out what a certain heiffer is wearing today.
Capri Pants, Pedal Pushers, or Flood Pants: Shit, those are out too? i love capris! And as for flood pants, go check out the I.S. guy, for Pete's sake.
Backless or Strapless Clothing: Come on. i'm not that much of a tart.
Sweat, Warm-Up, Jogging Suits or Workout Attire: Go check out the heiffer tomorrow.
Hats, Caps: Only on days that the Lakers play.
Denim shirts: i'm good.
T-shirts or sweatshirts: Only on casual day.
Midriff tops or sweaters: Okay, i push the envelope a bit on this one. But it's hard finding a top that doesn't creep up just a little as the day goes on.
Stone washed or severely faded denim pants or skirts: Not me. Come on, the eighties are so over.
Spandex: Don't make me laugh.
Overalls/jumpers: Only on days when i plan to do carpentry. Or play on the jungle gym. Gimme a break.
Painter or cargo pants: i've been known to wear cargo pants, and for that i'm sorry.
Workout attire, bike pants: i wouldn't need the extra padding of bike shorts if the chairs in the lunch room were more comfortable. Just kidding. i'd never.
Work/combat boots: LOL, no.
Sneaker/tennis/athletic shoes: Guilty.
Excessive jewelry: Do the tongue and belly studs count?
Stained, ripped, torn or wrinkled clothing: Not at all.
See through clothing: You mean i can't wear this outfit?
Low cut clothing: Not me. i have nothing to show off. You might want to take a look at the receptionist, though. That is if you can see past the crowd of male associates surrounding her.
Sunglasses in the building: Maybe once or twice after a hard night.
O great and benevolent H.R. person, i am heartily sorry for having offended thee. And i detest all my dress code violations because of thy just punishment. But most of all, because they offend thy delicate sensibilities, O great H.R. wench, who art all prude and needs to get a life. i firmly resolve, with the help of thy firm-wide e-mails, to violate the dress code no more, and to avoid the near occasion of style.
To which, i respond: Didn't you see the MTV Awards? What makes you so sure Brittany's a heterosexual?
Remember the last time we saw it?
Humility Update: i continue to be perplexed by the blogosphere's lack of response to my own brilliant, satirical photoshopping efforts, which in my humble opinion are consistently freakin' hilarious. Many thanks to Rick and Kevin for the comments. Otherwise i'd be wondering if my site was down today.
Iraq never declared any binary 155mm artillery shells. In fact, they never claimed any filled with sarin at all in the UNSCOM Final report (Find on "Munitions declared by Iraq as remaining"). Not declared as existing at the end of the Gulf War, not having been destroyed in the Gulf War, not having been destroyed unilaterally. The only binary munitions claimed by the Iraqis were aerial bombs and missile warheads. Not in an artillery shell.Make that definitely won't hear about it on the nightly news.
You know how the whole world curdles after a major breakup? That's the culinary abyss I'm in right now. The angels aren't shitting any Strawberry Cheesecake on me; they're just shitting shit. It's a beautiful day outside, but my life has turned into the final act of a Samuel Beckett play. I'm living inside a fucking garbage can. I'm waiting for Godot. All around me, there's nothing but gloom. Demons cackle in dark corners. Squirrels with glowing red eyes wave their freakishly huge, forked dicks at me. Harmonious birdsong morphs into the cacophonous squalling of Satan's fanged, larval children. The Han River runs thick with pus and excrement-- no, wait, that's not a hellish vision; that's actually happening.He's so twisted. He needs to get off of Glogspot, too.
May 18, 2004
i can almost picture it now:
Holy Jesus! What is that? WHAT IS THAT?!And i'd love to see Moore trying to run laps, with the personal trainer alongside to motivate him:
Sir, a jelly doughnut, sir!
A jelly doughnut?!
Sir, yes, sir!
How did it get here?
Sir, I took it from the mess hall, sir!
Is chow allowed in the barracks, Moore?
Sir, no, sir!
Are you allowed to eat jelly doughnuts, Moore?
Sir, no, sir!
And why not?
Sir, because I'm too heavy, sir!
Because you are a DISGUSTING FATBODY, Moore!
Sir, yes, sir!
Pick 'em up and set 'em down, Moore! Quickly! Move it up!Yah, boot camp might do him a lot of good, i think.
Were you born a fat slimy scumbag, you piece of shit?! Or did you have to work on it?
Move it up! Quickly! Hustle up!
The fucking war will be over by the time we get up there, won't it, Moore? MOVE IT!
Are you going to fucking die, Moore? Are you going to die on me?! Do you feel dizzy? Do you feel faint? Jesus H. Christ, I think you've got a hard-on!
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