March 31, 2005

Step One In A Move To CBS's Anchor Job?

Ted Koppel is leaving ABC.

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March 30, 2005

Wednesday Is Poetry Day

What might the great Walt Whitman have said about what's going on in Florida?

To One Shortly to Die

From all the rest I single out you, having a message for you:
You are to die—Let others tell you what they please, I cannot prevaricate,
I am exact and merciless, but I love you—There is no escape for you.

Softly I lay my right hand upon you—you just feel it,
I do not argue—I bend my head close, and half envelope it,
I sit quietly by—I remain faithful,
I am more than nurse, more than parent or neighbor,
I absolve you from all except yourself, spiritual, bodily—that is eternal—you yourself will surely escape,
The corpse you will leave will be but excrementitious.

The sun bursts through in unlooked-for directions!
Strong thoughts fill you, and confidence—you smile!
You forget you are sick, as I forget you are sick,
You do not see the medicines—you do not mind the weeping friends—I am with you,
I exclude others from you—there is nothing to be commiserated,
I do not commiserate—I congratulate you.

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March 29, 2005

The Spanking Cure

i have no comment on this one.

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Funniest Thing

For some odd reason, i'm getting IMs and comments from people who think i am Lindsay Lohan. It's all due to that humorous piece i did a few weeks back. My guess is that it's attracting google hits and of course Lindsay Lohan fans are not the swiftest bananas in the bunch. i got this french guy sending me IMs in french every day. i have no idea what he's saying but tonight he says, in English: "you are Lindsay Lohan."

Well, i'm not, but i'm willing to pretend if it will fuck with a Frenchie's head for shits and giggles. Ha-ha.

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Fantasy Baseball Update

Well my team drafted and i'm not too crazy about it. i'm weak in two key areas compared to my competition: pitching and offense.

C V. Martínez (Cle - C)
1B P. Konerko (CWS - 1B)
2B B. Boone (Sea - 2B)
3B A. Béltre (Sea - 3B)
SS B. Crosby (Oak - SS)
OF J. Pierre (Fla - OF)
OF J. Edmonds (StL - OF)
OF S. Podsednik (CWS - OF)
Util M. Lowell (Fla - 3B)
BN T. Iguchi (CWS - 2B)
BN A. Boone (Cle - 3B)
BN M. Lawton (Pit - OF)
BN Á. Sánchez (TB - OF)
BN Mi. Sweeney (KC - 1B)

SP B. Zito (Oak - SP)
SP M. Clement (Bos - SP)
SP Od. Pérez (LAD - SP)
RP E. Gagne (LAD - RP)
P T. Hoffman (SD - RP)
P S. Takatsu (CWS - RP)
P A. Leiter (Fla - SP)

With Pierre and Podsednik, i'm probably good on stolen bases, i think. But i need starting pitchers who can get wins.

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Tuesday TV Thoughts

i'm a huge Nadia fan. i love her style. But she was flat tonight. i mean she wasn't in key. It was painful.

i had high hopes for Anwar when he auditioned. He's a voice teacher, but Randy is right. He's not been good for quite a few weeks in a row, and only saves himself with some big notes at the end.

Carrie. i've been expecting her to do "Independence Day" ever since she auditioned. That was like a given. i think she sewed up the Sean Hannity audience tonight.

Scott. Ho-hum. Federov. Yawn.

Niko. i'm with Randy. That was a'ight. Just a'ight.

Have you tried that Coke with lime yet? Too sweet for my taste.

Do you miss Mikalah? Me neither.

Constantine's appeal is too narrow to hold much longer.

Vonzell has a black belt? That's not surprising, 'cuz she's kicked ass two weeks in a row now. Carrie was good, but not as good as Martina. Vonzell was absolutely just as good as Whitney on her song tonight.

In my mind, Bo, Vonzell and Carrie are the front runners.

House, Scrubs or Jim? Please, isn't there anything better on Tuesday night? The Amazing Race is out, because i've reached my tolerance limit for reality tv.

i could always study. There's a thought.

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Driver Killed By Load Of Shit

Speaking of time travellers, this story via Reuters:

A Czech tractor driver died under eight tons of manure in a bizarre accident that has baffled his employers, local media reported.
Authorities are still looking for a mysterious kid on a skateboard.

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March 28, 2005

Time Traveler Busted For Insider Trading

This story reminds me of a very funny Kevin Nealon skit on Saturday Night Live.

Sources at the Security and Exchange Commission confirm that 44-year-old Andrew Carlssin offered the bizarre explanation for his uncanny success in the stock market after being led off in handcuffs on January 28.

'We don't believe this guy's story -- he's either a lunatic or a pathological liar,' says an SEC insider.

'But the fact is, with an initial investment of only $800, in two weeks' time he had a portfolio valued at over $350 million. Every trade he made capitalized on unexpected business developments, which simply can't be pure luck.

'The only way he could pull it off is with illegal inside information. He's going to sit in a jail cell on Rikers Island until he agrees to give up his sources.'

. . .

Carlssin declared that he had traveled back in time from over 200 years in the future, when it is common knowledge that our era experienced one of the worst stock plunges in history. Yet anyone armed with knowledge of the handful of stocks destined to go through the roof could make a fortune.

'It was just too tempting to resist,' Carlssin allegedly said in his videotaped confession. 'I had planned to make it look natural, you know, lose a little here and there so it doesn't look too perfect. But I just got caught in the moment.'

In a bid for leniency, Carlssin has reportedly offered to divulge 'historical facts' such as the whereabouts of Osama Bin Laden and a cure for AIDS.

All he wants is to be allowed to return to the future in his 'time craft.'

However, he refuses to reveal the location of the machine or discuss how it works, supposedly out of fear the technology could 'fall into the wrong hands.'

The SNL skit was a parody of a Wall Street Week type panel show in which various experts talked about their secret to investing. Kevin Nealon, dressed in a silver jumpsuit, was one of the panelists, named "Future Man." When his turn came to talk about his secret to investing, he held up a line graph and pointed to it, saying that his method was simple: "buy here, sell here, buy sell buy sell buy sell."

i want to believe it could happen, though. Don't you?

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Memo To Lara Spencer

Tonight i heard* Pat O'Brien's replacement on The Insider say that the Aniston/Pitt divorce was "the breakup that everyone hoped would never happen."

Um, that's not exactly true. i can name at least one person who didn't give a flying fuck one way or the other.

* Okay, the only reason i was watching was because my roommate had it on in the living room while i was fixing dinner, and she apparently doesn't mind the los of brain cels, which inevitaby folows waching a haf hour of that shit.

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Some Extra Thoughts On The Controversy Du Jour

While i didn't agree with everything in this article by Andrew McCarthy of NRO, i did find the following passage persuasive:

In the PVS context, we are talking about a person’s own right to life. It doesn’t matter what we, individually or collectively, would want for ourselves. What matters is what, if anything, that person subjectively wanted — even if it doesn’t track our predilections. What matters is whether that person has considered and communicated those desires in an informed and reliable way. If she has, and PVS turns out both to be an appropriate basis to end life and actually to exist in the case at hand, we should not interfere in that choice if the state has made it available through surrogate action. If she hasn’t, we should be erring on the side of life, lest we inevitably venture further down this slope into even more ethically dubious takings of life.

As I have argued here, before the state may permit the termination of life in a PVS case, the guardian should be required to establish beyond a reasonable doubt* that the stricken person is in a PVS and that the stricken person evinced, in a knowing and intelligent way, a desire to be removed from sustenance if ever in a hopeless, incapacitated state. On the latter finding, we should encourage living wills to induce a person who considers and feels strongly about this choice to make her intentions clear. In the absence of such a living will, there should be a presumption that the person wants to live. It is life, not death, that our constitution protects.

There is a good argument that this should not merely be a presumption but a conclusion. On balance, however, I think we need to make reasonable allowances here, out of respect for the individual’s self-determination, out of the desire to minimize government intrusion into painful family matters, and out of the recognition that it would be unduly haughty to think ourselves capable of fashioning an unbending rule that will do justice in all conceivable situations — because we simply can’t conceive of all the situations that might arise in this area.
[emphasis added]

i believe, as other bloggers have commented, that there should be a sort of "statute of frauds" for end of life decisions. Contract law will not enforce the sale of land, unless the contract is in writing. The reason is that the subject of the contract, i.e. the specific parcel of land, cannot be replaced if the Court gets it wrong. Obviously, the same rationale applies to a person's life.

* The correct standard, in civil cases, would be "clear and convincing evidence." Which, i understand, was the standard used by Judge Greer in the Florida Court. Whether rightly or wrongly, well, that depends on whom you ask.

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What Does It Say?

Well, this story leaves out the most important detail.

Any ideas?

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NCAA Update

i am now dead last in Six Meat Buffet's Basketball Challenge Pool.

Dead fucking last.

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March 27, 2005

On PCH With The Hot Tub Friends

Meanwhile out on Pacific Coast Highway...


You folks in L.A., be careful out there.

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Useful Easter Egg Blogging

Happy Easter. Here is my quick recipe for Eggs Benedict, fashioned when i didn't have all the proper ingredients or a lot of time. But i think my substitutions make it a little better.

2 eggs
sourdough baguette
thin sliced ham or turkey sandwich meat
Knorr's hollandaise sauce
pepper jack cheese <-- the key
fresh ground pepper
Poach the eggs 4 to 5 minutes and prepare the hollandaise sauce according to the directions. Slice the baguette into inch thick slices. Toast the slices.

Spread margarine lightly on one side of the baguette slices. arrange the meat on top. Plop the egg on the meat next. Pour a few tablespoons of the hollandaise on next. Then crumble the pepper jack on top and sprinkle with roughly ground pepper.

The secret to any eggs benedict dish is simultaneity. The various ingredients cool down so fast that you have to time things right to get it all together and eat it while it's still hot. Or, you can always assemble it and hit it with the microwave before you dig in.

By the way, i tried Rachael Ray's method for perfect hard boiled eggs this morning and it worked beautifully. Cover the eggs with cold water; as soon as it starts boiling, turn the heat off; cover and wait ten minutes. That's it. Perfecto.

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March 26, 2005

American Skankmommy?

We've heard the rumors before, but now it may actually be true.

Britney Spears is three months pregnant, it has been claimed.

The pop babe, who has made no secret of her desire to start a family with second husband Kevin Federline, will reportedly announce her pregnancy within the next couple of days.


Respected American gossip columnist Norm Clarke said: 'Britney Spears. not a girl, soon to be a mommy.

She's pregnant. Look for the announcement any day now.'

Weight gain due to pregnancy could be an alternate explanation for why she was seen without her wedding ring recently.

Well, if it's true, let me join Nikita Demosthenes, in wishing her good luck and congratulations.

Hat tip to Nikita, too.

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Spring Break With The Hot Tub Friends

B-list celebrities need Spring Break, too.

i recently obtained some exclusive footage of the time when three of our hot tub friends met Jessica Alba.

i Hope your Spring Break was enjoyable, too.

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March 25, 2005

Agnus Dei

Agnus Dei, qui tollis peccata mundi,
Miserere nobis.

Agnus Dei, qui tollis peccata mundi,
Miserere nobis.

Agnus Dei, qui tollis peccata mundi,
Dona nobis pacem.

[traditional, Agnus Dei]

Agnus Dei

From the sixth hour until the ninth hour darkness came over all the land. About the ninth hour Jesus cried out in a loud voice, “Eloi, Eloi, lama sabachthani?” -–which means, “My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?”

When some of those standing there heard this, they said, “He's calling Elijah.”

Immediately one of them ran and got a sponge. He filled it with wine vinegar, put it on a stick, and offered it to Jesus to drink. The rest said, “Now leave him alone. Let's see if Elijah comes to save him.”

And when Jesus had cried out again in a loud voice, he gave up his spirit.

At that moment the curtain of the temple was torn in two from top to bottom. The earth shook and the rocks split. The tombs broke open and the bodies of many holy people who had died were raised to life. They came out of the tombs, and after Jesus' resurrection they went into the holy city and appeared to many people.

When the centurion and those with him who were guarding Jesus saw the earthquake and all that had happened, they were terrified, and exclaimed, “Surely he was the Son of God!”

Many women were there, watching from a distance. They had followed Jesus from Galilee to care for his needs. Among them were Mary Magdalene, Mary the mother of James and Joses, and the mother of Zebedee's sons.

[Matthew 27:45-56]

Ich bin’s, ich sollte büßen,
An Händen und an Füßen
Gebunden in der Höll'!
Die Geißeln und die Banden
Und was du ausgestanden,
Das hat verdienet meine Seel'.

[Christian Friedrich Henrici (Picander), St. Matthew Passion (libretto)]

Fac, ut ardeat cor meum
in amando Christum Deum
ut sibi complaceam.

Sancta Mater, istud agas,
crucifixi fige plagas
cordi meo valide.

Tui Nati vulnerati,
tam dignati pro me pati,
poenas mecum divide.

[Jacopone da Todi, Stabat Mater]

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Headline Trickery

ABC News continues to outrage me. They're vying for the bottom of the journalistic heap in my book, apparently jealous of CNN and CBS.

Today's misleading web headline disgusted me:

Schindlers, Kevorkian Discuss Schiavo Case
Seeing that headline on Google (without the subtitle), i immediately wondered what the hell was going on. Had Terri Schiavo's parents changed their mind about euthanasia? Nope, it was a cruel joke of some editor at ABC News, who decided to lump these two opposing points of view into the same story and then post a misleading headline for some sick reason.

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March 24, 2005

NCAA Update 2.0

In Six Meat Buffet's "Basketball Challenge," i'm now tied for last place with Vandelay Industries. (No, not George Costanza, but Chad Evans from In The Bullpen.)

In the Bear Flag League's "Blogger March Madness Poo" (not a typo), i'm right in the middle, tied at fifth with Justene and Nick Queen.

However, you might remember that two days ago, i predicted the following:

1. Washington would lose to Louisville
2. Arizona would beat OK State
3. Texas Tech would lose to West Virginia

So why does my bracket suck?

Posted by: annika at 09:21 PM | Comments (6) | Add Comment
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Programming Advice To OW

Dawn thinks Oprah should invite a blogger on her show.

i think Oprah should invite Dawn.

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