October 31, 2004

Halloween Greetings

Happy Halloween to everybody who dares to visit this blog.

SlagleRock has a holiday safety warning for all parents. When i was little, my parents took me around to malls for trick or treat, but even then, i rarely got to eat any candy. Halloween was mostly about the dress up for me.

Last night both myself and Matt Scofield had something to cheer about. Cal humiliated ASU by a score of 27 to nothing. (Matt's a Wildcat fan.) Cal is playing great. Too bad USC is too, but the Rose Bowl is a definite possibility for the Golden Bears this year. If it can't be Cal, i'd love to see USC and Auburn in the Orange Bowl because i think Auburn will spank the Trojans.

i'm not doing anything for Halloween this year. Since i took Saturday off, i need to study today. i had planned to go to the game with Francine and some other Cal friends, except i fucked up my ankle on Friday. i didn't want to walk on it yesterday, since Memorial Stadium requires so much hiking. Thankfully, it's feeling much better this morning.

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October 07, 2004

Pre-Apprentice Dinner Menu

i cooked tonight, and there were two requirements: be done in time to watch The Apprentice, and include the four major food groups. Those food groups being 1) meat, 2) bread, 3) vegetables and 4) alcohol. My roommates don't get enough veggies.

dinner.jpg

i accomplished this task with the following menu:

  • meat stuffed tortellini with my own sauce (leftover)

  • Brussels sprouts with mustard-horseradish cream sauce (non-fat)

  • crusty romano cheese sourdough rolls

  • $5 chianti
Oh sure, at first my roommates turned up their nose at the sight of the Brussels sprouts. But afterwards all three of them pronounced my side dish to be: "okay," which i will translate as a high compliment.

The $5 bottle of chianti was indeed a hit, though.

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October 06, 2004

Law Students Can Be So Competitive

If you had been in the cafeteria today, you might have overheard a conversation that went something like this:

"Hey Quan, where've you been?"

"Oh . . . uh . . . hi Annika."

"i haven't seen you in, like, weeks. Where'd you go? i thought you quit after the test or something."

"No . . . uh . . . I just moved seats."

"You did? What for?"

"Umm."

"Didn't you like sitting behind me?"

"Well . . . uh . . . to be honest . . .uh . . . I had to move."

"Oh come on. What, did i smell bad?"

"No . . . uh . . . no it's just . . . uhh . . . "

"You're fucking kidding me. Quan? You're kidding, right?"

". . . uhhh no it's not . . ."

"Please tell me you're fucking shitting me. Aren't you Quan? i really smell bad?"

"No . . . uh . . . you see it's . . . uhhh . . ."

"What the fuck? Just tell me!"

"It's . . . uh whenever you wore those uh blue warm-up pants . . . it got . . . uh . . . kinda distracting uhh . . . 'cause I could see your uh . . . your . . . uhh . . ."

"Oh . . . well . . . uh . . . sorry about that . . . uh . . . Quan . . . i uhh . . . "

"No problem, Annika. Don't worry about it."


The lesson to be learned from that little vignette is this: When the professor grades on a curve, consider converting butt cleavage into extra points.

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August 27, 2004

My New Best Friends

Well, i made it through the first week of school. i have three new best friends too. Mr. Black, Mr. Emanuel and Mr. Gilbert. These three guys have been so nice and supportive throughout the whole week, and as i fought through each impulse to cry, simply lay down and cry, these three boys waited patiently until i was ready to return and continue working. i think i love them.

But for tonight, i'm going to catch up with some old friends i've been neglecting: Mr. Jack and Mr. Coke.

Tomorrow, i may hear from Mr. Puke.

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August 15, 2004

IM Dialogue

You ever get those crazy IMs from people you don't know who just want to chat? i do. Mostly i just ignore them, but sometimes it's fun to mess with them. Here's an example:

expletivedeleted: hi sexy
annikagyrl: hi
expletivedeleted: how's you
annikagyrl: fine
expletivedeleted: so you live in LA ?
annikagyrl: no, sacramento
expletivedeleted: ah, moved since updating your profile then
annikagyrl: yah
expletivedeleted: so how's sac town
annikagyrl: fixing it now
expletivedeleted: how so
expletivedeleted: oh, nevermind
expletivedeleted: what do you do for kicks up there?
annikagyrl: not much
annikagyrl: its pretty boring
expletivedeleted: so i hear
expletivedeleted: i have friends up there
annikagyrl: where do you live
expletivedeleted: san diego
expletivedeleted: i'm martin
expletivedeleted: and i am assuming that you are annika
annikagyrl: are you the martin from san diego?
expletivedeleted: well, i am one of probably many
annikagyrl: i know you
expletivedeleted: how do you know me
annikagyrl: kindergarten
annikagyrl: remember?
expletivedeleted: you teach kindergarten?
annikagyrl: no we went to kindergarten toghethe
expletivedeleted: really now?
annikagyrl: i cant believe you dont remember me
expletivedeleted: have we spoke online before and you were under a different name?
annikagyrl: no you sat in front of me
expletivedeleted: where?
annikagyrl: in front of you
expletivedeleted: so what was our teacher's name?
annikagyrl: oh god, i don't remember
annikagyrl: started with an l
expletivedeleted: no it was a B
annikagyrl: b started with a b
annikagyrl: baum somehting or other
expletivedeleted: it was Brown
annikagyrl: brown yah thats it
annikagyrl: remember i used to shoot spit wads at you
expletivedeleted: you didnt go to kindergarten with me
annikagyrl: no im just fuckin with ya dude
expletivedeleted: of course you are
annikagyrl: i do that to everybody
annikagyrl: some people believe it tho
expletivedeleted: not me
annikagyrl: yes, that is why i do not like you
expletivedeleted: ah
expletivedeleted: hostility
annikagyrl: yes
expletivedeleted: why's that
annikagyrl: i dont know
pause.
annikagyrl: say something funny
long pause
annikagyrl: lol
expletivedeleted: fear the lords who are secret among us
expletivedeleted: the lords are w/ in us
annikagyrl: that is funny
expletivedeleted: born of sloth and cowardice
annikagyrl: i cant believe how funny you are
expletivedeleted: see, perhaps i am good for something
annikagyrl: what is that, the bible, or jrr tolkien?
expletivedeleted: nah, just a thought
annikagyrl: thets fuckin hilarious dude
another pause
expletivedeleted: your name is annika then?
annikagyrl: yes
expletivedeleted: and have you always lived in california?
annikagyrl: yes
expletivedeleted: married? children?
annikagyrl:: nope
expletivedeleted: well, so what are your interests
expletivedeleted: ?
expletivedeleted: you there?
expletivedeleted: hello
expletivedeleted: cmon
But alas, i was gone. i don't think he'll be IMing me again, what do you think?

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August 09, 2004

The Heat

When is it going to rain? It's supposed to be over a hundred all week here. i miss the weather in San Francisco. It's sweater weather all year round. i'd love to be there right now.

The A's are still number one. The Giants are struggling to get back on top, and they might just do it since the Dodger's latest acquisition blew a fuse. The Raiders will suck again this year, as will the 49ers. But the Bay Area will be entering autumn soon, and it's a closely held secret that their best weather comes in fall.

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August 06, 2004

That's My Schedule And i'm Sticking To It

i have one week left before law school orientation week begins.

Excitement!

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July 30, 2004

Bat Update

i got the details on bat risk. It's not dangerous to touch a dead bat, but you shouldn't do it. If you see a bat in the daytime, and it's crawling on the ground, something's wrong. It probably has rabies so don't mess with it, it may bite you and then you're in trouble. You can get rabies if bat saliva gets in your eyes, nose, mouth or a wound. In other words, don't make out with the bat.

The source for this info is here, in case you're interested. i also learned that many young bats are unable to fly during summer. So it's possible that i simply saw a lost, but undiseased, young bat.

Here's the proper way to capture a bat:

What you will need:
  • leatherwork gloves (put them on)

  • small box or coffee can

  • piece of cardboard

  • tape
When the bat lands, approach it slowly, while wearing the gloves, and place the box or coffee can over it. Slide the cardboard under the container to trap the bat inside. Tape the cardboard to the container securely, and punch small holes in the cardboard, allowing the bat to breathe. Contact your health department or animal-control authority to make arrangements for rabies testing.

If you see a bat in your home and you are sure no human or pet exposure has occurred, confine the bat to a room by closing all doors and windows leading out of the room except those to the outside. The bat will probably leave soon. If not, it can be caught, as described and released outdoors away from people and pets.

Not that anyone would ever need to know that, but hey, it never hurts to be prepared. Might as well assemble your bat capture kit this weekend and keep it handy, just in case.

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July 26, 2004

Where's A Digital Camera When You Need One? (Reprise)

i just saw the weirdest thing. A bat. It was right outside the building crawling along the sidewalk on all fours, right where i saw that huge dragonfly a few weeks ago. The bat was gray, about three inches long, and moving very slowly, about the speed of a large beetle. i didn't know what it was at first and i jumped and let out a loud scream, 'cause it was right by my foot when i first saw it. Poor thing was lost, it should have been hanging upside down in a cave somewhere. i thought about picking it up and bringing it into the office to show everybody. Then i thought about rabies and left it alone. Some car is probably going to run over it, over but there's nothing i can do about that. It's getting to be like a menagerie outside my building. i really should bring a digital camera with me when i take my smoke breaks.

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July 14, 2004

Things To Miss And Not To Miss After One Moves From L.A.

Besides my family, my best friend and my former-boyfriend, things i miss include: morning runs on San Vicente Boulevard, Bill Handel's radio show, The Hollywood Bowl, and it may sound trite but yes, i miss sunset at the beach. Oh yah, and deli food. You can always find good deli food there. And, of course, convenient parking most of the time.

Things to not miss include: traffic jams due to road construction on every single street everywhere at all times, all tailgaters, and stupid Mercedes-Benz drivers who don't think they have to stop at four way stop signs because they're oh-so-much-more-important than everyone else. These drivers are probably the same pretentious a-holes who sit in Starbuck's and make it a point to talk about their latest "project" as loud as possible.

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July 13, 2004

Buffer Post

i'm back up north again. Mom is doing great. She's tired but the doctors say if she changes her diet and takes her medication she should be okay. She's never had any heart problems before, that was always Dad's thing, so this was a shock to us all. Anyways, i just got into town and i'm going to have a few beers and go to sleep early. It's terribly hot tonight. This post is intended as a buffer since the last post was such a downer and it's been up all weekend and i just want to put the whole thing behind me right now. It was a very trying weekend, with lots of family shit to sort out, but that's another story.

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June 29, 2004

Real Strawberries

Last night i had a bowl of real strawberries, the likes of which i've never tasted my entire life. And i'm a big strawberry fan, too. But the store bought kind are like plastic compared to the kind you can get at a roadside stand out here in the Big Valley.

Sherry brought home four of those little green baskets full of the freshest, reddest, most perfect looking berries ever. Eating one was like drinking pure strawberry juice. Like being in heaven. Inside, they were the color of blood, and not a bit of white anywhere. I ate them like candy.

Later, we sliced them up and smothered them over bowls of vanilla ice cream, with chocolate sauce drizzled on top. That was dinner. Then, at night, i dreamed about more strawberries.

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June 23, 2004

What A Hassle

i swear, i can't wait until i can bring my computer up here. i'm borrowing my housemate Colleen's computer to write this, which is such a fucking hassle, it's not even worth it. For one thing i have to wait until she's out to use it. For another thing it's slower than my brother's old 386 with 12 megabytes. And Colleen's is a Pentium IV! i don't know what she's done to it to make it run so slow. Also she's on an ISP that sucks. Also she's fucking lefthanded, so i have to cross my arm over to use the mouse, which is giving me a sore shoulder. The mouse buttons are reversed too! GAAAAK! What an annoyance.

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June 08, 2004

Paying My Respects

During lunch today, i took a walk over to the Capitol Building and signed this book.

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June 04, 2004

The Capitol City

Last week has not been easy. On Friday i moved into a room in the four bedroom house with my other new housemates Colleeen and Mike. Mike is a real sweetheart, very easygoing and funny. Colleen, i had forgotten, has a personality that tends to the negative and she can be a moody bitch a lot of the time. On Monday, for some reason, she decided she was going to be snippy to everybody, and i began to think i had made a mistake by moving in. But on Tuesday, she was back to normal. Weird. But i'm determined not to let her get to me. The house is great. The fourth housemate will be moving in tomorrow; it's another first year named Sherry or Shelly, i cant remember.

The Capitol City is like a small town with a few tall office buildings. After living in S.F. and L.A., i'm a snob. This is the provinces. But the people seem nice, and life is definitely slower than in L.A., if not the Bay Area too. On Tuesday, i started work at the local office of the law firm i've been at for the last couple of years. This is the third branch office i've worked at. They must like me. This operation is very small, only 5 attorneys, and i'm to be their part-time paralegal to help the full-time girl, who's going on maternity soon.

i still haven't seen Schwarzenegger, but i'm looking out for him. There's a few things i need to say to him regarding his job performance thus far. Some good, some not so good. The office had lunch at the Hard Rock Cafe the other day and i was joking about Arnie's failed venture with Willis and Stallone. What was it called? i don't even remember the name of it. No, i'm talking about the restaurant, not California. Overpriced hamburgers, bad service. Just like the Hard Rock. Damn, i can never remember the name of it.

i miss my family and Jason terribly. i feel weird, like i don't belong. i guess i'll get used to being here eventually. i'm planning to go back home for Father's day though, and i'm so looking forward to that.

Blogging is hard these days, because i work in a small office and the boss is always nearby. At home, i don't have a computer yet and i don't want to blog from my roommates' computers. It sucks. i really wanted to blog about Clinton's speech, which i saw last night. He was smooth wasn't he? Damn, that guy is good. Slick Willie, for sure. i plan to buy his book, by the way.

Gotta go, the boss is back.

Highly Recommended: Richie* on Sports at Candied Ginger.

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May 25, 2004

Moving Again

On Friday i will be moving once again, this time to the great central valley of California. An friend of mine from Cal, named Colleen, will be starting her third year at the law school where i will start this fall. As luck would have it, she lives in a four bedroom house and two of her roommates moved out this month. Since she needs two roommates right away and i agreed to move up early. i spent last weekend packing and transferring some of my belongings to my parents' house. It's been a very busy and hectic couple of weeks. i hate moving.

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May 19, 2004

Oops i Did It Again?

One of the running themes of my work life, my leitmotif if you will, is the "firmwide e-mail regarding dress code violations." i have been the unnamed cause of two such e-mails in the past, at two different offices, and it seems i may have become the inspiration for yet another at my present workplace.

i can't be sure though. My dress has become much more professional as my job responsibilities have increased. Still, on the occasion of this morning's e-mail, i decided to do a thorough examination of conscience, just to be sure.


O great and powerful H.R. person. It has been one and a half years since my last confession. Since then, i have . . .

Let me see that list . . .

Beachwear: Is that like a bikini? Okay. i'm good. i hope i have enough sense to know that i can't wear a bikini to work.

Halter tops: i'm okay there too. Unless you count company picnics.

Tank Tops: Oops. Maybe on a casual Friday or two.

Shorts: Shit. You got me there. i had no idea shorts were illegal. But i've only been wearing them on Fridays.

Severe Mini-Skirts: Define severe? Is that like leather?

Shirts with offensive language or slogans: You mean like Bush/Cheney 2004?

Flip Flops or Sandals: Guilty on both counts.

Leggings, Tights, Stirrup Pants: Nope. But you might want to walk down the hall and check out what a certain heiffer is wearing today.

Capri Pants, Pedal Pushers, or Flood Pants: Shit, those are out too? i love capris! And as for flood pants, go check out the I.S. guy, for Pete's sake.

Backless or Strapless Clothing: Come on. i'm not that much of a tart.

Sweat, Warm-Up, Jogging Suits or Workout Attire: Go check out the heiffer tomorrow.

Hats, Caps: Only on days that the Lakers play.

Denim shirts: i'm good.

T-shirts or sweatshirts: Only on casual day.

Midriff tops or sweaters: Okay, i push the envelope a bit on this one. But it's hard finding a top that doesn't creep up just a little as the day goes on.

Stone washed or severely faded denim pants or skirts: Not me. Come on, the eighties are so over.

Spandex: Don't make me laugh.

Overalls/jumpers: Only on days when i plan to do carpentry. Or play on the jungle gym. Gimme a break.

Painter or cargo pants: i've been known to wear cargo pants, and for that i'm sorry.

Workout attire, bike pants: i wouldn't need the extra padding of bike shorts if the chairs in the lunch room were more comfortable. Just kidding. i'd never.

Work/combat boots: LOL, no.

Sneaker/tennis/athletic shoes: Guilty.

Excessive jewelry: Do the tongue and belly studs count?

Stained, ripped, torn or wrinkled clothing: Not at all.

See through clothing: You mean i can't wear this outfit?

Low cut clothing: Not me. i have nothing to show off. You might want to take a look at the receptionist, though. That is if you can see past the crowd of male associates surrounding her.

Sunglasses in the building: Maybe once or twice after a hard night.

O great and benevolent H.R. person, i am heartily sorry for having offended thee. And i detest all my dress code violations because of thy just punishment. But most of all, because they offend thy delicate sensibilities, O great H.R. wench, who art all prude and needs to get a life. i firmly resolve, with the help of thy firm-wide e-mails, to violate the dress code no more, and to avoid the near occasion of style.

Amen.

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May 14, 2004

My New Healthy Lifestyle

Friday at work is my most healthy day. It's casual day, so i can wear a t-shirt and shorts and go for a walk at lunchtime.

But now i just learned that my other Friday habit is also very healthful for me. i'm talking about the binge drinking that usually commences at about 5:15 p.m. each Friday.

New evidence of the benefits of moderate alcohol use comes from research that identifies a physiological mechanism that apparently links regular consumption of beer to better cardiovascular health in older men and women.
Sounds good. i'm not necessarily in the "older" category, although some days i feel like it. i'm also curious what they mean by "moderate."
'Moderate' in this context is defined as up to 30 grams of alcohol a day for men and up to 20 grams a day for women. For reference, a Dutch glass of beer contains about 10 grams of alcohol, while a U.S. glass contains about 12 grams.
Okay, so that's roughly two glasses of beer a day for women. Since i don't usually drink during the week, that means i should have fourteen glasses tonight.

Cool.

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May 10, 2004

The Sporadic Blogger

Trying to get her living situation in order. Trying to find a roommate and an apartment by long distance. Trying to spend the last few weeks of quality time with family, best friend, cute/sad boyfriend, without crying all the time. Trying to figure out how i'm going to afford everything: rent, food, books (text, horn, fiction, etc.), beer, DVDs, gasoline. Deciding whether to continue working, blogging, exercising, smoking, dancing, reading, writing, shopping, etc.

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May 06, 2004

A Lot Of People Don't Realize...

A lot of people don't realize that i was originally cast for the role of Phoebe in the very first Friends pilot episode. Yes, it's true. They saw me in my high school production of Camelot, and apparently thought i'd be great for the dumb blonde part.

Another little known fact is that the series was originally set in Cancun. This was simply an excuse to keep us all in bathing suits, for marketing reasons. We filmed the pilot during one hazy debauched weekend on the beach and at a club called, coincidentally, Los Amigos. Matt LeBlanc does look great in jammies, by the way.

The reason they decided not to use me in the final cast might have had something to do with my well known weakness for tequila. Plus the fact that i kept shouting "lime!" then giggling uncontrollably when i'd forget my lines. Matt Perry thought that was hilarious.

i'm dissapointed that they fired me, of course. A million dollars an episode would come in handy right about now. But it's for the best, i guess. i would have spent it all on rehab anyway. i am glad that i did leave my own little mark on the show when i came up with the genesis for Phoebe's famous "Smelly Cat" song.

It was originally entitled "Shitty Cat," which was changed to "Crappy Cat," when the network decided that they needed to air the show before ten o'clock at night. i wrote that song during my "cat poetry" phase. Another fine example from that genre can be found here.

i still keep in touch with my "friends" and usually find myself calling on them when my gambling debts become a bit unmanageable. Jeniffer Aniston is always willing to spare me a few c-notes when she can, usually sending them over through an intermediary since she, for some reason, refuses to meet with me in person anymore.

i don't know how many times one should be expected to apologize for an innocent question to someone's husband. i simply asked Brad about the extent of his knowledge of Trojans. You know, he plays a trojan in that movie, so i didn't see what the big deal was, but she made such a stink about it.

But i'm really closest to David Swimmer, who let me in on a little secret about tonight's finale episode. i can't reveal too much, but i will tell you that all six characters end up in a small-town jail, accused of the crime of "criminal indifference."

Wait a minute, that's not right.

You know, a lot of people don't realize i was originally cast for the role of Elaine in the pilot episode of Seinfeld . . .

Posted by: annika at 10:44 AM | Comments (1) | Add Comment
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