Did you see the recent Gallup poll, which says that Republicans are more likely to be in love than Democrats? Who knew? i guess for the Dems, it's all about the sex.

As for myself, well, gee, i don't know. A few months ago i would have said no, definitely no. Now, i'm not too sure. Last night, a bit more was added to the yes side of my romance ledger by yours truly's significant other.

First thing we did was catch a matinee showing of The Return of the King. That was by my request. i wanted to see it one more time before the Oscars. It was my first time seeing it with Jason, and i promised myself i would not cry during the final act. But i did, silly sentimental me. i sobbed as usual. It was embarrassing; i got J's shoulder all wet.

Afterwards, we ate at an Italian place in Pasadena, which was way too crowded even though it was still early. We had a nice dinner and exchanged gifts. He gave me a bracelet, which is just beautiful. The gems aren't real of course, but i don't mind. i can't help it if my birthstones are so expensive. i bought him a fountain pen.

Afterwards, we strolled through Old Pasadena. We went into a cigar store just for the smell, and almost bought a couple of stogies. i resisted the temptation to go into Barnes & Noble. We walked through the Banana Republic and the Pottery Barn, and all the while we kept each other laughing with witty repartee.

We arrived at another overcrowded bar that i wanted to go into. We looked at the line outside and Jason said, "this sucks, I have a better idea." He led me back to his car but refused to tell me where we were going. Finally i realized why he wanted to have our Valentine's date in Pasadena: he'd bought tickets to the Pasadena Jazz Institute's Coltrane tribute. What a surprise! Jason's not a jazz fan, but he must have noticed the stack of Coltrane CDs in my room. That was so thoughtful of him. i enjoyed the show a lot. i hope J did too, but i'm afraid some of that music can be an acquired taste.

There was a little bit of juvenile hand holding and giggling too, which can be fun. Jason is actually a very charming, decent and nice guy. My opinion of him when we first met wasn't awful, but i did think he was something of a player. Now that we know each other better, i see him differently and i'm impressed. So all in all i had a very romantic time yesterday. Definitely one of my nicer Valentine's Days. After Colby and Tommy and Pete, i think deserve a nice one.

Posted by: annika at 01:12 PM | Comments (4) | Add Comment
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As i was walking through the lobby just now, Norman smiled at me and said "hey you." i smiled and said "hi," and kept walking. Then he said, "what's going on?" i said, "huh?" and kept walking. i had a stack of papers in my hand because, as usual, i was busy working. i don't have time to stand at the receptionist desk and shoot the shit, like he apparently has time to do. Then he asked, "are you ignoring me?" My response to that question was to ignore him and keep walking.

i feel like everybody in the firm knows he likes me and half of them think we're some sort of item, which boggles my mind. Enough with the knowing smiles, already. What has he been saying to them? i know i sound like a bitch, but it is becoming increasingly more difficult not to be rude.

Posted by: annika at 12:36 PM | Comments (12) | Add Comment
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Homo Sapiens Gigantostalkersaurus Rex. King of the giant stalking lizards.

Dude, you're huge. Dude, i can smell your b.o. Dude, your farts fucking linger twenty minutes after you leave the room.

Dude, stop bothering me while i'm trying to work. Dude, if you stand by my cubicle and want to "just say hi," and i refuse to make eye contact, and i keep typing while you talk about total bullshit, which i don't care about, that means i'm busy. There's a good chance that it also means i don't like you.

No, i don't like you like you either.

Dude, i know Valentine's day is coming up. Don't even think about it. If you slither anywhere near me on that day, i'll hurt you.

More: The thing that really creeps me out about Gigantostalkersaurus Rex, now that i think of it, is a little story he told me when he first started working here. This was back when everybody was being polite to the new temp, before he earned his nickname Norman. As in Norman Bates.

i had the misfortune of standing at the copier waiting for Norman to finish with a copy job one morning and we got on the subject of hiking. i like to hike. Seems Norman also likes to hike. i told him about a recent excursion i'd made up north of S.F., and how beautiful the country was up there.

That's when he shared the fact that he likes to go hiking alone. He also shared how much he loves frogs. At that moment i thought to myself: how interesting, because you resemble a frog so terribly much.

One time, when Norman was hiking in the hills all by himself he spied a muddy waterhole populated by a couple of his favorite ribbity friends. He was so happy to see them, he told me, that he "tore off all his clothes and jumped right in the mud with the frogs!"

i shit you not. The freak actually said that to me. i still can't figure out why anyone would admit that, but he did.

At that moment i decided to illuminate the "Warning, Weirdo Alert" siren in my head and take evasive manuevers. Picking up my own copy job, i made some excuse about needing to check my phone messages or something and retreated the fuck outta there.

That was about three months ago. i've been avoiding him ever since, but unfortunately he seems to think i'm playing hard to get.

Blech! Blech!

Posted by: annika at 12:09 PM | Comments (15) | Add Comment
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This evening dined with Mr. Jason, and my lady Betty, and her gentleman, which occasioned our thinking and remarking upon the happy life that we live now, having we nothing to care for but ourselves. Mr. Jason treated me most nobly, procuring a great platter of ribbonned dough seasoned in the Sicilian manner, and many flagons of ale and a bottle of wine, which was of very great flavour.

All our discourse and others are of his excellency's election, and we begin to speak of it very freely, and of Mr. Dean's outcry and of Mr. Kerry, who does wish to renounce the parliament and reside at his excellency's manse, supplanting his excellency thereby. Strange how these people do now promise anything: to each pauper a station, to each guild a full purse of coin, to each gentleman wisened with years a vessel of chemist's physic. I pray God to keep me from being too much lifted up thereby.

After that we went forth onto the high street and looked to buy a pair of tanned boots of sorrel hue and belt and hose, and finding none, after that Mr. Jason and the other gentleman led us to Brittania Tavern in Saint Monica's Lane, where Mr. H— and Mr. S— were, and we drank a great deal more of ale, and malted whiskey, and outside smoked the tobacco weed, and they paid all.

From thence to the Yankee Doodle tavern, where standing at the door Miss D— comes by, with her gentleman, and the two of them appearing very fond and loving to the other, and filled with drink. It pleasing us to admit them into our companie, we entered the tavern thusly and much merry making and reverie did come to pass, whilst betimes our gentlemen made to wager after the carom of the billiard.

After that took leave of our friends, who each of them was very sorry to part with us and such, and returned by my lady's carriage to Brent's Wood, and disembarking at the mews, retired by a lift conveyance to our dwelling flat, wherein we sat and talked, and beheld the television device before repairing to our respective chambers.

While in the midst of my ablutions and preparation for the bedchamber, did rang out from the telephone apparatus the announcement of my gentleman's very presence at the vestibule of our dwelling abode, though he bade us farewell but three quarters of the hour past. Still sleepy with drink and attired for the night, yet i took the gentleman into my chambers upstairs, and there did we dally a great while, drinking a mild beverage and talking till the gentleman began to be most loving to me and kind, whereupon was sustained the Latin nulla puella negat, but happily.

Posted by: annika at 02:26 PM | Comments (13) | Add Comment
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1 Your best yet, Annika. Pepys is proud. Do nice girls ever say no?

Posted by: Hugo at February 07, 2004 02:51 PM (R7IeP)

2 Right. OK. Fine. But didya get any?????? to each gentleman wisened with years a vessel of chemist's physic. Victorian Viagra! (Wonder if that'll have a hope in hell of getting through Pixy's Blacklist?) Beautifully done.

Posted by: Light & Dark at February 07, 2004 09:15 PM (Hrm9v)

3 Bravo! Excellente tournure. Kevin

Posted by: Kevin Kim at February 08, 2004 06:23 AM (WOf5M)

4 Actually, this version is somehow much more interesting than Peyps's.

Posted by: Matt Rustler at February 08, 2004 05:26 PM (of2d1)

5 "Pepys's," that is.

Posted by: Matt Rustler at February 08, 2004 05:27 PM (of2d1)

6 thanks, my pepys. i mean peeps.

Posted by: annika! at February 08, 2004 06:02 PM (TGZxa)

7 Prithee m'lady understand how her beauty of posting device has left us in a most betimely state of awe! Oh...and, hope the sex was great, too!

Posted by: Tuning Spork at February 08, 2004 06:31 PM (tN726)

8 A most delightful tale of merriment and mirth.

Posted by: Tiger at February 09, 2004 08:16 AM (qWgy0)

9 That is one of the best posts I have ever seen, on any blog. How creative!!

Posted by: ginger at February 09, 2004 11:12 AM (WX5CY)

10 find 'em, feed 'em, fuck 'em, forget 'em.

Posted by: JimmyCrackCorn at February 09, 2004 11:22 AM (/vawD)

11 nulla puella negat 1. "No young women says not" 2. "No young woman/girl refuses/denies [none/anything]" 3. "She refused me nothing"

Posted by: The Agnostic at February 09, 2004 04:27 PM (e09SV)

12 I don't know much about trackback, Annie, but I think yours may be malfunctioning. I linked to this post yesterday, but it's not showing up.

Posted by: Matt Rustler at February 09, 2004 09:17 PM (of2d1)

13 Ya know, letters to Penthouse usually work better when they're written in English.

Posted by: Victor at February 10, 2004 10:46 AM (L3qPK)

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i promised you news of my doings during my recent trip to Detroit. We didn't work on Martin Luther King Jr. Day, so our hosts gave us tickets to the North American International Auto Show at the Cobo Center. Always thinking of you, my visitors, i took some photographs of the cars that really impressed me.

Outside it was freezing cold. i'm not used to it. i'm a Californian, my nordic blood notwithstanding. Snow is something that belongs in the mountains. You ski on it. You don't drive on it. 50° is about as cold as i want it to be outside. Not fucking 20°!

There were five of us. Paul and i were the two senior paralegals, Linda and Grace the two associates, and Patricia the temp paralegal. The other temp, Kathy, stayed in the hotel room nursing the flu, which she eventually passed on to the rest of us.

The convention center was a sea of people. On the day we were there, the attendance was 41,415! And at any given time, at least one of the five of us was lost. Someone was always lagging behind, gawking at a vehicle, or in Paul's case, gawking at a spokesmodel. We used up a lot of cellphone minutes just trying to keep track of each other. Here's a view of the bedlam that greeted us inside the Cobo center.

One of the first cars that caught our eye was this Lincoln convertible concept car. Everything is going retro these days, but i think Ford did a real nice job on this baby. A little stodgy for my taste, but cool nonetheless. One thing i really liked was the pale cream colored leather interior. It was almost bluish; i've never seen a color like it. The official pictures are here.

No one does retro like Jaguar, though.

The Pontiac Solstice will be available next year, so i was told. It looks great, but i remember how shitty the Fiero was. Hopefully Pontiac has learned their lesson.

About lunchtime we all went out to the concession stands and paid through the nose for some hot dogs and sodas, which they called "pop." There was some sort of rock band playing music in the arena and we hung out there while we ate. Unfortunately, being the only smoker in the group i had to duck outside and freeze my ass to keep my nicotine levels up. Paul was nice enough to accompany me and chase away any homeless dudes, while i smoked.

We all kidded Linda about getting a new car. She makes a shitload of money, but she's still driving the same car she had in law school. A beat up Corolla from the eighties! She doesn't want to get rid of it because it's paid for and it still runs great. But we made it our mission to select Linda's next car and then apply relentless pressure on her until she buys it. My pick was this thing:

Too bad it's only a concept car and not on the market yet. It's called the Subaru B9SC Roadster, it's a hybrid and it is phat! Official pics are here. The windshield is made of special glass that changes the tint like some sunglasses do. Confidentially, i think Linda needs to upgrade her image to something sportier. Maybe this car will be available for sale by the time her Toyota finally craps out on her.

Paul noted that Linda's style is, shall we say, simple, tasteful, conservative . . . maybe somewhat dowdy. i don't think she considered that a compliment. At any rate, Paul encouraged her to stay with what made her comfortable. His choice for Linda's next vehicle was the Chrysler 300. That didn't go over too well either. i didn't take a picture of it, but here's what it looks like. Contemporarily stodgy. A bit more mature than my friend would like to go.

i think we all agreed on Linda's future car when we saw the new BMW mini SUV. We fell in love with it. It's called the X3. i sat in it and it's wonderful. So comfy. i just love the seats in german cars.

i didn't take any pictures of the X3 because it was at that moment that i heard music and birds singing and a heavenly light shone down and i became dizzy with feelings of intense desire. i saw this vehicle:

Oh yes, my darlings. BMW has revived the 6 series. In convertible. i stood there slack jawed and repeated to myself, "yes . . . yes . . . yes . . . 645ci, you are mine, baby!" Sure i'll never be able to afford it without marrying rich. But lemme dream, okay? i would look so damn good driving along Sunset in that bitch with the top down at a ridiculously high rate of speed. i get all weak and tingly just thinking about it. Gaze at these official pics, if you will. It's simply gorgeous.

After they dragged me away from my new love, we all went back to the hotel to rest and get ready for the evening. We met up with some of the in-house people for our client, who drove us down to a place called Dave & Buster's, which is apparently a chain, although it was the first i'd heard of them. They make a very good desert with bananas and caramel sauce.

The place is like an adult video arcade. Paul was in heaven. i tried a few of the shooting games, but i really liked the airplane simulator, even though i kept crashing. We had fun even though we couldn't get rip-roaring drunk like we wanted. We tried to keep up appearances since we were with the client's employees and we had to work early the next day.

And that was how i spent my MLK day.

Posted by: annika at 10:33 PM | Comments (4) | Add Comment
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