This just in. Bowing to criticism, it seems that President Bush will replace Miers with another woman whose credentials, some might argue, are similarly noteworthy.

i'm talking about Brittany, of course.

President Bush said that Spears, who is an expert in rhythmic 'dancercise' and has achieved notable success marketing recorded entertainment to the under-14 WASP demographic, will make 'a real good judge'. While the choice of Washington outsider Britney Spears is clearly intended to help deflect growing accusations of cronyism and insideropeia within the Bush administration, pundits on both sides of the isle nevertheless predict an uphill confirmation climb for the youthful entertainer.

Britney Spears, who joined the nomination announcement via video uplink, said she was 'totally excited' about the opportunity. 'This is like so cool,' said Ms. Spears. 'I mean, like, the Superior Court and everything. It's like a dream come true. I mean for somebody, I guess.'

Posted by: annika at 07:46 PM | Comments (4) | Add Comment
Post contains 179 words, total size 1 kb.

It was broken anyways.

Scroll down for Brittany's personal message to her fans.

i'm very confused by this auction. The item description is full of contradictory statements. Is the item for sale or isn't it? Do proceeds go to Hurricane Relief or to Brittany's foundation?

Developing...

[Hat tip to Steve at Poker for the Masses, who asks the following questions about playing in a charity poker game at the Playboy Mansion:

1) should i bring a towel?
2) how should I play 99? (strong is the correct answer)
3) should i tell my wife where the charity event is?
4) if yes, should i tell her before?

Posted by: annika at 08:14 AM | Comments (4) | Add Comment
Post contains 53 words, total size 1 kb.

Brittany Sex Tape release feared.

My prediction: she still has no talent.

Update: Her lawyers concur.

A copy of the original tape viewed by the couple's lawyers elicited laughter and disgust.

Update 2: My sources in the media have obtained for me a copy of the tape. It's dark and filmed in night vision green, but i was able to transcribe some of the audio for you.

Brittany: "is that better hun?"

Kevin: "uh-uh"

Brittany: "here let me..."

Kevin: "I don't..."

Brittany: "it's not..."

Kevin: "just..."

Brittany: "uhhh..."

Kevin: "maybe if you just..."

Brittany: "huh?"

Kevin: "ow"

Brittany: "sorry, I..."

Kevin: "no keep going..."

Brittany: "I'm..."

Kevin: "there... no... "

Brittany: "ow"

Kevin: "what?"

Brittany: "let's try it this, uh..."

Kevin: "wait..."

Brittany: "how about now?"

Kevin: "it's gone..."

Brittany: "what?"

Kevin: "it's no good..."

Brittany: "huh?"

Kevin: "sorry I'm just..."

Brittany: "huh?"

Kevin: "you're..."

Brittany: "i can't..."

Kevin: "ow"

Posted by: annika at 06:47 AM | Comments (5) | Add Comment
Post contains 170 words, total size 2 kb.