January 21, 2006
Long Live The Whale
I could only come up with four flippant* comments about the whale. They are as follows:
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- Haven't seen this many Londerners lining up to see a dead body since Diana's funeral.
- Why make such a big deal over this whale, when thousands of fish are lost along the Thames every day, and no one tries to save them. It's species favoritism, I tell you.
- Is there a way they can blame Bush for this one?
- "Unsuccessful attempts had been made during the night to encourage the Thames whale to swim back downriver." Maybe they should have tried a bikini whale.
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Posted by: annika at
03:43 PM
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1
1. Vive le Dauphin!
2. "C'est assez!" dit la baleine.
3. Quick solution to the whale's problems: grenade in blowhole.
4. Quicker solution: Sinead in blowhole.
5. Headline: A Confused Sir Elton John Sighted in Thames
6. Headline: Giant Sperm Attempts to Impregnate London
7. Headline: Disoriented Whale Likely Irish
8. Headline: Whale's Triumphant Swim to London Trumps Its 2004 Scaling of Eiffel Tower
9. Headline: Muslim Whale Decries British Decadence
10.
Headline: Whale Too Late to Watch David Blaine Stunt
Subtitle: "Piss,Fuck, Diddle!" Says Whale.
Kevin
Posted by: Kevin Kim at January 22, 2006 02:24 AM (TDwc6)
2
Now that's good comedy!
Posted by: annika at January 22, 2006 08:55 AM (BtM3x)
3
Crap. Kevin beat me to the angle I was going to use, or at least half of it: "Londoners Mourn Death of Oprah in Freak Thames Drowning; Scotland Yard Suspects French Involvement."
How about, "Autopsy: Thames Whale Had 0.3 BAC; Footie Yobs Sought in Investigation."
Shit. Those suck. I'm no comedian.
Posted by: Matt at January 22, 2006 10:23 AM (PYUlV)
4
Sperm whale impregnates London...
Ya know, if you think of a side view diagram of the reproductive system, and imagine southeast England as a uterus, London as an ovary, and the Thames as a fallopian tube...
Posted by: gcotharn at January 22, 2006 12:28 PM (KU0Ns)
5
Such rancor.
Posted by: will at January 23, 2006 02:32 AM (h7Ciu)
6
An anagram engine tells us that the phrase "WHALE IN THAMES" yields a gazillion anagrams. Among them:
SEW HIM THE ANAL
WHEEL HIM, SANTA
ELENA WHAM SHIT
ENEMA WITH LASH
MAN HEAL WHITES
HATE HIS LAWMEN
HI! HATE SLEW MAN!
HE HAS LAME TWIN
and every sperm bank's favorite:
HAIL SEMEN THAW!
Kevin
Posted by: Kevin Kim at January 23, 2006 04:44 AM (TDwc6)
7
Shit, shoulda quit while you were ahead.
Posted by: Casca at January 23, 2006 06:22 AM (y9m6I)
8
It's in London. They are British. So, they weren't lining up. They were "queuing" up. Sheesh, Annika. Don't be so culturally insensitive. 
Posted by: ccs178 (Chris) at January 23, 2006 07:32 AM (B5UVm)
9
"And there's more where that came from!" shouted the asshole.
Kevin
hee hee
Posted by: Kevin Kim at January 23, 2006 08:15 AM (1PcL3)
Posted by: Pachey at January 24, 2006 01:39 PM (BNTVs)
11
Great stuff Pachey. Blogrolled you.
Posted by: annika at January 24, 2006 01:49 PM (zAOEU)
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