The major announcement is this: I don't wanna do any more Brittany Spears posts. After her latest stunt, it's just not funny anymore.

One of my new year's resolutions for 2005, which I managed to keep, was not to blog about Paris Hilton. Now I think it's time to stop blogging about Brittany.

It's obvious she wants to enter the public consciousness again after her marriage hiatus. So she somehow got the brilliant idea that she should hang out with Paris Hilton, and copy the queen of skank's habits. Foremost among those habits is Paris's occasional tendency to show off her twat for the camera.

Paris does it on purpose, because it's part of her public image, and it works for her. But part of Brittany's charm, if you could call it that, was her lowbrow small town naïveté. Sure, she kissed Madonna, but part of me wants to believe that she didn't really know what that meant. "Ya mean people thawt that ah was lezbeeyin? Gawsh, ah had no ahdeeyah!"

But the planned crotch flash just isn't consistent with that simple image. It signals that Brittany plans to take her persona in a different direction, post K-Fed — into the realm of super-skankdom.

If I were advising Brittany, I'd say she is going in exactly the opposite direction she needs to go in order to rehabilitate her career. Even Paris knows that; witness the way she tried to close Brittany's legs in the picture above.

Publicity is publicity, negative or otherwise. Paris knows that too. But if Brittany really wants to be taken seriously, she should really take a look at how Christina Aguilera has managed her career. There's a girl who has found the happy medium between skankiness and musical talent.

Okay, maybe that's a little too ambitious for Brittany. No amount of vocal coaching would get her within one tenth of Christina's voice. But all I'm saying is, if you're going to be famous, at least be famous for something — not like Paris, who's famous only for being famous.

So if Brittany is just going to be a Paris Hilton clone, I'm not going to abet her anymore. It would only make me feel skanky by association.

Posted by: annika at 11:37 PM | Comments (8) | Add Comment
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1 It's the end of a skanky era. I hope Paris gets a few days off probation for good behavior.

Posted by: d-rod at November 29, 2006 12:00 AM (ATPlK)

2 Personally, I think she was just too wasted to know what she was doing, which is still way up there on the skank scale!

Posted by: Brad at November 29, 2006 02:39 AM (9ADYb)

3 All these ho bags want to do the super-slut thing because they think that is how Madonna made it to superstar status. And while that is true to an extent, Madonna, I have to admit, had something none of these imitators have, talent. She made some good songs and had a voice that while not great, was at least not whiney like a lot of female vocalists. My favorite females now are Shakira,(but her stuf is either real good or real bad, no inbetween) and I like the new stuff Mariah Carey has (hate her old stuff) Paris Hilton is actually so but ugly I could neither achieve nor sustain an erection even if the lights were off.

Posted by: kyle8 at November 29, 2006 04:13 AM (3QxNM)

4 It is time to open the Lindsay Lohan department in the Annika Media Empire.

Posted by: Jake at November 29, 2006 08:39 AM (V6rxT)

5 "Paris Hilton is actually so but ugly I could neither achieve nor sustain an erection even if the lights were off." Sorry to hear that Kyle. Obviously it's true what they say about you brokeback longhorns. They make pills that can help if you ever want to fake it. BTW, I'm not a spelling maven, but it's butt-ugly, and being an ass man, I've never understood the deprecatory nature of the appelation.

Posted by: Casca at November 29, 2006 09:19 AM (Y7t14)

6 One thing about Christina: Anyone else remember a year or two ago when she wanted to be called X-tina and she dressed in such a way she wouldn't be able to get work in a Las Vegas ranch because she looked too slutty? Somewhere, someone smacked her upside the head and told her it wouldn't work. Since then, she's tried to go for the 40's-50's era glamour goddess look, and for some bizarre reason, it seems to work on her. Plus, she really has a voice and doesn't need massive electronics to make her sound like a polished singer. I have no such hope for Britney.

Posted by: Victor at November 29, 2006 07:10 PM (l+W8Z)

7 gees...stop calling her brittany for fuck sakes l.o.l well...it seems that brittay is going down down down

Posted by: lux at December 08, 2006 12:07 PM (L7rSK)

8 I meant BRITTANY.

Posted by: lux again at December 08, 2006 12:07 PM (L7rSK)

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