A's J Exclusive!!!

CENTURY CITY, CA — Sources close to mega-pop star Lindsay Logan have confirmed that her emergency appendectomy was the result of a little known experimental procedure called "toxicological remote analysis of medical photography."

The new technique uses super-high magnification of ordinary photographs to enable early diagnosis of many life threatening ailments, according to doctors at Cedars Sinai Hospital in Los Angeles.

"By analyzing any external snapshot under extreme magnification one can often see inside the patient's body," explained Dr. Valderramma, a pioneer in the new technique. "It all depends of course, on the particular orifice present on the photographic film."

Dr. Valderramma, an otorhinolaryngologist, often uses toxicological remote analysis of medical photography to screen his own patients for tonsillectomies.

"The technique is most useful for diagnosing tonsillitis, since photographs showing a patient's mouth are commonly available," said Valderramma. Evidently, it was only a matter of time before someone applied the same method to check for disorders of the lower torso, such as appendicitis.

"Nowadays anyone can easily obtain photographs of a young lady's cootch on the internet," explained Dr. Valderramma. "So in a way, Ms. Lohan is quite lucky that someone performed the analysis on one of her paparazzi photos. Her own skankiness may have saved her life."

"It's just another example of the wonders of modern science," the doctor added with a wide grin.

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