"Al Gore will help me. He came up to me last night and said he would be very happy to have a conversation with me."
"If he is willing to help me, let's find out. Hilary Clinton, Bill Clinton, and Evan Metroplis, and John Daur who works with them would be willing, if we just ask. If we just ASK."
"Let's sue the tabloids for saying the things they say. Defamation of character."
"our society should be educated for the better of our country. Our people . . . because I have such an impact on our younger generations, as well as generations older than me. Which we all know and can obviously see."
"It's my life. I want to live it. People cannot lie and think that it is okay to continue on having done so. I have had many ups and downs, as do we all. But to make false accusations to one girl is unjust in my opinion. I am willing to do anything I need to get my life the way it should be."
"[I'm at] such a young and tender age in a woman's life. It's enough already, I've had enough and I am going to be the one to make a change."
If you wanna make the world a bet-ter place, take a look at your-self and make that...
...change.
oooh... oooh... nanana na na na na na na...
Sorry.
Back to Lindsay's email. Memo to Lindsay: nobody gives a fuck. Except me of course, because I need a new skankwoman to post about, and you're as good as any.
1
Sorry Lindsay, Al Gore is going to insist that you wear panties when you get in and out of cars
Posted by: Jake at December 07, 2006 12:55 PM (V6rxT)
2
... which would be the exact opposite advice Bill Clinton would've gave.
Boom!! Yeeeow!! Wham!!!...
Posted by: ElMondoHummus at December 07, 2006 02:21 PM (hbe/i)
3
y u hatin on linzee cuz shez mor butiful
Posted by: Casca at December 07, 2006 02:55 PM (Y7t14)
4
Wear panties locally, expose yourself globally.
Posted by: DBrooks at December 07, 2006 03:17 PM (sF8bT)
5
Gosh, it sounds like she is being coached by Barbara Streisand!
Posted by: beth at December 07, 2006 05:00 PM (1OgDG)
6
You know, it just sunk in: "Al Gore will help me"?
Da heck?? LL's invoking Al Gore as a deity now?
SARCASM TIME!!!!
Gore is our refuge and strength, a very present help in trouble.
Gore blesses those whose hearts are pure, for they will see Gore.
Fear Gore and keep his commandments, for this is the whole duty of man. For Gore will bring every deed into judgment, including every hidden thing, whether it is good or evil.
For Gore who said, "Let light shine out of darkness," made his light shine in our hearts and in our movie theaters to give us the light of knowledge of the glory of Gore in the face of An Inconvenient Truth.
Thou shalt have no other Gores before Gore.
Thou shalt not take Gore's name in vain.
Posted by: ElMondoHummus at December 07, 2006 06:28 PM (xHyDY)
7
Wow... got my year's worth of blasphemy in on one post. Time for this catholic to go to confession...
Posted by: ElMondoHummus at December 07, 2006 06:30 PM (xHyDY)
8
"Thou shalt have no other Gores before Gore."
Man, if i was still doing Huge Comment of the Week, that would win!
Posted by: annika at December 07, 2006 06:46 PM (oantJ)
9
Forget it; I've heard your confession; say ten Hail Marys and perform an act of contrition, and you are absolved.
Posted by: shelly at December 07, 2006 09:42 PM (YadGF)
10
comparing crotch shots, The Brittany crotch was pretty good, I had to avoid looking directly at the diseased twat of the Paris entity, But Lindsys crotch had a sort of twisted up crumpled look to it, like worn old rethread tire with some of the steel belts poking through.
Posted by: kyle8 at December 08, 2006 04:19 AM (JMNW6)
11
I have to agree with you kyle. It had the look of a road well travelled.
Shelly, I never took you for a pedophile?
Anni, speaking of HCOTW, I notice one name glaringly absent from the Laureates list. WTF gurlfren?
Posted by: Casca at December 08, 2006 07:42 AM (Y7t14)
12
I still think Gore's going to be busy for the next couple of years. This of course means that Lindsay's about three weeks away from appearing in the next Screech video offering.
Oddly, I don't think that she'll mind the Fish Eye or Dirty Sanchez all that much. There's a lot to be said for the heavily medicated.
Be adequite! That's the only way Robert Altman will ever be proud of you.
Posted by: skippystalin at December 08, 2006 08:51 AM (OzEoC)
13
Okay, I'm a prick, but isn't she 20 years old? When she's drinking in those upscale clubs why don't the police arrest her and the club owner? Forget her, she's an idiot, but the bartenders and owners know she's underage. I hate this shit because it makes it seem like they are above the law. No wonder we have problems.
Posted by: Larry at December 08, 2006 09:06 AM (hRx9a)
14
I confessed to Shelly? Damn, I must've been
really drunk that night...
You know, I actually don't harbor any hate towards the Brit or LL (BTW: 3 times I've looked at this post, and I just now noticed that LL's name is misspelled in the main post: Logan? Anyhoo...). With the Brit settling down to be a mom, and LL taking a couple of real roles, I was hoping there was a sort of maturation there that would lead them to actually be respectible artists. Sure, didn't think either one of them was in danger of actually becoming deep or profound, let alone winning any Oscars or Nobels or anything, but I was thinking maybe they were making moves towards not being inane and vapid.
Nope. Not so. Reality killed the charitable view. We're seeing nothing more than a spectacle of party ho's. That's all.
Posted by: ElMondoHummus at December 08, 2006 09:14 AM (hbe/i)
15
It's ugly watching children raise themselves.
Posted by: Casca at December 08, 2006 11:05 AM (Y7t14)
16
Sorry Casca, I don't know if you remember about 6 months ago, my sidebar was totally demolished. I made the mistake of trying to rebuild the blog from my cell phone and my template got fried. So I had to use an old version of the template, which didn't have your name on the HCOTW section. I still haven't gotten around to fixing it yet.
Posted by: annika at December 08, 2006 01:02 PM (zAOEU)
17
Why not bring back the HCOTW?
I agree your Gore-ism should have won if you were still doing it. That was good shit.
Casca had a good one last week. Can't remember it exactly but it concerned the fact that some dude's posts sucked pretty much all the time. Pretty fucking funny.
Posted by: blu at December 08, 2006 06:32 PM (swnTx)
18
Actually I should revoke Casca's for harshing on my awesome co-blogger!
Posted by: annika at December 08, 2006 07:29 PM (oantJ)
19
Yes you should anni. Sometimes I'm just an unspeakably cruel motherfucker. Ask Moxie. Then again, those who are full of themselves walk through this world with a huge bullseye painted on their chest.
Blu, I love you too.
Posted by: Casca at December 09, 2006 02:15 PM (2gORp)
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