Yesterday they mentioned my idea on MSNBC, and now today they're talking about me on Fox News! Click on the picture to see the clip.

Fame! i wanna live forever!

Remember the annika's Blogversary Poker Party is Wednesday night at 7:00 p.m. California time.

remember... remember... remember...

Posted by: annika at 08:01 AM | Comments (4) | Add Comment
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This is big.

i thought he was joking when James Ozark, who runs A Western Heart, alerted me to the fact that Jeff Jarvis had mentioned my Elton John for U.N. Secretary General idea on MSNBC today.

But it's true! Here's the Quicktime video to prove it.

i'm so jazzed, i'm gonna have that .mpg file bronzed and hang it on the fucking wall!

i told you my idea would catch on like wildfire. Dinitellyou? i sure did! And you know why? Because it's a great idea, that's why. Singers and international politics go together like liver and onions.

Check it out. Now they want Bono for president of the World Bank, and Bush just named Michael Bolton as Ambassador to the U.N.

Ha ha, and i started the whole ball rolling! Me, me, me, me, me!

Tip of the hat to Jackson's Junction.

Posted by: annika at 08:40 PM | Comments (6) | Add Comment
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Say it ain't so Phil?!

Please tell me that was photoshopped...

p.s. i know there's a "skins" joke in there somewhere...

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LaDonna Davis: "...and then he chomped off my thumb..."

Charlie Gibson: "...you knew right away he was attacking..."

Me: "...Duuuh..."

LaDonna Davis: "...we tried to reason with them..."

Me: "...Duuuh..."

LaDonna Davis: "...I don't know where his thoughts were coming from..."

Me: "...Duuuh..."

LaDonna Davis: "...Everybody's an individual, you have to look for the good. Every being, every animal's an individual..."

Me: "...it's a fucking chimp, dude..."

Posted by: annika at 07:41 AM | Comments (7) | Add Comment
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Haven't seen that much tongue on tv since Huell Howser went to Canter's on Fairfax.

Posted by: annika at 10:58 PM | Comments (7) | Add Comment
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i've started a fantasy baseball league for bloggers on Yahoo! The League is called MLBloggers (Major League Bloggers, get it?).

It's a rotisserie league with a non-live draft. Rotisserie is cool because it's less time consuming than head-to-head leagues. You can tinker with your line-up as much or as little as you want.

So far ten bloggers have signed up:

Dawn Summers' of Clareified has the East Coco Beach Metropolitans;

Victor the Rat-Boy of Publius and Company has the Rats of Chaos;

Ted of Rocket Jones has the Rockets;

Paul of Sanity's Edge has the Sanity's Edge... ers;

Matt of Irreverent Probity has the Biloxi Turds (eeew);

Greg of The End Zone has Hank's Homey's, and explains the name thusly;

Zombyboy of Resurrection Song has the Zombyesque Zombies;

The Maximum Leader of Nakedvillainy has the Bashers;

Physics Geek of Physics Geek has the Physics Geeks;

And then there's my own annika's A's.

There's room for two more bloggers in the league. If you wanna join Major League Bloggers just shoot me an email and i'll send you the password. You have to have a Yahoo! id to sign up.

Fantasy baseball is a grat way to follow the season, and it's fun to get interested in different players that you wouldn't normally care about if they're not on your hometown team.

Oh, and as an added inducement, i'll award a championship stein from cafepress to the winner at the end of the season. As if bragging rights weren't enough!

On a related note, don't forget this Wednesday is the annie's journal blogversary poker party. Details will be posted later on.

Posted by: annika at 09:06 PM | Comments (3) | Add Comment
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Pollhost censored me.

If you click on "My most controversial poll ever: Which two androids should be fucking?" you will find that they shut me down without even a warning. Those bastards.

But i'm not deterred by the new decency standards. As a proud blogger, if i want to write about robots fucking, i will insist on my first amendment right to use the f-word.

Anyways, the excitement of my "most controversial poll ever" died down pretty quickly after the result became a forgone conclusion. Last i checked, i looked like about 70% of voters wanted to see Star Trek Voyager's Borg chick, 7 of 9, get together with the Daryl Hannah replicant from Blade Runner.

Not a bad choice you pervs, but if you ask me, the obvious choice should have been Inspector Gadget and the late Optimus Prime. Two transformers? Come on people. Think of the all mechanical/sexual permutations that would have been possible.

At any rate. i aim to please, so here's your robotic fantasy come to life:

As for me, if i could get it on with the android of my choice, it would have to be this hottie, no contest.

Posted by: annika at 11:50 AM | Comments (8) | Add Comment
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Always pushing the envelope of efficiency.

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Flirting that's too subtle:

When the barrista, the cute one with the reddish hair and high cheekbones, calls you hon, twice, and flashes that smile, and then when you smile back and your eyes meet, and there's that slight pause, barely imperceptible, but you notice it, and you think there's a moment there that maybe you might capitalize on later, and then you turn your back and slowly step over to the cream and sugar table, and you think you feel his eyes on you as you go, and it makes you feel sort of sexy, but instead you overhear him calling the next customer hon too, even twice... That's flirtation so subtle as to be non-existent.

Flirting that's not subtle enough:

When you're standing at the professor's table after class, and there's a big crowd of students around, some also waiting for the prof and some just trying to get out of the classroom, and you're waiting your turn patiently and some dude is trying to get by and so you turn your back to make room, and he turns his back and starts to slide sideways by you, and there's no more room cuz you're up against a desk and he keeps sliding instead of turning around and going out the other door like a reasonable non-perv would do, and then your ass cheeks slide-bump-slide-bump-slide together in a moment so intimate you almost want to be held afterwards... That's flirtation that could stand a little more subtlety.

Posted by: annika at 12:04 PM | Comments (9) | Add Comment
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i was one of those who thought that Martha got railroaded. But still, i am sad to see her get out of prison for the sole reason that Jeff's hilarious series of blog posts must now come to an end.

And, he's a Prufrock fan!

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Isn't this how the Planet of the Apes began?

Two people were seriously injured and two chimpanzees were shot dead today in Kern County after several chimps broke from their cages at an animal sanctuary and attacked workers.

. . .

Animal Haven employees shot and killed two of the escaped chimpanzees, but two other chimps remain on the loose. Officials say it is unclear how the animals escaped from their cages.

Those chimps could be anywhere by now. Especially if they hijack a car. Be careful out there, and don't trust them treacherous chimps. Frank J. is right. They'll kill you, first chance they get.

Update: We can all breathe easier, the fugitive simians have been recaptured.

Those apes are animals. Literally.

KGET-TV of Bakersfield said the man and woman were at the Animal Haven Ranch to celebrate the birthday of Moe, which was not involved in today's attack.

After the couple arrived with a cake, two other chimpanzees - named Buddy and Ollie - went for the visitors.

Dr Maureen Martin, of Kern Medical Centre, said the apes had chewed most of the man's face off and that he would require extensive surgery in an attempt to reattach his nose.

LaDonna Davis suffered a bite wound to the hand.

Buddy and Ollie were shot and killed. Two other chimps which had also escaped were recaptured - one was cornered three kilometres from the sanctuary, 137kms north of downtown Los Angeles.

Update: i hadn't heard about the dude's nuts getting eaten, until OC Chuck and Papertiger's comments. Ouch. Since both of the above links seem to be broken, here's the ABC News story.

Posted by: annika at 11:30 PM | Comments (8) | Add Comment
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Audrey:

In the end those of us that walk away winning win more than just a loss.

You just lost babe. That made no sense whatsoever.

Posted by: annika at 10:05 PM | Comments (3) | Add Comment
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Okay Randy Moss is a punk, but he's a silver and black punk now, so that makes him okay in my book. And he's an awesome receiver, the real deal. Hopefully Davis won't decide to bench him like he did with some other stars i can name: Allen, Brown, Rice.

There are always guys who have that certain something that makes you know they will end up as Raiders someday. Kevin Greene had the hair. Sapp and Romo had the 'tude. Rice had the Bay Area love. And Moss has the bad-ass. When he faked dropping trou at Green Bay last year i said to myself, that guy belongs in Oakland.

Welcome Randy. The black hole is gonna love you!

Posted by: annika at 11:31 AM | Comments (5) | Add Comment
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1 And Alzado had the steroids. Say what you will about them, the Raiders are the only team today that even tries to have a distinctive personality. If someone decided one morning to send the Baltimore Ravens back to Cleveland and send the "new" Cleveland Browns to Baltimore in exchange, I doubt that anyone would be able to tell the difference.

Posted by: Ontario Emperor at March 03, 2005 12:11 PM (v9NCH)

2 Now all they need is Maurice Claret to round things out.

Posted by: Casca at March 03, 2005 03:50 PM (cdv3B)

3 Casca, ROFL did you catch his 40 times at the combine. first pass was a blistering 4.86. he followed that with a 4.72. not bad for a d-tackle. the 6'-6" stork of a q-back from arkansas posted a 4.4. geez.

Posted by: louielouie at March 03, 2005 05:10 PM (i7mWl)

4 He's a lazy stupid cocksucker, or perhaps you hadn't noticed. Better than his pathetic performance was his excuse. You see, he had overtrained, and was too muscular. Can you tell that Jim Brown is his mentor? I predict that Mo rees goes undrafted, and doesn't make it as a free agent through ANYBODY'S camp. He'll be bagging groceries at Ruly's by September. Stupid fuck.

Posted by: Casca at March 03, 2005 10:17 PM (cdv3B)

5 Why the fuck is Moss wearing #18?? This Vikings fan is afraid that we got rid of him just as he was about to mature.

Posted by: Todd at March 04, 2005 08:51 PM (rywVr)

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Jake is the annika's journal Man of the Year!

Congratulations, Jake on this great honor!

: )

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Bubba, the giant lobster, is dead.

Update: At 24 lbs., they could feed 32 mourners using this recipe. They should try it at Bubba's after-funeral pot luck.

Posted by: annika at 11:16 PM | Comments (4) | Add Comment
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The Roman poet Ovidius, who was Jesus' contemporary, knew a little bit about the ladies. As a public service for my male visitors, whether single and looking or happily married, i have selected the following excerpt from Ovid's The Art of Love. Ovid's poetry is always fun, despite the fact that he was a lawyer. It's amazing how timeless his advice can be.

Book I Part XIV

DonÂ’t delight in curling your hair with tongs,
donÂ’t smooth your legs with sharp pumice stone.
Leave that to those who celebrate Cybele the Mother,
howling wildly in the Phrygian manner.
Male beautyÂ’s better for neglect: Theseus
carried off Ariadne, without a single pin in his hair.
Phaedra loved Hippolytus: he was unsophisticated:
Adonis was dear to the goddess, and fit for the woods.
Neatness pleases, a body tanned from exercise:
a well fitting and spotless togaÂ’s good:
no stiff shoe-thongs, your buckles free of rust,
no sloppy feet for you, swimming in loose hide:
donÂ’t mar your neat hair with an evil haircut:
let an expert hand trim your head and beard.
And no long nails, and make sure theyÂ’re dirt-free:
and no hairs please, sprouting from your nostrils.
No bad breath exhaled from unwholesome mouth:
donÂ’t offend the nose like a herdsman or his flock.
Leave the rest for impudent women to do,
or whoeverÂ’s the sort of man who needs a man.

In other words, don't stink, brush your teeth once in a while, keep yourself clean, but not too neat. Some muscles and a nice tan are always a plus. Chicks still dig a manly man, so please don't shave your legs and it's time to stop getting free haircuts from mom. Spend the money on a good stylist, but don't overdo it. You don't wanna look like a chick, and you definitely don't wanna look gay.

A lumberjack style plaid toga might have been a good choice when cruising the forum for babes, i would imagine.

Posted by: annika at 10:40 PM | Comments (8) | Add Comment
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Rolling Stone has a good article regarding the ineffectiveness of those arrogant jerks at MoveOn.org. Here are the highlights:

They signed up 500,000 supporters with an Internet petition -- but Bill Clinton still got impeached. They organized 6,000 candlelight vigils worldwide -- but the U.S. still invaded Iraq. They raised $60 million from 500,000 donors to air countless ads and get out the vote in the battle-ground states -- but George Bush still whupped John Kerry. A gambler with a string of bets this bad might call it a night. But MoveOn.org just keeps doubling down.

. . .

Moveon is guided by a tiny, tightknit group of leaders. There are only ten of them, still deeply committed to the Internet start-up ethos of working out of their homes and apartments in better-dead-than-red bastions such as Berkeley, California, Manhattan and Washington, D.C. For a political organization that likes to rail against 'the consulting class of professional election losers,' MoveOn seems remarkably unconcerned about its own win-loss record. Talk to the group's leadership and you won't hear much about the agony of defeat.

. . .

But some insiders worry that putting left-wing idealists in charge of speaking to the center seems about as likely to work as chewing gum with your feet. 'There's a built-in tension between the views of people who are part of MoveOn and contribute to it, and the people they're trying to reach,' says Ed Kilgore of the centrist Democratic Leadership Council.

. . .

If speaking to the center was MoveOn's goal, 'they failed miserably,' says Greg Strimple, a media consultant who advised the Senate campaigns of three GOP moderates. 'None of their ads had an impact on the center electorate that needed to be swung.' If the group's leadership saw anything broken with its advertising during the campaign, though, it shows no signs of fixing it. In a rush to get its new Social Security ad on the air, MoveOn didn't even test it.

The ad, which depicts senior citizens performing manual labor, was not only paid for by MoveOn members but was also created by them. This kind of closed feedback loop is indicative of a larger problem: the group's almost hermetic left-wing insularity. 'We don't get around much,' acknowledges Boyd. 'We tend to all stay in front of our keyboards and do the work.'

. . .

So who is MoveOn? Consider this: Howard Dean finished first in the MoveOn primary. Number Two wasn't John Kerry or John Edwards -- it was Dennis Kucinich. Listing the issues that resonate most with their membership, Boyd and Blades cite the environment, the Iraq War, campaign-finance reform, media reform, voting reform and corporate reform. Somewhere after freedom, opportunity and responsibility comes 'the overlay of security concerns that everybody shares.' Terrorism as a specific concern is notably absent. As are jobs. As is health care. As is education.

There's nothing inherently good or bad in any of this. It's just that MoveOn's values aren't middle-American values. They're the values of an educated, steadily employed middle and upper-middle class with time to dedicate to politics -- and disposable income to leverage when they're agitated. That's fine, as long as the group sticks to mobilizing fellow travelers on the left. But the risks are greater when it presumes to speak for the entire party.
[emphasis added]

Or not.

Update: Brittany weighs in with her own opinion of Rolling Stone:

I think the same guy who does Rolling Stone does Us Weekly. He's this big old fat man.

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Next Wednesday is my two year blogversary! i never thought i'd make it past one year, but here i am. i'd like to celebrate with a party for you all as my way of saying thanks. It don't matter if you're a new or old visitor, or even if you've never left a comment before. Everyone is invited. Once in the distant past, i held a Yahoo! pool party that was really fun, although only sparsely attended because i didn't give much notice. Now with the popularity of online poker, i'm considering the idea of an annika-versary poker party on Yahoo! Either that or pool. The advantage to a poker party is that everyone can participate at the same time, instead of one-on-one competition while everybody else chats. Of course, no money changes hands in Yahoo! poker, but that's okay, since i suck at poker anyways. It's all about the bragging rights, and the chance to socialize in cyberspace with my blog pals. And of course, since the money isn't real, drinking a large quantity of alcohol while playing shouldn't be a problem. Let me know what you think.

Update: Poker it is.

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1 Congrats!

Posted by: JD at March 02, 2005 04:46 AM (pQrtL)

2 Is this from the beginning of your BlogSnot blog, or your citizenship in Munuvia? Either way, congratulations, and an online poker tourney sounds like fun! I'll try to make it if you announce the where and when. (NOTE: You know if you try to put "p0ker c0m..." in the comments of a Munuvian blog, it won't go thru? Heh.)

Posted by: Victor and his seventeen pet rats at March 02, 2005 05:45 AM (L3qPK)

3 Thanks, JD. Victor, it's 2 years from the beginning of the Glogspot days. We'll do it next Wednesday, probably starting at like 7:00 pm California time. i'll post an announcement next week about which Yahoo! room, etc.

Posted by: annika at March 02, 2005 07:36 AM (N1ocN)

4 Not to sound repetitive or anything, but yet another "Congrats!" 7PM your time's only 10 here on the east coast, so it shouldn't be any problem: I'll try to be there. Should be fun.

Posted by: Dave J at March 02, 2005 08:27 AM (CYpG7)

5 I will consume mass quantities for the occasion.

Posted by: d-rod at March 02, 2005 09:51 AM (CSRmO)

6 Strip, right? I'll be there in my silk pajamas.

Posted by: Casca at March 02, 2005 06:02 PM (cdv3B)

7 I missed poker night last time, someone please remind me when it happens...

Posted by: Chris at March 02, 2005 10:32 PM (kkrSe)

8 Try to choose one of the less-populated social lounges, so we don't have to worry about back doors. I'm going to be busy in theatre rehearsals until after 10, but if I'm not completely burnt out (smoked out?) I'll try to join. I've met some good people via Yahoo! Poker.

Posted by: Ontario Emperor at March 03, 2005 12:24 PM (v9NCH)

9 I'm in!

Posted by: Karol at March 05, 2005 06:13 PM (NFi+H)

10 I'm in! And I plan on taking all your Yahoo Money!~

Posted by: Frisbeedude at March 08, 2005 08:09 AM (KRtuM)

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The challenge: create a photoshop image that is even more freakin' disturbing than yesterday's Ward Churchil image.

Mission accomplished? i'll let you be the judge.

That's pretty ugly, but not as ugly as what he said on the floor of the Senate today, when he equated Senate Republicans with Hitler. Radio Blogger has the details.

Bird has completely lost his senses. How ironic for a Klansman to be lecturing on Nazism. At least he knows his subject.

By the way, i fully support this idea. If it's good enough for our stamps and money, it's good enough for West Virginia.

Posted by: annika at 09:47 PM | Comments (3) | Add Comment
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A procedure that involves drilling two holes into a person's skull and then implanting electrodes in the brain has shown promise in treating individuals who are severely depressed and resistant to other types of treatment.

Posted by: annika at 01:42 PM | Comments (2) | Add Comment
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