The following countries are sniveling cowardly wimps:

France
Germany
Spain
Dominican Republic
Nicaragua
Honduras
Thailand
Norway
New Zealand
The Philippines

Posted by: annika at 10:39 AM | Comments (12) | Add Comment
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"Britney was my sex-mad bride": Jason Alexander tells all.

Link thanks to Jennifer, who seems to always find this stuff before me. ; )

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On his radio show tonight, Alan Colmes mentioned the website of a new liberal propaganda tool called "Fuck the Vote" The site is absolutely not work safe, so here's the idea, in their own words:

SEXY LIBERALS OF THE U.S. UNITE in taking back the government from the sexually repressed, right-wing, zealots in control! Everyone knows liberals are hotter than conservatives - we look hotter, we dress hotter, our ideas are hotter, and we are infinitely hotter in the sack. We must use this to our advantage - as one more weapon in a diverse arsenal to strip the conservatives of their power (by stripping them of their clothes first).

Believe it or not, even the most seemingly deeply rooted right-wing ideologue can be manipulated by sex. As we all know, the sex drive is a powerful beast that has the potential to change people. People lie for sex, they cheat for sex, they even kill for sex - and you can be sure that they will change the way they think (and therefore vote) for sex. All you need to be armed with are your sexy progressive values, a razor-sharp wit, your genitalia, and a mindset that doesn't mind taking one for the team.

At Fuck The Vote we provide a Pledge Sheet that can be used conveniently before becoming physically intimate with a conservative, The Pledge Sheet asks the signee to make a promise to vote for anyone but George Bush in the November election. FTV has not endorsed a single candidate but recommends strategic voting. We also encourage FTV fans to take road trips this summer to swing(er) states to collect pledges. If you collect a pledge let us know about it on the Swinger States page! Have safe fun fucking over Bush while fucking for votes.

So, why not have a conservative version of this thing? Using the liberal pledge as a template, it might go something like this:

I, the undersigned, pledge my vote for George W. Bush on November 2, 2004 in return for getting laid by a hot freaky conservative.

I understand that this pledge is a symbol of good faith that I will cast my vote for a strong, safe and vibrant America, for a president who will stand up straight and tall for the values that make this country great, who will defend this country rigidly as we plunge forward into the future, and for a tax policy that stimulates growth by pumping more and more money into the private sector again and again and again. I further promise that i will not vote for candidates who promise a flaccid foreign policy or a limp and disappointing economic plan.

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1 Awesonme! I found this and mentioned it on my blog the other day...but not with your twist!

Posted by: Jennifer at July 14, 2004 10:58 PM (Wr1uX)

2 I'm still undecided. I might vote for Kerry, but a hot freaky conservative could influence me to pull the lever for Bush (so to speak).

Posted by: d-rod at July 15, 2004 07:57 AM (6lzRE)

3 Oh, I could tell you some things about what some liberals do in bed... ah, the memories. But then I became a good Christian boy, put away the piercings, and worked hard at repressing all that energy!

Posted by: Hugo at July 15, 2004 08:54 AM (9ndHD)

4 I'm sure both of these plans will be just as effective in influencing this year's election as the Lysistrata Project was in influencing last year's policy in Iraq.

Posted by: Xrlq at July 15, 2004 10:48 AM (k4RhX)

5 Is that their mission statement or did they copy if from the intro to My Life?

Posted by: Stephen Macklin at July 15, 2004 11:38 AM (UquFN)

6 well, in their defense, the "anyone but bush" motto could have some perks...

Posted by: candace at July 15, 2004 12:58 PM (hZHYA)

7 My boyfriend is a Conservative. Hot and rockin', he is.

Posted by: Amy at July 15, 2004 02:46 PM (RpVKX)

8 Where do I sign?

Posted by: Desert Cat at July 15, 2004 10:46 PM (c8BHE)

9 I can't wait to "get laid by a hot freaky conservative", but I have to wait for him to get back from Iraq first...

Posted by: Sarah at July 17, 2004 06:49 AM (vMhet)

10 I'd sure like to tell some conservative I'd vote for Bush and then exploit them...where do I sign up?

Posted by: Chuck at August 11, 2004 01:57 PM (uftg2)

11 The phrase "hot freaky conservative" shall now be stuck in my mind for the next weeks. (Kinda like the words "widgets," "greenacre," and "due diligence" from the law school days.)

Posted by: Mark at September 08, 2004 05:15 PM (Vg0tt)

12 The phrase "hot freaky conservative" shall now be stuck in my mind for the next 2 weeks. (Kinda like the words "widgets," "greenacre," and "due diligence" from the law school days.)

Posted by: Mark at September 08, 2004 05:15 PM (Vg0tt)

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Besides my family, my best friend and my former-boyfriend, things i miss include: morning runs on San Vicente Boulevard, Bill Handel's radio show, The Hollywood Bowl, and it may sound trite but yes, i miss sunset at the beach. Oh yah, and deli food. You can always find good deli food there. And, of course, convenient parking most of the time.

Things to not miss include: traffic jams due to road construction on every single street everywhere at all times, all tailgaters, and stupid Mercedes-Benz drivers who don't think they have to stop at four way stop signs because they're oh-so-much-more-important than everyone else. These drivers are probably the same pretentious a-holes who sit in Starbuck's and make it a point to talk about their latest "project" as loud as possible.

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1 Hey Annika, have you tried the 33rd Street Bistro at 33rd and Folsom east of Business 80? Yummy, yummy, but cheap food

Posted by: Chris at July 14, 2004 08:20 PM (Tatcr)

2 Know the similarity between hemmoroids and Mercedes Benzes? Sooner or later, every asshole in West Los Angeles has one or two.

Posted by: shelly s. at July 15, 2004 12:44 PM (AaBEz)

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i had intended to make this announcement last Friday, but i pulled the post because of my family emergency. So now, i am at liberty to reveal the following:

Coming soon, right here at annika's journal:

Rip Matt Yglesias Week!

It promises to be a fun summertime diversion.

Stay tuned for details and schedule.

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Over at Trying to Grok, Sarah has an excerpt from Teresa Heinz-Kerry's recent appearance on Larry King's show.

LARRY KING: What do you think, Teresa, would be the effect of another terror attack on the United States politically?

TERESA HEINZ-KERRY: I don't know. I think most Americans subconsciously believe something is going to happen. It's a matter of when. And it's a matter of how.

KING: Strange way to live, though.

HEINZ-KERRY: Yeah. But you know, Europeans have lived that way and other people around the world have lived that way. Americans have been very safe, at least as a nation.

Anyway, the exchange reminded me of a news program i saw while on vacation in Portugal two years ago. It was on either BBC or Sky News or CNN International. One of those English language channels they have on hotel cable in Europe.

The show was a panel discussion with your typical Euro-lefties outnumbering a token representative of the Bush administration, who was a State Department guy who's name i don't remember.

One Euro-lefty said to the State Department guy, regarding the 9/11 attack: "Now you Americans know what we in Europe have been dealing with for decades."

The State Department guy (you could tell he had been holding his tongue throughout the discussion, despite all that typical Euro-condescension) then responded with words that i remember to this day, because it so clearly states the difference between America and the rest of the world.

He said something like: "Well we're not going to deal with it. We're Americans."

i'm sure that sounded pretty arrogant to the Euro-lefties, but Betty and i applauded him, right there in our hotel room. Because that's what America is all about. We fix things. Let Europe adapt to terrorism. We'll have none of that. We'll fix the problem, even if it means taking risks and pissing people off.

It may be a cliché but it can't be said often enough: true Americans don't forget that we saved Europe's ass three times in the last century. Europeans hate to be reminded of that fact, though.

What the left refuses understand is that the Iraq war was necessary in order to fix the problem of terrorism. One reason the left doesn't understand is because the Bush administration has done a poor job of explaining it. The other reason is that the left simply hates America.

The Iraq war was a first step in fixing the terrorism problem. This is not going to be a band-aid solution. Bush and Blair, and those coalition members who still have the guts to stick this thing out, understand that we are in a struggle that will only get worse if we don't change the way we "deal with it." The other option is to adapt to terrorism, like the Europeans, and we know how unsuccessful that strategy has been.

We went into Iraq and kicked out Saddam Hussein because we need to change the Middle East. We can't leave it as it is, an incubator of violent anti-Americanism and anti-semitism (which are synonyms to the enemy). We need to bring democracy to that backwards-ass area so that they will stop attacking and killing people.

Sure, not everybody believes that method will work, but what was the alternative? Bush has been pro-active rather than re-active about the problem of terrorism. We needed a bold solution, with "outside-the-box" thinking rather than what the Euros and the left want us to do - which is to continue the failed policy of responding with tough rhetoric and weak law enforcement solutions.

i, for one believe that democratization of the Middle East will work, and that we can accomplish that goal, given enough time and effort. Democracies are by their nature more peaceful than autocracies. Democracies never attack other democracies. i can't think of a single historical example of a democracy attacking another democracy (not counting civil wars, and even then, the American Civil War barely fits).

But Heinz-Kerry, because she's both a Euro and a lefty, cannot understand America and the things that make this country great. It's the optimism and can-do attitude of Theodore Roosevelt and Ronald Reagan that gives us the boldness to succeed. If the lefties and the Euros see that as arrogance, so be it. To paraphrase a favorite bumper sticker, we'll save their asses, whether they like it or not.

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After missing two and a half days of work, i spend my morning searching the web for this Wednesday's poem. That's how much i love you all.

You may see that i changed the blog's epigram over there on the left. The new epigram is a verse from Bob Marley's "Buffalo Soldier," which states one of my main purposes for doing this blog, however arrogant or ironic the epigram might sound.

The Spoon River Anthology by Edgar Lee Masters is a classic of American literature. If this book was not assigned to you in high school, you should call your principal and demand to know why.

i saw Spoon River performed a few years ago at a little theater in L.A., and i also acted one of the parts for an acting class in college. The idea of the book is that each poem is what one of the dead persons in Spoon River's graveyard might say if they were able to talk. It's heavy on irony, but there's a good amount of wry humor, too.

So, to balance the sentiment of the Bob Marley quote on my sidebar, you might find the theme of the following poem from Spoon River useful.

Oaks Tutt

My mother was for womanÂ’s rights
And my father was the rich miller at London Mills.
I dreamed of the wrongs of the world and wanted to right them.
When my father died, I set out to see peoples and countries
In order to learn how to reform the world.
I traveled through many lands.
I saw the ruins of Rome,
And the ruins of Athens,
And the ruins of Thebes.
And I sat by moonlight amid the necropolis of Memphis.
There I was caught up by wings of flame,
And a voice from heaven said to me:
“Injustice, Untruth destroyed them. Go forth!
Preach Justice! Preach Truth!”
And I hastened back to Spoon River
To say farewell to my mother before beginning my work.
They all saw a strange light in my eye.
And by and by, when I talked, they discovered
What had come in my mind.
Then Jonathan Swift Somers challenged me to debate
The subject, (I taking the negative):
“Pontius Pilate, the Greatest Philosopher of the World.”
And he won the debate by saying at last,
“Before you reform the world, Mr. Tutt,
Please answer the question of Pontius Pilate:
‘What is Truth?’”

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i'm back up north again. Mom is doing great. She's tired but the doctors say if she changes her diet and takes her medication she should be okay. She's never had any heart problems before, that was always Dad's thing, so this was a shock to us all. Anyways, i just got into town and i'm going to have a few beers and go to sleep early. It's terribly hot tonight. This post is intended as a buffer since the last post was such a downer and it's been up all weekend and i just want to put the whole thing behind me right now. It was a very trying weekend, with lots of family shit to sort out, but that's another story.

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My mom is ill, i am leaving for L.A. to go see her right now. Any kind thoughts sent up above on her behalf would be very much appreciated. Thanks.

Update: My mom is doing okay. She had a heart attack, which they tell me was minor. She underwent angioplasty with the balloon and they are going to keep her under observation for a few days. Thankfully, she didn't need surgery, which was my great fear. i already went through that twice with my dad.

It was scary for me because i drove six hours to get down to L.A. from Sacramento and i was pretty much in the dark until i got here. But i was so relieved to find her well and in good spirits when i arrived. Thank you to everyone who kept her in your thoughts and prayers. i know it helped.

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1 My thoughts and prayers will be with your family.

Posted by: ginger at July 09, 2004 01:50 PM (BgaW7)

2 Annika, My prayers are for your mother - may she get well soon.

Posted by: OS at July 09, 2004 03:06 PM (aPNMH)

3 As the Koreans say: Bballi gon-gahng hashigi-baram-nida! I hope for her quick recovery! Kevin

Posted by: Kevin Kim at July 09, 2004 03:20 PM (8c4Q2)

4 As my pentecostal friends say, "I'm lifting her up before the throne". God bless you, your mom, and your family.

Posted by: Hugo at July 09, 2004 03:43 PM (ntfdi)

5 I hope she gets well soon, annie.

Posted by: d-rod at July 09, 2004 04:14 PM (8AosN)

6 Your mum is in my thoughts, as are you for a safe journey.

Posted by: The Maximum Leader at July 09, 2004 05:06 PM (0PRJS)

7 I just did, and will again.

Posted by: Rodger Schultz at July 09, 2004 05:47 PM (dBjTm)

8 Oh, Annika, God bless you and your mom. We'll say a prayer!

Posted by: Brent at July 09, 2004 06:20 PM (w+y2e)

9 I hope your mom gets better soon.

Posted by: Karol at July 09, 2004 08:18 PM (f/hiR)

10 To Annika's mom: best wishes and get well soon!

Posted by: Chris at July 09, 2004 09:43 PM (MQo8N)

11 Annika: Sometimes these events can serve as warnings and allow us to change our lifestyles, thus they turn out to be blessings in disguise. I pray that is one of those times, and that whatever stresses may have brought this on will be lessened by your mother knowing that she is loved and valued by her family and friends. My thouughts and prayers are with you and her.

Posted by: shelly s. at July 10, 2004 02:59 AM (AaBEz)

12 We're sending good thoughts and wishes to your family!

Posted by: Ted at July 10, 2004 08:38 AM (ZjSa7)

13 I'm glad your mom didn't have to have surgery. I know how scary it is when a mom is sick. Thanks for letting us know she's doing okay!

Posted by: Shae at July 10, 2004 05:34 PM (jXzqo)

14 I'm so relieved to hear the update! Give some hugs from us to you and your mom!

Posted by: Brent at July 10, 2004 08:31 PM (w+y2e)

15 I'll Keep praying for your mom.

Posted by: Chuck at July 11, 2004 11:01 PM (s6c4t)

16 I'm glad to hear she's doing well--We're still thinking good thoughts for your mom.

Posted by: Victor at July 12, 2004 07:06 AM (L3qPK)

17 What no heart cath? Angio's are old tech

Posted by: Aunt Myrtle at July 12, 2004 09:13 AM (S9P+3)

18 Certainly glad to hear things are improving, nothin beats family.

Posted by: Scof at July 12, 2004 10:12 AM (XCqS+)

19 glad to hear your mom is ok..best wishes for a speedy recovery!!

Posted by: jimi at July 12, 2004 10:56 AM (zE10C)

20 Best wishes to your mom for a speedy and full recovery. And best wishes to you for comfort during this stressful time. Hang in there!

Posted by: Todd at July 12, 2004 01:16 PM (OPYfK)

21 Glad to hear that your mom is doing okay and that she is in good spirits!! You and yours will be in my thoughts and prayers.

Posted by: Amy at July 12, 2004 01:41 PM (RpVKX)

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Drudge has a photo montage of the two Johns groping and cuddling each other at every photo opportunity.

Now i'm not offended by two men being physically affectionate with each other (not even two political candidates who until two days ago were rumored to have disliked each other intensely). It's just that this Democratic touchy-feely shit is such an obvious attempt to pander to us female voters. Yah, i'm sure the polls and focus groups say we're supposed to respond more favorably to men who hug each other. Maybe we do in a general sense, i don't know. But i do know that in the midst of a war, in which our enemy has made no secret that they want us all dead, and that they are not interested in negotiating on that point, and that they'll stop at nothing to kill us all, and as violently as possible . . . well let's just say i'd rather have a couple of men who shake hands leading our side in that situation.

Drudge link via Blogeline.

Exclusive annie's j Update!: Yoko Ono has recorded a perfect campaign theme song for the two Johns!

Exclusive annie's j Update 2!: OMG, i think this Kerry-Edwards love fest is getting totally out of hand!

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Until today i thought that there was no point in talking about Michel Moore any longer. i thought he had been fisked up the wazoo by now, and that no one who follows the alternative media need bring up his name again.

However, then i read the Lileks piece. i'm sure today's Bleat has been linked ad infinitum and with good reason. Let my linking to it here be a signal that i wish to add my voice to the countless others who say: "Bravo James Lileks, Bravo yet again."

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i just saw the biggest, scariest looking dragonfly i've ever seen, out on the sidewalk in front of this office building. It must have been six inches long.

They're not dangerous are they?

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Please remember that tomorrow is Frank J's blogversary and International Link to IMAO Day. i plan to post a gratuitous link in commemoration of the event, and in thanksgiving for the very existence of so great a blog hero, and also in the hope that Frank might update my link on his crazy blue blogroll to my new mu.nu address.

Apologetic Update: i didn't participate in International Link To IMAO Day, but that was due to the family emergency. Sorry Frank.

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i found this quiz at baldilocks. It's called: "20 Questions to a Better Personality." Well, i answered all twenty questions, but i don't feel any different. That's false advertising.

Here are my results; i didn't cheat; i think it's bullshit; so interpret them as you may:

Wackiness: 56/100
Rationality: 58/100
Constructiveness: 32/100
Leadership: 44/100

You are a WRDF--Wacky Rational Destructive Follower. This makes you a hacker. Your thirst for knowledge can be damaging to your possessions--you like to take things apart, even if you then forget to put them back together. You demand respect and, no matter how much you are respected, seldom feel it is adequate. You are tenacious, and will stick to a task long after weaker minds have given it up.

Socially, you are awkward, and get into arguments and make people uncomfortable. One recommends counting to ten, holding back comments unless warranted, and listening more than speaking. Still, your no-holds-barred approach to socialization can be strangely endearing, as long as you are funny and self-deprecating.

You feel misunderstood, and you probably are.

Update: This same quiz proclaims that the BigHominid is "completely unfunny." Now i know it's bullshit.

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1 I can't take those quizzes. I always find out that I'm a blithering idiot!

Posted by: Brent at July 07, 2004 06:25 PM (w+y2e)

2 Well I took the Quiz also, and I got Wackiness: 34/100 Rationality: 72/100 Constructiveness: 26/100 Leadership: 64/100 You are an SRDL--Sober Rational Destructive Leader. This makes you a mob boss. You are the ultimate alpha person and even your friends give you your space. You can't stand whiners, weaklings, schlemiels or schlemozzles. You don't make many jokes, but when you do, others laugh out loud. They must. People often turn to you for advice, and wisely. You are calm in a crisis, cautious in a tempest, and attuned to even the finest details. Yours is the profile of a smart head for business and a dangerous enemy. You have a natural knack for fashion and occupy a suit like a matinee idol. Your charisma is striking and without artifice. You are generous, thoughtful, and appreciate life's finer things. Please don't kick my ass. Alpha? Me?

Posted by: Chuck at July 07, 2004 08:01 PM (s6c4t)

3 I took the quiz and I too, am a hacker. What doesn't seem to fit me though, is the "socially awkward, getting into arguments and making people feel uncomfortable" part. I can't stand arguing and therefore will do my best to prevent that. Weird.

Posted by: Amy at July 08, 2004 07:06 AM (RpVKX)

4 Same here, Amy.

Posted by: annika! at July 08, 2004 08:55 AM (zAOEU)

5 Oh dear, I don't like this at ALL: Wackiness: 16/100 Rationality: 40/100 Constructiveness: 44/100 Leadership: 34/100 You are an SEDF--Sober Emotional Destructive Follower. This makes you an evil genius. You are extremely focused and difficult to distract from your tasks. With luck, you have learned to channel your energies into improving your intellect, rather than destroying the weak and unsuspecting. Your friends may find you remote and a hard nut to crack. Few of your peers know you very well--even those you have known a long time--because you have expert control of the face you put forth to the world. You prefer to observe, calculate, discern and decide. Your decisions are final, and your desire to be right is impenetrable. You are not to be messed with. You may explode Help!

Posted by: Hugo at July 08, 2004 09:06 AM (LQVcV)

6 ". . . destroying the weak and unsuspecting . . . Your decisions are final, and your desire to be right is impenetrable." Sheesh Hugo, i feel sorry for your students! LOL, just kidding babe.

Posted by: annika at July 08, 2004 09:21 AM (zAOEU)

7 Hmmmmm...I suppose I can see it, even though I can't stand the guy: Wackiness: 56/100 Rationality: 60/100 Constructiveness: 62/100 Leadership: 34/100 You are a WRCF--Wacky Rational Constructive Follower. This makes you Paul Begala. You are unflappable and largely unconcerned with others' reactions to you. You were not particularly interested in the results of this test, and probably took it only as a result of someone else asking you to. You have a biting wit and intense powers of observation. No detail is lost on you, and your friends know it--relying on you to have the facts when others express only opinions. You are even-tempered, friendly, and educated. Foolish strangers may mistake your mildness for weakness--they will be surprised. You entire approach to life is enviable. You will raise good kids.

Posted by: Dave J at July 08, 2004 10:49 AM (VThvo)

8 I, apparently, rock. You are a SECL--Sober Emotional Constructive Leader. This makes you a Politician. You cut deals, you change minds, you make things happen. You would prefer to be liked than respected, but generally people react to you with both. You are very sensitive to criticism, since your entire business is making people happy. At times your commitment to the happiness of other people can cut into the happiness of you and your loved ones. This is very demanding on those close to you, who may feel neglected. Slowly, you will learn to set your own agenda--including time to yourself. You are gregarious, friendly, charming and charismatic. You like animals, sports, and beautiful cars. You wear understated gold jewelry and have secret bad habits, like chewing your fingers and fidgeting. You are very difficult to dislike.

Posted by: tiff_grrl at December 27, 2004 08:49 PM (oPCr5)

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Question one: Take a far left agenda, combine it with a generous amount of blind hubris, and remove all traces of ethical responsibility and what do you have? Answer: The Los Angeles Times under its current führer, John Carroll.

Question two: Are the numerous factual errors in the Times' news reportage innocent or are they indicative of a feverish propaganda effort? According to Slate:

On July 4, an LAT front page piece reported that our civilian administrator for Iraq, Paul Bremer

left without even giving a final speech to the country — almost as if he were afraid to look in the eye the people he had ruled for more than a year

when in fact Bremer did give a farewell speech, which was well-received by at least some Iraqis. [links omitted]

To the propagandists at the L.A. Times, the ends always justify the means. For example: Print lies about candidate Schwarzenneger on the eve of the election, while ignoring credible claims that Davis physically assaulted his female staffers? No problem. What do ethics matter when the goal is to stop the evil Republicans?

Just watch the L.A. Times as we get closer to the November election. We ain't seen nothing yet.

Slate link via Professor Hewitt.

Update: As reported at Powerline, The Times has offered a correction, but not an apology. i think an apology is in order when a major newspaper makes a false statement in a news story (as opposed to an op-ed) and then levels a cheap shot based on that false statement. It's not enough to simply retract the false statement and leave the cheap shot out there. But that's The Times, and that's why i wouldn't even read their sports page when i lived in L.A.

For more articulate L.A. Times bashing than i am able to muster, go on over to Patterico's Pontifications.

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Inspired by Ginger and Candace's recent post about their fabulous meeting in the city of New York, i decided to select a poem from my favorite New York poet, Frank O'Hara.

The following is one of O'Hara's best known poems, and it deserves to be. Reading it, one can imagine what it must have been like to be young and hip in the city back in 1959.

"Lady," by the way, is the great jazz singer Billie Holiday, who died on July 17, 1959 at New York's Metropolitan Hospital.

The Day Lady Died

It is 12:20 in New York a Friday
three days after Bastille day, yes
it is 1959 and I go get a shoeshine
because I will get off the 4:19 in Easthampton
at 7:15 and then go straight to dinner
and I don't know the people who will feed me

I walk up the muggy street beginning to sun
and have a hamburger and a malted and buy
an ugly NEW WORLD WRITING to see what the poets
in Ghana are doing these days
                                        I go on to the bank
and Miss Stillwagon (first name Linda I once heard)
doesn't even look up my balance for once in her life
and in the GOLDEN GRIFFIN I get a little Verlaine
for Patsy with drawings by Bonnard although I do
think of Hesiod, trans. Richmond Lattimore or
Brendan Behan's new play or Le Balcon or Les Nègres
of Genet, but I don't, I stick with Verlaine
after practically going to sleep with quandariness

and for Mike I just stroll into the PARK LANE
Liquor Store and ask for a bottle of Strega and
then I go back where I came from to 6th Avenue
and the tobacconist in the Ziegfeld Theatre and
casually ask for a carton of Gauloises and a carton
of Picayunes, and a NEW YORK POST with her face on it

and I am sweating a lot by now and thinking of
leaning on the john door in the 5 SPOT
while she whispered a song along the keyboard
to Mal Waldron and everyone and I stopped breathing

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i may not be an expert on politics - just see my last post wherein i predicted that Gephardt would be Kerry's choice for VP - but if my dating experience is any indication, i am definitely an expert on picking the wrong guy.

So i can say with confidence that John Edwards has all the qualities of the wrong guy. He's good looking and charming, two qualities that always beguile a girl like me, and make it difficult not to overlook the downside.

In Kerry's case, he's gone strictly by the poll numbers in making this choice. But like i said in my last post, we run our elections according to the electoral college, not popular vote. Kerry would have been better served by a guy who could at least deliver one battleground state as a native son. Since Edwards can't do that in an election that might come down to one or two states, Kerry picked the wrong guy.

On the other hand, when i heard the news this morning i realized one strategic advantage that Edwards brings to the ticket. An advantage that i overlooked when i wrote yesterday's post. While he will probably not enable the Democrats to win any southern states, he does force the Republicans to spend more money in the South than they might have if Kerry had chosen a midwesterner. That's money that the GOP won't be able to spend in a battleground state. And elections are really all about money, aren't they?

Still, i like Bush and Cheney's chances against these two boobs. Everbody's making a big deal about how Edwards is going to be able to stand up to Cheney in the VP debate. But really, that's nonsense. There's only going to be one VP debate, and when has it ever had an impact on any election? Never. Remember the 1988 Bentsen/Quayle debate? If there was ever a time when one VP candidate trounced the other candidate, 1988 was it. Bush the Elder still won because the Democrat at the top of the ticket was the only candidate that mattered. Besides, Cheney is no Quayle. If anything, the roles will be reversed this time around.

One final thought on Edwards, which i have to say in his defense. i've been hearing a lot of criticism against him based simply on the fact that he was a trial lawyer. The term "trial lawyer" is a somewhat imprecise term. i assume people mean plaintiff's lawyer, since many lawyers who do trials are not plaintiff's lawyers. i don't suppose you'd hear that kind of criticism leveled against someone like former U.S. Attorney Rudolph Giuliani for example, who was also a trial lawyer and a good one too. Not all trial lawyers are ambulance chasers.

Which brings me to my point. John Edwards was no ambulance chaser. Yes, he was a plaintiff's attorney, but from what i know of his career, he was the top guy in his field. Lawyers like him do not chase ambulances, or make money off of minor fender benders or spilled coffee. Edwards represented legitimate plaintiffs with serious injuries who deserved compensation by any standard of justice. And like another famous trial attorney turned politician, Edwards became the pre-eminent plaintiff's lawyer in his state because he was very very good. And that's worth something in my book.

So i don't agree with people who say Senator Edwards is the wrong guy just because he's a plaintiff's lawyer. i say he's the wrong guy because he's a Democrat.

Posted by: annika at 11:00 AM | Comments (10) | Add Comment
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i would certainly be negligent if i did not wish our President a happy birthday! So:

HAPPY BIRTHDAY PRESIDENT BUSH!

You never know, there is always the remote possibility that the chief executive visits my humble blog on occasion.

Thanks to Sarah for the reminder.

Posted by: annika at 10:54 AM | No Comments | Add Comment
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Since my predictions during last year's football season were so amazing, i imagine that lots of my visitors are clamoring for my opinion regarding Kerry's as yet un-named running mate.

The short list includes Iowa Governor Tom Vilsack, North Carolina Senator John Edwards, former president Hillery Clinton of course, and Missouri Representative Richard Gephardt.

i don't know who Vilsack is and i suspect that since i never heard of him, he must be a loser. Kerry is also a loser, so it naturally follows that Vilsack would be on the list. But he is not the pick.

John Edwards is cute, friendly, not a raving maniacal Bush hater (although he is a passable Bush dis-liker) and polls well with women. He might help the Democratic ticket if the election were based on a straight popular vote. But since we elect presidents based on the electoral college, Kerry must pick someone who will help deliver battleground states. Edwards might not even deliver South Carolina. Kerry would have to be an idiot to pick Edwards, which is why he's on the short list, since Kerry is an idiot.

Hillery will not be on the ticket because she is too divisive. She'd love to be the vice presidential candidate because, even if she loses, her stature rises in preparation for a run in 2008. There are many who love her, but right now, there are just as many who despise and fear her. After a few months as vice presidential candidate, people may get used to the idea of her as president again and her negatives may decline. Still, Kerry will not have her, because of his ego. He wants to run things, and to do so he can't have Hillery on his back.

But i think the man who makes perfect sense is Dick Gephardt. First of all he's paid his dues, it's his turn. He's viewed as more moderate than Kerry, so he's not too scary and will appeal to more than just the Dean crazies. Also, since the unions got Kerry by the balls, and Gephardt is their man, Kerry may not have a choice. He might have been given an offer he couldn't refuse, if you know what i mean. If Kerry delivers for the unions, they will deliver for him. And lastly, Gephardt has appeal in the battleground states of the midwest which, combined with his national recognizability, combines the best of Edwards and the best of Vilsack.

Put your money on Dick Gephardt.

Posted by: annika at 10:21 AM | Comments (7) | Add Comment
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i just saw Yankee Doodle Dandy on AMC. Fantastic movie. One thing still puzzles me though, which was never explained in the film.

Why on earth would Yankee Doodle go to London just to ride a pony?

Posted by: annika at 07:59 PM | Comments (4) | Add Comment
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