just trying to eat my waffles

March 20, 2004

i Was Hoping For Iron Man, But...

Holy Prime Directive, you're Robocop!

Well, you're neither colossal, nor technically a robot, but your arthritic lurching and dubious morals have found their way into the hearts of futuristic rebels and children everywhere. You walk through fire, catch bullets from the air, and you never, ever smile. Combine this with an abstract, almost random concept of duty and honour, and you have a police officer one cannot fail to adore.

Thank you, Robocop.

Got this one offa Uncle Screwtape knows best.

More: This quiz is actually very thought provoking. i started wondering: what are the qualities i would look for in an ideal colossal death robot. i think they would be the following:

benevolence;

indestructibility;

gigantic size;

loyalty;

a silvery exterior.

You'll notice that i didn't include intelligence on the list. Intelligence is for androids. I think benevolence is the most important quality for a colossal death robot. i mean, what good is a colossal death robot if it's just going to go around killing the wrong people and destroying things that you need? Loyalty is also very important. That was Iron Man's flaw. Although he was benevolent at one time, he became a big problem when he decided to "kill the people he once saved." A silvery exterior is also important, aesthetically. i know some people like gold robots, but really, how intimidating was C3P0? Silver is the best color for a colossal death robot, in my opinion.

Posted by: annika at 09:56 AM | Comments (6) | Add Comment
Post contains 257 words, total size 2 kb.

1 Hey, I'm Robocop, too!

Posted by: Matt Rustler at March 20, 2004 03:24 PM (of2d1)

2 Um, OK, so Bender from Futurama is more of a robot than Robocop, but has far less going for him in the "collosal" and "death" departments. But, in fairness, Iguess I can accept that it probably fits. I'm not quite still hungover from last night, but I'm not exactly feeling great either...

Posted by: Dave J at March 20, 2004 03:39 PM (+MjkF)

3 Colossal Death Robots would make excellent high school mascots! Ain't no mortal Lion or Eagle gonna take down a Colossal Death Robot! The superpowers would be inspirational, and would work well in cheerleader chants and posters. There would be no danger of offending any human groups, such as "Guatemalans." There could be trouble from wimp-ass "Anti-Violence" people-- but the positives outweigh the negatives-- and I feel this could be overcome. Unless another school adopts a mascot that can target our official Robot weakness-- our Kryptonite, as it were-- we are home free in the mascot fight, as we will kill any regular mascot in poster combat! Robot superpowers rule!

Posted by: gcotharn in Texas at March 20, 2004 09:15 PM (rZmE1)

4 I am soooo Optimus Prime.

Posted by: Kin at March 21, 2004 12:38 AM (ZQldT)

5 Um, OK, so Bender from Futurama is more of a robot than Robocop, but has far less going for him in the "collosal" and "death" departments. But what if he was 500 ft. tall? "I came here with a simple dream. A dream of killing all humans. And this is how it must end? Who's the real 7 billion ton robot monster here? Not I, not I..."

Posted by: D at March 21, 2004 01:36 AM (n3IaT)

6 As always, your insightful commentary is what keeps me coming back to your site....