Desperate Housewives has become a cultural phenomenon of sorts. So i decided to enlist frequent commenter Casca to help me goof on analyze last Sunday's episode via IM, since we're both in the same time zone. What follows are the results of that analysis: annikagyrl: hey Casca
annikagyrl: i got a twelve pack
Casca: I've got a keg
annikagyrl: haah no u don't
Casca: u got a 12, and I got a keg
annikagyrl: yap
Casca: yap?
annikagyrl: heh
Casca: lmao
Casca: perhaps we should do this sober

[The show begins.]

Casca: I hate the narrator on this
Casca: jesus
Casca: nice house, and they didn't even have to swallow to get it
Casca: something's not right about that
Casca: but I do love women in pink
annikagyrl: you know Nicolette Sheridan was the sure thing from the movie of the same name?
Casca: I'm sorry, I don't
Casca: but she looks like a sure thing
annikagyrl: youÂ’re a pig

[The opening narration continues...]

annikagyrl: nice chanel scarf
annikagyrl: i wouldn't be caught dead in something like that
annikagyrl: unless i became a realtor
Casca: lol
annikagyrl: i think all realtors are required to dress like that
Casca: indeed
Casca: well, there is a point in a woman's life where clothing becomes camouflage
annikagyrl: luv the opening with all the art
annikagyrl: who did that painting with the pregnant dutch lady?
Casca: where?
Casca: sorry, was grasping my cocktail
annikagyrl: grasping?
Casca: notice I added -tail
annikagyrl: too much info, dude
Casca: lmao
annikagyrl: i need to grab a longneck, myself
Casca: take pictures
annikagyrl: lol, beer that is...

[commercial interruption]

annikagyrl: okay, back to wisteria lane
annikagyrl: i like teri hatcher in this
Casca: me too, I hear she's horny
annikagyrl: yes, i posted bout that
Casca: ooooooooo sacral dimples
annikagyrl: i bet you like that hussy on the right,
Casca: I like all the hussys, I do not discriminate
annikagyrl: the hot one who's fucking the high school kid
Casca: it's just not right
Casca: I say give her a tax credit

. . .

annikagyrl: you remember the redhead chick from melrose place?
Casca: I've never watched MP
annikagyrl: that woman's husband had a heart attack while in the throes of s&m bondage...
Casca: now THAT is the way to go
annikagyrl: with another woman, and then while in the hospital, his wife told him she was leaving him
Casca: lol, women tend to be the unforgiving sex
annikagyrl: yes we are
Casca: lol
annikagyrl: and i don't forgive you for saying that

. . .

annikagyrl: Did teri hatcher finally get rid of the mole on the side of her nose?
annikagyrl: it was very unsightly, i think she had it removed, cuz i don't see it
Casca: I think mole removal should be an entitlement
annikagyrl: haha

[LynetteÂ’s husband goes downstairs late at night and finds the nanny sans clothes]

annikagyrl: naked chick alert
Casca: what did I miss?
annikagyrl: hahahah
Casca: kewl
annikagyrl: the husband's all “yah that'd be great!”

[Then the husband, all horny from the encounter, starts gettinÂ’ it on with his wife]

Casca: don't u love that about guys?
Casca: flaash us a tit, and we're ready to get it on
annikagyrl: he had to fantasize about the chickie because the wife is pretty haggard

[Cut to commercial]

annikagyrl: okay, itÂ’s the ortho tricyclen commercial, how appropriate
Casca: THERE SHE GOES
annikagyrl: notice that there are no men in this commercial?
Casca: see our add in Glamour...
Casca: lmao
annikagyrl: because birth control is a gyrl thing
Casca: or visit www.thepill.com

[Now back to the Bree storyline, as she needles her cheating hubbie yet again]

Casca: I'm liking her
annikagyrl: ooo she's good
Casca: I believe in forgiveness
annikagyrl: he was a jerk in previous episodes tho
Casca: lol
annikagyrl: “please don't mistake my anal retentiveness for actual affection,” now that’s a good line
Casca: I'd have to know what actual affection was first

. . .

annikagyrl: yes, they definitely removed teri hatcherÂ’s mole
annikagyrl: you know hatcherÂ’s forty?
Casca: heh, women can be fab at forty
Casca: but by the time they reach fifty
Casca: it's katy bar the door
annikagyrl: doh!

[More commercials]

annikagyrl: Lost sucks
Casca: agreed
annikagyrl: they need a gilligan character
Casca: can't get into it at all
annikagyrl: a skipper too
Casca: it's so fucking ridiculous
annikagyrl: a millionaire
Casca: strains credulity
annikagyrl: and his wife
Casca: LOL, couldn't hurt
annikagyrl: the professor and
Casca: don't forget Maryann
annikagyrl: here on gilligan's isle
annikagyrl: okay DH is back on

[Gabrielle takes a job as a car spokesmodel in a mall]

annikagyrl: hah ha
annikagyrl: car show girl
Casca: what's wrong with that?
Casca: sometimes u have to wash dishes

[She gets her dress caught in the car display]

annikagyrl: this is low farce
Casca: si

[Bree goes on a date with her pharmacist]

Casca: wuhoh
annikagyrl: oh, no, dating the farmacist
Casca: OMG
Casca: look at RED
annikagyrl: oo the lady in red
Casca: "French the Hell out of him"
annikagyrl: with her hair up like that you almost donÂ’t notice her cheekbones
annikagyrl: i like her
Casca: I do too

[The pharmacist arrives at BreeÂ’s house and meets her husband]

annikagyrl: “Please, you're dating my wife, call me Rex!”
annikagyrl: hahahaha
Casca: wuhoh
annikagyrl: oh now that's uncomfortable
annikagyrl: not only is he dating the guyÂ’s wife, but he's only a pharmacist and the husband's a doctor
Casca: eh, I'd take a pill pusher over a doc any day
Casca: a girl like that deserves and incredible orgasm
Casca: on a regular basis
annikagyrl: you're talking about me, right?

[Lynette continues to obsess over the effect the nanny had on her husbandÂ’s horniness]

annikagyrl: i love that line too: “you kiss me as if it would end the conversation, and it sooo won't...”
Casca: LOL
Casca: she's right
Casca: but it's not because the nannyÂ’s more fertile
Casca: it's because sheÂ’s hot
Casca: LMAO
annikagyrl: yah
Casca: she has beat him to his knees

[The end of BreeÂ’s date with the pharmacist, inside his car]

Casca: he shoulda taken her back to his place
annikagyrl: that pharmacist is a good sport isn't he?
Casca: he's a pawn
Casca: it's sad
annikagyrl: now the pharmo is real pissed, all that trouble and she announces that she's not gonna have sex?
Casca: awww, that hurt
annikagyrl: he's all "what the fuhh..."
Casca: alas, I fear not "pissed", but definitely "used"

[Now Edie singing karaoke style]

annikagyrl: oh Nicolette's an awful singer
annikagyrl: wtf, i'm missing 24 for this?
Casca: that's why Gawd made booze...
Casca: for her singing
Casca: sure
annikagyrl: on the way home from church today, i was singing “what kind of fool am i” along with sammy on the radio,
annikagyrl: i was awesome, if i must say so
Casca: sammy was a wonderful fellow

[Now, Susan gets up to sing “New York, New York,” sort of...]

annikagyrl: her voice ainÂ’t too bad
Casca: if u want to sing Sinatra
Casca: ya gotta be him
annikagyrl: thatÂ’s a great song to sing
Casca: omg
annikagyrl: doh!
Casca: lmao
annikagyrl: get into it babe!
Casca: si
annikagyrl: hahahaha
annikagyrl: lmao
annikagyrl: hahahahaha
annikagyrl: noooow yoooork!!
annikagyrl: that was great!
Casca: oh gawd

[Basically, that was the highlight of the episode.]

[More commercials]

annikagyrl: damn boston legal is like the recycling bin for actors
Casca: awwww, I like it
Casca: better than THIS schlock
annikagyrl: when is henry winkler going to join the cast?
annikagyrl: or mark hamill?
Casca: Ouch

[Now a strange scene with Lynette in the kitchen watching the nanny work]

annikagyrl: i see a threesome with the nanny in the next episode
Casca: hard
Casca: 2
Casca: say
annikagyrl: yep, what did i tell you?
annikagyrl: she's checking out the babysitterÂ’s tits
Casca: who isn't
Casca: heh

[Now SusanÂ’s ex starts coming on to her, he wants to get back together]

annikagyrl: time to pop another beer
annikagyrl: nice sweater around the neck look, dork
Casca: u know
Casca: most people do sex with the ex
annikagyrl: don't do it teri!
Casca: of course
Casca: lol
annikagyrl: u mean sex on ex? or sex with the ex?
Casca: sex with the ex
Casca: and most of them do it
Casca: notwithstanding this fiction

[Final moments and the teaser for next weekÂ’s episode]

annikagyrl: hahahahaha
annikagyrl: teri hatcherÂ’s boyfriend has some nefarious past too
Casca: eh
annikagyrl: see every episode has a theme, and the narrator acts as a greek chorus, tying all the various storylines together
Casca: this is a tedious soap opera
annikagyrl: ohhhhh and the HAND appears!
Casca: if you were going to get rid of a body, wouldn't you do it where it wouldn't be found?
annikagyrl: like the Berkeley marina?

[End credits]

annikagyrl: fuck, i want that hour of my life BACK!
annikagyrl: lol
Casca: agreed

Posted by: annika at 01:31 AM | Comments (4) | Add Comment
Post contains 1315 words, total size 16 kb.