February 07, 2007

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CRAZY ASTRONAUT RELEASED ON BAIL... DUHH?!

The judge released the Astronut chick on bail because he didn't consider her a flight risk! In what universe is she not a flight risk?!?! Hellooooo!?!? She's a pilot. She can fly! By definition that makes her a flight risk.

And not only that, she's an astronaut. What's to stop her from getting into her spaceship and flying off to another planet tomorrow? Then the only way we could catch her is by sending a team of astronauts after her. And I doubt we have many astronauts trained in law enforcement.

This is a bad situation just waiting to happen. What if, for instance, she escapes to the moon? Would the cops/astronauts have jurisdiction there? Maybe at Tranquility Base, since that's U.S. territory. But what if she hides out in some other crater with a jug of water, some Tang and a box of Depends? We might never find her. I don't think her GPS bracelet is going to be much help on the moon.

Or what if she made it all the way to Mars? I'm sure there's no extradition treaty with the Martians, and they hate us anyway. Oh those Martians would jump at the chance to grant asylum for an ex-astronaut simply to embarrass us, like the French do with Roman Polanski. Those Martians think they're so superior, just because their orbit is bigger than ours.

Posted by: annika at 08:53 AM | Comments (23) | Add Comment
Post contains 243 words, total size 2 kb.

1 Another Boat School grad does us proud. Let's review: (1) Jimmy Fuckin' Carter. Nuff sed. (2) John "What First Amendment?" McCain. (3) Lisa "Crazy Bitch" Nowak. Fan-freakin'-tastic. On the plus side of the ledger, at least Bobby Heinlein was one of ours.

Posted by: Matt at February 07, 2007 09:20 AM (10G2T)

2 the moon is a harsh mistress indeed

Posted by: annika at February 07, 2007 09:28 AM (JBltT)

3 and are there any astronauts who would want to go near her to capture her? they might all be a little frightened. i would ask for hazard pay.

Posted by: sarahk at February 07, 2007 09:33 AM (DJfGe)

4 She's an "astronut."

Posted by: Mark at February 07, 2007 10:04 AM (2MrBP)

5 Thanks Mark. Matt, you forgot Jim Webb. I bet we could come up with at least a couple hundred before the end of the day. The Naval Academy is fucked up. West Point on the other hand tends to produce uniformly good leaders.

Posted by: Casca at February 07, 2007 10:35 AM (Y7t14)

6 Dunno 'bout West Point. Custer, for instance. And on the plus side for the squids, I'd like to add Adm. Fluckey. Betcha if a statistical analysis was done, the flake/hero ratio would be about the same.

Posted by: Victor at February 07, 2007 11:19 AM (1oGDT)

7 sorry Casca, can't concur with you on the Point. two words: Wes Clark "ring knockers" bleh. give me a 2ndLT from Texas A&M or another state school any day...

Posted by: jcrue at February 07, 2007 11:23 AM (ZDQoM)

8 Girl, you just ain't right

Posted by: Swamp Rabbit at February 07, 2007 12:49 PM (chQH7)

9 Not really buying that either, Casca. I've known a few woops in my day. They're about the same. Get past all the PR bullshit and the service academies aren't really much different. (Nor are A&M, VMI, the Citadel or Virginia Tech immune from the problem. My battery commander -- the one who got sent to be the 2nd MarDiv urinalysis coordinator after we returned from a float that he royally fucked up -- was an A&M grad. What an idiot.) The Point has produced its share of freaks, too. MacArthur, just to name one. (A history prof of mine had spent a lot of time studying MacArthur and interviewing people who knew him well -- family members, former aides, etc. The guy really was a freak.)

Posted by: Matt at February 07, 2007 12:51 PM (10G2T)

10 She likes the moon! I hope they keep her away from any dirigibles or zeppelins. Or lightbulbs.

Posted by: The Law Fairy at February 07, 2007 01:50 PM (XUsiG)

11 Jeez, I'm talking about recent history, not sixty years ago, and one bad apple don't spoil the whole bunch. Peacetime generals are the product of politics. Take it for what it's worth. There are most definitely differences between the academies. For producing combat leaders, give me a West Pointer or VMI grad. That's not to depricate the product of state schools, but everyone knows that the aggies are famous fuckups, too much bullshit between their ears. I base my observations on direct personal contact. I spent a month as a peer at Ft Benning with 100 USMA cadets, and six months with the cream of the USNA at basic school, along with a dozen USAFA grads. I know these guys pretty well. My early impressions were only reinforced by the contact I had during my career. The Navy and Air Force acadamies should be closed. They're social clubs that foster their own particularly perverse cultures. I would never trust a boat schooler, on the other hand a USMA grad's word tends to be good.

Posted by: Casca at February 07, 2007 04:30 PM (2gORp)

12 This incident precludes women from being sent into space ever again. The cosmic radiation in space affects their brains and turns them into sex maniacs. No telling what would happen if all the women in space became sex maniacs. OH..........never mind

Posted by: Jake at February 07, 2007 04:52 PM (V6rxT)

13 LawFairy, I totally forgot how much I loved those guys!

Posted by: annika at February 07, 2007 09:19 PM (JBltT)

14 Annie, how'd you do in Crim Law? As a guy who set a lot of bails (Including Patty Hearst, The Griffith Park Sniper, etc.) you have to know that bail is not to hold someone because you think they are going to do something horrible. It is to ASSURE RETURN to face the charges. The thing is, she isn't going anywhere. She's got three kids, a house and an ankle bracelet that they can track her with. If she takes it off, it beeps and they are on her. They beep her and she has to call them back right away or they know it's off and they swoop in. And be sure, they are tracking her with survelliance on a 24/7 basis, maybe with the cooperation of her shipmates. No way to hold her the way the prosecuters wanted; they just wanted to have her in so they could keep building their case with her. It is that need to win them all that pervades every prosecutor's office in the world. Except Aruba.

Posted by: shelly at February 08, 2007 04:33 AM (SLFj+)

15 Enjoyed Casca's Osmond Brothers reference, even if it was unintentional. Pro for West Point - Ulysses S. Grant. Anti for West Point - Ulysses S. Grant. The good thing about...um...EXTREMELY MOTIVATED people such as Lisa Marie Nowak (why is the news dropping the "Marie"?) is that they're only motivated to do one thing. At least until she starts sending love letters to Brit Hume.

Posted by: Ontario Emperor at February 08, 2007 10:13 AM (YWsCw)

16 hey, I got dibs on Brit

Posted by: annika at February 08, 2007 10:16 AM (zAOEU)

17 Let's see, didn't Ollie go to Boat U?

Posted by: shelly at February 08, 2007 12:05 PM (SLFj+)

18 I base my observations on close personal contact, too, being that I'm a Canoe U grad and spent five months at Ft. Sill, plus six at TBS (and four years living with various exchange cadets). But of course my observations are no more unbiased than yours.

Posted by: Matt at February 08, 2007 02:49 PM (10G2T)

19 Now your shit is in the street. I'm from a different generation. They weren't coed then.

Posted by: Casca at February 08, 2007 08:20 PM (2gORp)

20 My dad would have have said to you, "you talk like a girl with a paper ass! He was a man with a very limited sense of humor.

Posted by: mike at February 08, 2007 09:20 PM (UNYWb)

21 They're social clubs that foster their own particularly perverse cultures. I would never trust a boat schooler, on the other hand a USMA grad's word tends to be good. I like the way you think Casca (not that I'm unbiased on the subject).. Ross Perot..I digress.. Although generalizing, one factor that reinforces these cultural differences is the community sub-cultures in the Navy (Surface Warfare, Submariner, Aviators, etc) and to a lesser degree in the USAF (pilots versus well, everyone else).

Posted by: Col Steve at February 09, 2007 09:09 AM (pj2h7)

22 It looks like NASA administrator Mike Griffin gave Karl Rove a call and asked for something to draw attention away from this story. You know, a hurricane or something. But the truthers are on to the hurricane generator in the White House basement, so Rove had to try something different. So he had Anna Nicole Smith whacked. It worked like a charm since this astro-nuttiness is now below the fold on page 19. Just hope that a bunch of the male astronauts don't start claiming to be the real father of Anna's baby ... --HH

Posted by: Go 4 TLI at February 10, 2007 06:31 PM (TmKwU)

23 Fuck. Too late.

Posted by: Matt at February 12, 2007 03:16 PM (10G2T)

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