April 28, 2004

Thank You

i so appreciate the kind words, advice and encouragement you all have sent me. It's really heartwarming to read the comments and e-mails, and your suggestions are very welcome. i also appreciate the stories of hard decisions and their results that a lot of you have sent me, too. Makes me feel like i'm not alone. Also, i learned that some of you are contemplating even bigger life changes than me and to you i say, good luck. i'll be pulling for you, too.

i'm probably going to accept the offer from the good school. i spoke to a number of friends and some lawyers at work, who were also very helpful and encouraging. The partner i worked for told me that he would recommend me for a clerkship or part time job during the school year at their branch office up there.

My Dad seems okay with it. He says, "well we'll just have to go visit you." But i know he wanted me to go to UCLA, or Pepperdine. i didn't get into UCLA, but Pepperdine was his second choice for me because they're a relatively conservative law school. Still, he understands that the scholarship changes the equation.

My Mom remains the tough nut. She really laid it on thick last night. And it's not a situation of her desires vs. my desires. i don't want to leave her. It's not an easy decision for me. She suggested that i go for one year and try again to transfer to UCLA. That seems like an unwise way to go. i'm told law school transfers are not as easy as undergrad, nor are they a good idea, since it's only three years. It's better to stick with the same program. My plan is to convince her that three years is not that long, i'll visit every month or so, and that i will plan on coming back here when i'm done. She seemed really sad and worried last night, though. Which makes me feel like a total shithole.

Posted by: annika at 11:20 AM | Comments (12) | Add Comment
Post contains 343 words, total size 2 kb.

1 I think you're making the right decision. Your mom will come around as moms generally do (I imagine, anyway). You've gone up north to school before, right? My Mom still hopes I will apply for some job up on the Monterey Peninsula and move up there near her. It won't happen, and it is hard to disappoint her when I tell her I am a SoCal boy for life. But she knows I do have to lead my own life, and she knows that I honor her as best I can from a long way away...

Posted by: Hugo at April 28, 2004 11:43 AM (89maB)

2 i guess my background isn't very clear, sorry. My brother and i grew up in Oakland. When i went to Berkeley, my family still lived in Oakland. My parents just recently moved to L.A. and i moved down here a short time later, last July actually. So i haven't really been away from them for any extended period at all. Although, unlike my brother, i haven't lived with them since i moved out for college. But i've always been nearby.

Posted by: annika at April 28, 2004 11:53 AM (zAOEU)

3 Your mom will come around - parents always do. And you will have no problem finding a job in LA once you are done. Transferring is not a good idea, because you lose the contacts you make in first year. Those contacts are, in my opinion, the second most important thing you get out of law school after the education itself. Also, you may lose out on law review, fall recruiting and clerkship application deadlines by being lost in the shuffle. Good luck, and congratulations once again.

Posted by: OS at April 28, 2004 01:19 PM (iDpLa)

4 OTOH, while I certainly don't think I would have transferred myself, I had classmates my first year who transferred to other schools that suited them better, and it was the right thing for them to do in their circumstances. Yes, it's unusual and generally probably not the best idea, but it's always an option.

Posted by: Dave J at April 28, 2004 01:30 PM (VThvo)

5 Slightly related: Go into as little debt as possible. Take the best scholarship, get good grades, and you'll make as much money as your friends with less debt.

Posted by: roach at April 28, 2004 02:04 PM (d2Tm2)

6 You know what's really ironic? I just noticed your possible move and at the same time... Lee from Right-Thinking.com is doing it in reverse (moving back to LA from the Bay Area due to a job). All in two days. What karma!

Posted by: Chris at April 29, 2004 05:04 AM (Wj1fh)

7 What Roach said. The debt issue isn't inconsequential. I have some friends that graduated law school with close to 70-80K in debt. Regards, Tony

Posted by: Tony at April 29, 2004 11:10 AM (BRxeN)

8 While I agree with the little-debt comment, do work very hard in the first year, even if it means less work and more debt. Those first year grades (generally speaking) make or break a law career, especially if you want a BigLaw job. Fall recruiting for the second year summer jobs take place at the beginning of second year, and the only grades available are the first-year ones. Generally speaking (again) most Biglaw firms make their permanent offers based on the summer associateships.

Posted by: OS at April 29, 2004 02:05 PM (iDpLa)

9 Again, this certainly doesn't apply to everyone, OS, but IMHO working in most big firms is HIGHLY overrated. If I'm going to be a little cog in someone else's machine, at least give me some pride of ownership and let what I do have SOME wider, more noticeable consequence than shuffling a corporate client's money around. Screw that: if I'm ever out in the private sector, I'd much rather BE such a firm's client, thank you. If money is someone's number one goal, there are plenty of easier ways to go about getting it than practicing in a big firm, or even practicing law at all. I'm not one to repeat the cliche about there being too many lawyers already, but there are certainly too many people who go to law school for all the wrong reasons, or even really no particular reason... all present company excepted, of course.

Posted by: Dave J at April 29, 2004 05:36 PM (+MjkF)

10 Dave, I agree - the only point I wanted to make was that if Annika wanted the option of BigLaw, then first year grades matter the most. It is also important for law review, clerkships etc. It is good to have options.

Posted by: OS at April 29, 2004 07:42 PM (iDpLa)

11 Of course, OS: I'm just being contrarian. What do you expect...I'm an attorney! ;-)

Posted by: Dave J at April 30, 2004 06:39 AM (VThvo)

12 From a much older guy's perspective: At some point, most likely, you'll end up with your parents having predeceased you. You will never regret the good things you did for them, but you will resent having molded your life to suit their desires. In the end, it's your life. I'm proud of my kids for finding their own way and I would never want to keep them from doing so. I'm at peace with myself for having made my choices - a couple of which were decidedly not mainstream. Those are the ones that made me happiest.

Posted by: Mark at April 30, 2004 06:53 AM (oQofX)

Hide Comments | Add Comment

Comments are disabled. Post is locked.
21kb generated in CPU 0.0118, elapsed 0.1155 seconds.
62 queries taking 0.1085 seconds, 173 records returned.
Powered by Minx 1.1.6c-pink.