June 28, 2006

Wednesday Is Poetry Day: Vogon Poetry II

You know when I post a poem at night, it means I've either been really busy, the blog's been acting up, or I just couldn't find any inspired choices. Today was a perfect storm of all three reasons.

Since the most important news item of the day was the Star Jones bullshit - more important than Korean missiles or Iranian bombs or terrorist sleeper cells or treasonous papers and politicians or Iraqi amnesty or Israel kicking ass.

Star Jones, Star Jones, Star Jones!

Star Jones, Star Jones, that's what's important. But how does one best glean clues about Star Jones's mysterious exit friom the View? One need look no further than the newest Viewchik. And how better to stay informed about Star Jones lore than by reading some more bad Vogon poetry from the poet laureate of the Vogons herself, Rosie O'Donnell.


Star View

there is drama at the view
regis went on yesterday
and said
hey there is an elephant in the living room

no one likes to pretend
as if it were real

there comes a point
where u become complicit

star jones had weight loss surgery
she had part of her stomach bypassed
that is how she lost 1/2 herself

she refuses to say this
which is her right
but we do not have to pretend
we do not know

any fatty will tell u
it is nearly impossible to go
from where she was
to where she is
without medical intervention

dats da fact jack
and it is ok
talk to ur doctor
decide for yourself
if this is the option for u
by all means do it

it is hard to be fat
u get tired
ur knees hurt
people stare at u
think u less then
u feel less then

when i see one of r own
fly away from planet plus
i wave with misty eyes
proud astonished worried

we have a high recidivism rate
we us r tribe
sis and bros

so star shrinks b4 our eyes
we know the truth
but nod as she talks about
pilates and will power

i am sure star jones
beneathe the beyonce bravado
is a scared lil girl
who grew her body big
strong and safe

there is no delete button
in real life

george bush
talking about the success
in iraq
with star like showmanship
he thinking we still believe
what we know is not true

we dont buy it

peace to star jones
every wave hits the shore


Rosie wisdom, can't live with it, can't live without it.

Posted by: annika at 09:44 PM | Comments (5) | Add Comment
Post contains 439 words, total size 2 kb.

1 I can't wait until she chokes on a ham sandwich. Like her superego is going to fit with that grotesque manage of bitchy twats.

Posted by: Casca at June 29, 2006 06:14 AM (rEC2k)

2 I think my brain tried to crawl out of my ear halfway through the poem.

Posted by: Jess at June 29, 2006 07:57 AM (m4pDe)

3 Holy crap. I really had to CONCENTRATE to get through that.

Posted by: red at June 29, 2006 09:35 AM (rNgdr)

4 I'm beginning to wonder if I made a mistake by directing you to that site.

Posted by: Victor at June 29, 2006 10:55 AM (L3qPK)

5 Annika: You're wrong, I CAN live without Rosie wisdom.

Posted by: JJJET at June 29, 2006 03:42 PM (LNyv5)

Hide Comments | Add Comment

Comments are disabled. Post is locked.
17kb generated in CPU 0.04, elapsed 0.1175 seconds.
62 queries taking 0.093 seconds, 166 records returned.
Powered by Minx 1.1.6c-pink.